Check out some similar questions!

Bbeyes7811 · Oct 12, 2010, 05:42 PM

Little less than a year ago I made friends with someone after their nasty break-up. Now months later I can't help having strong feelings for my friend. In my opinion they are amazing. I would like to be honest and at least tell my friend how I feel. I'm just worried that I will lose a great friend if he does not feel the same. I don't know if he is even ready for a relationship beyond friendship with girls right now since his break-up. Things he says and do are conflicting when it comes to girls and relationships. Should I wait or fess up?

mystific · Oct 12, 2010, 07:33 PM

I'd wait. If not you're going to wade through a world of hurt if he uses you as a rebound and destroys the friendship you currently have.

The word 'conflicting' isn't something that'd entice any form of declaration from me.

beachloverjohn · Oct 13, 2010, 10:11 AM

You are friends with a guy that is not dating anyone. You already have strong feelings for him, so that takes care of your friendship. Be honest with yourself. You always liked him you were just biding your time. Sure you have been a friend, but you hoped that it would turn into something more. Ok, so what do you do. You get him alone in a romantic situation, you look into his eyes like you want to kiss him, and you throw your arms around him and give him a long passionate kiss. If that doesn't lead to anything, then you find a new friend. And if it does lead to something, then you still find a new friend.

Make a move, only way to find out.. Hope this helps.

answerme_tender · Oct 13, 2010, 11:49 AM

I have to agree with John. Listen your both all grown up, if your willing to take the chance and accept consequences no matter what happens then go for it. But remember once you take this step forward, you may not have the chance to go back as "just friends". Good luck

beachloverjohn · Oct 13, 2010, 12:14 PM

Answerme, I agree with you agreeing with me. It is almost impossible remaining friends with someone you have stronger, romantic feelings for. If I really care for a girl that way, but she doesn't know it and I keep it a secret, then I take the chance that she will get involved with someone else, and I have to pretend to be happy about it because I'm her friend. Well I'm no saint, so I think the only emotion I would have would be extreme jealousy. Some friend I would be.

I wish · Oct 13, 2010, 12:19 PM

I don't know if waiting will make a difference on how he feels about you. You know how he feels about you unless you ask or unless he comes to you.

Just be prepared to face the possibility of losing a friend if you were to confess.

s.m.lover · Oct 15, 2010, 06:56 PM

Quote from I wish:
"I don't know if waiting will make a difference on how he feels about you. You know how he feels about you unless you ask or unless he comes to you."

I agree!

Bbeyes7811 · Oct 15, 2010, 08:44 PM

Thank you all for answering! I have been thinking about what each of you have written and I have reached a conclusion for now. My conclusion is that you are mostly likely right that waiting won't change his feelings about me. I will be honest and express how I feel when there is an opportunity to. I'm not one for believing "perfect" timing, but I do believe in horrible timing and would like to avoid horrible timing.
In addition, I would like to clear one thing up... I was never biding my time over this person. In fact when I first met my friend he didn't make a positive impression on me at all. My gut instinct at first was to stay away from him. Obviously that didn't last long, we met in small school and befriending the same people leading us to be in the same group of friends and me getting to know him. He's a great person and friend, I'm glad that I went against my first impression because now I can't imagine not having him around and at the very least being my friend.

Enigma1999 · Oct 15, 2010, 08:58 PM

Originally Posted by Bbeyes7811

Thank you all for answering! I have been thinking about what each of you have written and I have reached a conclusion for now. My conclusion is that you are mostly likely right that waiting won't change his feelings about me. I will be honest and express how I feel when there is an opportunity to. I'm not one for believing "perfect" timing, but I do believe in horrible timing and would like to avoid horrible timing.
In addition, I would like to clear one thing up... I was never biding my time over this person. In fact when I first met my friend he didn't make a positive impression on me at all. My gut instinct at first was to stay away from him. Obviously that didn't last long, we met in small school and befriending the same people leading us to be in the same group of friends and me getting to know him. He's a great person and friend, I'm glad that I went against my first impression because now I can't imagine not having him around and at the very least being my friend.

I was in your situation before. I really liked this person, and really wanted to find out if the feeling was mutual. So I made the first move by kissing him. Then I pulled back and said, " I'm so sorry, I don't know what came over me." It was then when he grabbed me and started kissing me back.

So I think you should find out.

Just remember that it could back fire on you.

Good luck.

I wish · Oct 16, 2010, 07:36 PM

Actually, sometimes letting your feelings out in the open can clear the air and reduce the tension. For example, if he saw you as a great friend, then he would make it clear that he doesn't have feelings for you, but would still like to continue a friendship, in which case your friendship might actually be even stronger.

If he stops being friends with you because you have feelings for him, then it doesn't sound like you had a very strong friendship in the first place.

Bbeyes7811 · Oct 18, 2010, 07:00 PM

I don't think he would completely stop being friends with me if he didn't feel the same... things would definitely would be different and probably not as close compared to now.

I wish · Oct 19, 2010, 10:44 AM

Originally Posted by Bbeyes7811

I don't think he would completely stop being friends with me if he didn't feel the same... things would definitely would be different and probably not as close compared to now.

You won't now until you find out. I can only speak from my experience, but I find that when things are out in the open, you can be more honest with each other. By being more honest with each other, its bulids trust and a stronger friendship.

But if you're walking around hiding your feelings for him, then you're not really being honest with him, sounds more like you're afraid of rejection and afraid to lose him as your friend. But if he saw you as a close friend, he wouldn't feel awkward telling you the truth and moving forward from that. If either of you can't face the truth, then you don't really have a strong friendship in the first place anyway.