[pardawg45]

I am having one of those classic problems that I see everywhere, but I want to know what you guys think as indepent people not involved in the situation.

I like a girl, but she has a boyfriend (for a little over 1 year). I met her at work and we see each other basically everyday. I know that this does not bode well for me and is the primary reason I have not told her how I feel (if I told her I would feel a lot better because then I would have a yes/no answer from her) I also want to tell her now, so that, if, in the future she were to break up with her boyfriend, I would stick out in her mind a little more. I must tell you a direct quote from a mutual friend of ours about her and her boyfriend "I talked to her the other day about her boyfriend. I asked if he was “the one”. She said, no. I asked her how long she would date him if that was the case, and she said, she wonders the same thing." This quote came to me at a time when I was ready to accept my place as just her friend. If I had never heard this, I would have been content in my current position, but this (and this alone) REALLY makes me want to tell her how I feel.

Now I don't need to get into all the details about our relationship, other than we have consistently hung out with her outside of work, but she has never asked me to do anything on her own. I have always initiated the hanging out. She has asked me as part of a group to hang out, but that is it. This makes it very hard for me because all I want to do is ask her to hang out because I am almost assured a 'yes' from her. I respect her and her boyfriend, I would never do anything to push myself in between them, which is why I feel so bad right now.

Please let me know what you think, I will revise any part that is not clear and give extra details to help, but I need some help and soon.

[Wondergirl]

As long as she is in any kind of relationship with someone, she is off limits to you. And you don't want to be a rebound either, if and when she breaks up with him, 'cause we all know you won't last long.

And you might not be "the one" either. (Actually, there is no such thing.)

[Homegirl 50]

She has a boyfriend so how you feel about her is immaterial. How she feels about her boyfriend is none of your business. She is still with him so that should tell you something.
She has shown no signs of wanting to get to know you better, so you need to just face the fact that she is off limits.

[Devorameira]

She is totally off limits. She's taken - she's already in a relationship.

She has no intention of getting romantically involved with you, so you just have to accept the fact that she's only a friend and find yourself an available girlfriend.

[pardawg45]

I am not trying to be "the one", nor am I trying to date her now. I completely respect her and her boyfriend and do not want to break them up. I just want to know if I should tell her how I feel, but from the sounds of it, the only option I have is to wait...

[Homegirl 50]

If you respect her and her boyfriend, you would not even be asking this.
There are boundaries, you are trying to cross one. Why would she need to know how you feel about her except to advance your status if they break up? That is not respect.

[I wish]

Check out these guidelines, it should cover it: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating...ip-463250.html

The bottom line is whether you're willing to face the consequences of your actions.

[pardawg45]

The problem is... I work with her and see her most everyday... so, 1 is not an option because I can't go NC, and 2 could make my life pretty horrible if it goes wrong. So, I guess I am forced to do 3... is there anything else I should know?

[I wish]

Check out my story: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating...nd-319890.html

I asked the same question when I was in a similar situation. What else can we do?

[Homegirl 50]

You say you think you're in love with her.
She has a boyfriend so why do you have to do anything?
You leave her alone.
If it bothers you for things to be as they are, you avoid her until you feel more stable, but disrupting her life by telling her your feelings is selfish. Why should she now be put ill at ease because you THINK you love her?

[pardawg45]

Ok, I am sorry to offend you. I am not going to tell her, I just needed to hear it from someone else.

I said in my original post that the only reason I was even THINKING about saying anything was what our mutual friend told me.

Thank you for your concern.

[Homegirl 50]

You have not offended me.
I wish you well.