[Rose2010]

My husband and his male co-worker exchange texts, etc. about their female co-workers. They say things like they want to sleep with them or that they want to unbutton her blouse. Of course I find this disrespectful to me as a wife, but isn't it also crossing the line as far as professional work conduct?

[Devorameira]

In my book it's all wrong... not respectful to you or the co-workers.

If one of the female co-workers get their hands on one of the texts, they could be in deep crap with the boss.

[dhuber]

Right, right and right! This is not only inappropriate it's hurtful. Your husband is using these relationships to be selfish and hurtful. Not just that, but as you said it is very unprofessional. No one wants to support a business where people behave that way. If his customers were privy to this information they may move on. I can't understand why the coworkers are participating and why they think it is cute. In the wrong environment, someone could claim sexual harassment. Have a talk with your husband immediately! I don't know what to tell you if he still thinks it is funny because it isn't. I wonder if their husbands thinks it is cute. You have my sympathy. I am a therapist in MD and I don't find this behavior very considerate of you

[beachloverjohn]

That's the way guys talk sometimes.. I don't, but I have respect for women. But doing at work about co-workers is very inappropriate. And if that is what he does at work, what could he be doing in his spare time?

[newland2010]

A lot of guys are talking like that??

[Cat1864]

Have you talked to husband about this and the repercussions of his actions? If they are texting, etc. I am sure that they are probably saying things in person. Fewer women are putting up with harassment in the work place and more businesses are taking extremely decisive measures to keep from being sued.

I am wondering there is an underlying issue with how you know about these texts, etc. Does your husband share them with you? Are you looking for proof of something else?

[beachloverjohn]

I was wondering the same thing.. Are you being told about this by someone he works with? Did you see the texts? I doubt if your husband told you this unless he's a complete idiot.. Your husband doesn't seem to have any respect for women, including his wife. His actions at work definitely is crossing the line, and it's not unheard of to lose a job over this. You need to straighten him out ASAP, or your marriage could also be in jeopardy if he is thinking about sleeping with other woman. It's one thing to fantasize about others, it's quite another to go out looking. If he and his co=workers exchange these kind of texts, then who's to say they won't try to act on them..

[talaniman]

Now you know what kind of a dumb slob you married, and his co workers are no better. If your not disgusted enough to leave, or tell their wives, then drop it. Text between him and his buddies is not your business, unless it requires your actions.

[Rose2010]

Thank you all for your responses to my question. Of course I confronted my husband about the texts and he apologized and told me that he wouldn't talk like that anymore. For those of you who asked how I saw the text--my husband asked me to mail something work related to his colleague and when he forwarded the message with the address, their previous conversation was in the body of the e-mail. He didn't mean for me to see it, but he did admit to talking like that all of the time with this particular co-worker. I explained to him how disrespected I felt as his wife and that I also had a big problem with it from the stand point as a working woman. I am really disappointed in my husband, because he portrays himself as an "equality" supporter and he says that he would never do anything to hurt me, but even though he apologized, I can tell that he doesn't think that what he did is wrong on the same level that I do.