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    desperatehelp1's Avatar
    desperatehelp1 Posts: 3, Reputation: 2
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    #1

    Oct 19, 2010, 12:37 PM
    I've ruined my relationship with lying how do I fix it
    I was in an abusive relationship for years and as a result started to lie to try and avoid a beating, that worked for a little bit, I've since left my husband and we are divorced, I've met a really nice guy but as a result of my previous relationship I've been lying to him. And there is no reason to lie to him, I'm going to see a councillor cause I really need help my relationship is practically over and I need to fix it
    rebeccahstrean's Avatar
    rebeccahstrean Posts: 165, Reputation: 9
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    #2

    Oct 19, 2010, 12:44 PM
    Communication with your boyfriend is everything! You need to sit him down either at home or in your counseling session and have a talk with him. And tell him aobut your ex husband and tell him that you just got used to lying to him so now your lying to HIM. Then so he knows... and then just be like I'm sorry and I'm working on it. You have to be honest in a relationship... I'm an honest person... and I found out its GOOD! So he might be able to just trust you one day and it will all be good:)
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #3

    Oct 19, 2010, 12:49 PM

    Get help to stop lying, and heal from what you have been through, and then be healthy and happy with yourself.

    That's more important than fixing a relationship, and easier to fix something when your healthy, so do whatever it takes to get healthy, and happy. Then your relationship will be healthy and won't need fixing.

    Sorry for what you have been through, and glad your out of that situation, but there are no quick fixes, or magic potents for your problems, just a lot of hard work, time, and patience by YOU!
    answerme_tender's Avatar
    answerme_tender Posts: 1,148, Reputation: 689
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    #4

    Oct 19, 2010, 12:51 PM

    Is this the first time you have lied about anything in particular with him? What did you lie about?
    Tvaughn29's Avatar
    Tvaughn29 Posts: 13, Reputation: 3
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    #5

    Oct 19, 2010, 12:56 PM
    Sit down and have a talk with him and tell him the truth and tell him its because of your past relationship you feel you have to lie,but you really don't want to,and tell him you want you two to work and you'll do whatever it takes-if he loves you and its worth it he'll listen to you,it'll all work out.
    desperatehelp1's Avatar
    desperatehelp1 Posts: 3, Reputation: 2
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    #6

    Oct 20, 2010, 09:52 AM
    Comment on answerme_tender's post
    No its not the first time I've lied to him, and I've lied about insignificant things just plain stupid really I've had no reason to lie to him about anything.
    answerme_tender's Avatar
    answerme_tender Posts: 1,148, Reputation: 689
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    #7

    Oct 20, 2010, 09:56 AM

    I agree get some counceling, its time before you lose even more relationships due to lying. I'm talking friends,family,co-workers, etc when mentioning other relationships.
    xxpolxx's Avatar
    xxpolxx Posts: 9, Reputation: 2
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    #8

    Mar 23, 2012, 07:32 PM
    I understand how you feel cause I also lie a lot they are harmless but I lie for no reason and I can't help it. Counselling seems not working its just I telll the truth during counselling but it doesn't help me stop lying. I don't know what to do.
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