[HLinh]

Hi,
Sorry for posting this, but I don't know how to let this feeling pass. It has been like this for one month, since my boyfriend changes and he's not with me anymore. I feel like I'm always lonely, I feel like I lose my control and don't know what to do next, I start counting the minutes in the day and find it passes so slowly, because everyday I was with him and we had activities together, now he's not with me, I don't feel like interested to do anything. I think about him almost the time, cry every night or whenever I'm alone (if I'm with somebody else, I can control the emotions, but not when I'm alone). I try to be with someone whenever I can, be busy all the day till tired but it seems like it doesn't help at all. I keep on thinking, missing and crying when I'm alone. I always want to have someone around me, anyone, doesn't matter who he's or she's, just to be with me (just like now, I was just back home after having dinner with a friend, and I still want to have someone to talk too, to help me control the feeling because I will cry again.. ). I miss him so badly, I'm completely tired, exhausted, I even want something to happen to end all of this... Sound too weak right? Can anyone give me an advice on what should I do now? Thank in advance.

[talaniman]

I think you can benefit greatly from reading the stickies at the beginning of this forum, and understanding you are not alone, as we all go through those feelings when we break up from a relationship, and have to heal.

Just keep doing what your doing, and stay as busy as you can, as you recover, and rebuild a life that you enjoy, and that could take some time. I personally recommend physical exercise, as a great therapy to relieve tensions and help you relax and feel better through accomplishing good healthy habits.

[Devorameira]

It helps to think of the negative aspects of your ex. What caused the breakup?

It sounds as though you're missing the experience of having someone special in your life, rather than missing your ex-boyfriend specifically.

No matter what happened between you and your ex, it's time to move on. Sometimes it takes a few months to get over, but it will get easier everyday. Just keep going out with friends and try to enjoy it.

Do remember that you can and will have other loving experiences. And the strong possibility is that they will be far superior to the one you've known with this guy.

[ohsohappy]

You need to go out and re-discover yourself. You've been so caught up in thinking of being his girlfriend that you forgot about thinking that you are you. More than anything, and this is the biggest truth there is out there, you wake up with yourself every morning, and you go to bed with yourself every night. And people are going to pass in and out of those days. Doesn't matter who or when it's the way things are. So the most important thing you can do is learn to know yourself for who you are and not what roles you play. You need to go back out there and do things. Your behavior changes your attitude, not the other way around. The only way you can start feeling better is doing something, especially when you don't want to. Go out for coffee, spend time with friends, re-learn your interests. You can't define who you are by who you're with.
If my boyfriend broke up with me this very minute, I'd still know who I am without him. I'd still be able to pick myself up. Would I be devastated? Yes. Would I miss him? Absolutely. Would I move on? There's no other way, it's inevitable that I will move on.
You have to get to know yourself again for who you are, not for who you were when you were with him.
Too many people depend on other people's expectations and desires to tell them who to be.
Of course you have no interest in anything, you don't know anything else, so teach yourself again, and be happy. There are so many things you still have the opportunity to do. All is not lost and your life is not over. Think of it as a new chapter. Your book isn't over yet. You still have several thousand pages to fill. Don't waste all of them sulking over a boy that's not going to come back, you're not doing yourself any favors. Embrace the time you still have left and enjoy it to the fullest. You don't need him to write the entire story.

Good luck.