Check out some similar questions!

shogan88 · Sep 16, 2010, 03:04 PM

My girlfriend and I have been together since march of 2009. At one point, she was living here with me and we were together at the hip. She went home to stay with her parents back in may, and in June I made a big mistake and lied to her about a few things. We ended up getting back together 2 weeks later after she had broke up with me. Last month, we went to Florida and had an amazing time. Just us too. But we had talked about when she started school that she was really going to have to focus because she is an engineering major. She is also still at home because her parents do not have the money to let her stay at school on campus. Her parents are very religious and the only reason why she was with me so much and sleeping over is because they thought she was at school sleeping at her dorm etc etc but now with her at home she is on a much tighter leash. Plus with the dad losing his job, her having to drive so much back and forth to school, the limited funds and the extreme amount of pressure she is under with school its been really hard to see each other. She told me that it scares her because sometimes she misses me and sometimes she doesn't. And sometimes she feels very in love with me, and sometimes not so much. I ask her if she wanted to do a month of no contact and she said it would be impossible because she would just miss me way too much and that the thought of me with someone else makes her ill. I'm thinking she is just emotionally overwhelmed with everything going on and school and me acting insecure and needy (I was only doing this because I thought the lack of her seeing me or whatever was because maybe there someone else) was really causing her much more stress. I have since really laid back and she calls me mid day to see how my day was and to talk briefly and then she calls me every night before bed like clock work. She still says I love you before hanging up and I know she still cares. I just do not know what to do. Do you think if I lay back and let her adjust to her new life of stress things will work out? Should I let her come to me so she does not feel so crowded?

Devorameira · Sep 16, 2010, 03:41 PM

Why not just hang back and see what happens? What do you have to lose?

It really sounds to me like she's under a lot of stress, so every little bit of stress that you can keep from her may help.

Kitkat22 · Sep 16, 2010, 03:47 PM

Originally Posted by Devorameira

Why not just hang back and see what happens? What do you have to lose?

It really sounds to me like she's under a lot of stress, so every little bit of stress that you can keep from her may help.

I agree with Dev... Gotta spread the rep.:)

shogan88 · Sep 16, 2010, 03:51 PM

Yeah I understand. I gave her every chance to break up with me. But she wouldn't. When we were arguing last week I hadn't spoke to her all day and was out with my friends and my phone died. She freaked out and checks my email at 1:30AM and there is a girl emailing me asking me for wu tang songs. It was clearly innocent. But it was enough for her to call all my friends to try to find me, leave me a voicemail crying and then call my mother asking her if I was even coming home at 1:30am. This was not even a week ago. We skipped class together Tuesday and went and sat by the lake and talked and cuddled and laughed. I just think the poor girl is overwhelmed. She has no days off. After she gets done at school on Friday at 12:50pm she goes to work for 5 and doesn't get out till after 12am. Saturday is 5 till after 12 and Sunday is the same thing.

I have just been f****ed over by people I thought loved me my entire life. There isn't another guy. I know this just because I know and I have my ways.

shogan88 · Sep 16, 2010, 03:55 PM

See my post above. Just confused as hell

Kitkat22 · Sep 16, 2010, 04:06 PM

Originally Posted by shogan88

yeah i understand. i gave her every chance to break up with me. but she wouldn't. when we were arguing last week i hadnt spoke to her all day and was out with my friends and my phone died. she freaked out and checks my email at 1:30AM and there is a girl emailing me asking me for wu tang songs. it was clearly innocent. but it was enough for her to call all my friends to try to find me, leave me a voicemail crying and then call my mother asking her if i was even coming home at 1:30am. this was not even a week ago. we skipped class together tuesday and went and sat by the lake and talked and cuddled and laughed. i just think the poor girl is overwhelmed. she has no days off. after she gets done at school on friday at 12:50pm she goes to work for 5 and doesnt get out till after 12am. saturday is 5 till after 12 and sunday is the same thing.

i have just been f****ed over by people i thought loved me my entire life. there isn't another guy. i know this just because i know and i have my ways.

Maybe this time apart will help you see things clearer. If she's worth it and you love her and she loves you it will work out. Sometimes you get disheartened I know but, it may be worth it.:)

shogan88 · Sep 16, 2010, 04:15 PM

And as I'm typing this she called me to get my opinion on new sunglasses. She wants me to come with her tomorrow after school before she goes to work and she wants to get ready at my house. Earlier this week she couldn't tell me if she even wanted to sleep over at all after work but she said she wants to but she isn't sure fri or sat yet. I guess this is a good thing also because if she didn't care or wasn't attracted why would she care about what I thought of her sunglasses or want to go with me or whatever.

shogan88 · Sep 16, 2010, 04:16 PM

Check my newer post. I forgot to submit it as a comment. I'm an idiot

Kitkat22 · Sep 16, 2010, 04:20 PM

Originally Posted by shogan88

and as im typing this she called me to get my opinion on new sunglasses. she wants me to come with her tomorrow after school before she goes to work and she wants to get ready at my house. earlier this week she couldn't tell me if she even wanted to sleep over at all after work but she said she wants to but she isnt sure fri or sat yet. i guess this is a good thing also because if she didnt care or wasnt attracted why would she care about what i thought of her sunglasses or want to go with me or whatever.

Just give each other some space. If you feel as though you need some time to get your head together, tell her. I believe I would be a little confused about the she's acting. Yes I think she cares about you.

shogan88 · Sep 16, 2010, 04:27 PM

Then she said OK baby I'm going to go eat dinner and I asked her if I was going to hear from her later and she goes DUHHHHHHHHHHHH. I'm just effing confused

talaniman · Sep 17, 2010, 08:37 AM

shogan88 : then she said OK baby I'm going to go eat dinner and I asked her if I was going to hear from her later and she goes DUHHHHHHHHHHHH. I'm just effing confused

Confused about what?? She has a lot of things to do, and its hard to make time for everything, but she tries her best it seems, to make time for you. If you were not so insecure and needy, you wouldn't be so confused, and be supportive when you know she has a full plate, and back off, and relax.

Just appreciate her efforts, and help with the logistics when you can. This is about you, and how you act more than it is about her. So figure out why your so needy, and insecure, and work to correct it. To be fair she is a bit the same way, and it only makes it worse, but with some honest communications, and a show of maturity, maybe you both can avoid getting carried away, and freaking each other out.