[atiyac]

I been married for almost 4 years. I am an engineer business owner originally from South America and I moved to the states because I married an American who doesn't speak spanish. He had 2 kids (Girl 13, Boy 11) from his first marriage and I have a daughter 14. Blending families is not easy at all. His kids don't respect me at all, and he makes fn of me in front of them, he doesn't have limits for them, no rules, no discipline. They treat me s a maid because I work from home 2 weeks and travel 2 weeks, and specially the girl is ery disrespectfull even with her dad, he faiths with her brother everyday, swearing,bad words and kicking pushing, at school is always in trouble everyweek calls from school for her behavoir and my husband blame it on me because I want to set rules and he says I am old fashion. The kids mother was in drugs for many years no contact with the kids until a year ago when she try to kill herself, went for rehab and become to be a mother and now is worst because she also allows the kids do nothing in my house, They live with us and she doesn't agree they have to help with the chores at home, just me and my daughter do cleaning everyweek. I cook, clean, work, I make more money than my husband and he is jelous because I start 4 months ago my own bank account, he wanted control and spd my money too, for 3 years I don't buy I par of shoes for me, when I am traveling he spend the money with his kids and buy them everything they want, he spends on video games, movies, clothes(because is easy to have new clothes instead of washte dirty ones, his kids throw clothes and food in the garbage very easy. I am tired I can't move forward in lif like this, I sold my business to build a house and they don't respect me, they have health insurance because of me,I am the one who goes school conference, sports, etc and pay for lunch , books, etc and now his ex-wife is the perfect mother just because become christian and wants to be close to the kids. He always embarrasme in front of te kids, never tak e out to eat (just if we go with the kids) and I have to pay for. I am tired, I think about divorce him now. My company is relocating my in Texas he says he is not going with me unil we sell the house, I need to work so I am going to move myself with my daughter and see what happen. He always blame on me everything, if his kids are naughty is because of me... he also has a single friend who hates me, the guy smokes pot and looks like a pig, no girlfriend.. he always makes plans on the weekends to go baseball, race track, hanging out with out me and I am the stupid one at home cleaing and dealing with his kids.

[Blue Angel]

Unfortunately if your husband doesn't treat you with respect his kids never will. Blended families are hard, I come from one as well and it was always a struggle in my house. You can always try family counsiling to see if you can work through the issues but your husband has to be willing. Sometimes the parents in the household don't realize how their own bad behavior is affecting the rest of the household. If you don't see the possibility of anything improving then divorce may be the best option for you and your daughter. It's definitely not good for anyone to be taken advantage of and based on your explanation that sounds likes it's exactly what they are doing. You and your daughter should not be the supporting and maintaining the household alone, the whole family should be doing their part.

[Wondergirl]

Your future move to Texas might be just the right time to make a permanent break from the unappreciative gang you live with. How soon will you move? Can legal things get done before then? Could he afford to stay in the house and pay for it himself?

[Gemini54]

I think you need to get away and re-evaluate your life and your marriage. The move to Texas might just be the thing that you need.

I'd be suggesting that you need to start setting some boundaries - firstly stop being the maid and the general $hit kicker. Secondly start acting like you deserve respect instead of asking for it. Thirdly, separate yourself financially from this man and his children - don't allow them access to your credit cards, business, or bank accounts.

The only one that can make changes to this dynamic is you. If you allow yourself to be taken advantage of then that's what will continue to happen.

Go to Texas and give yourself some thinking and breathing space. Only then can you make decisions with your own well being and happiness in mind.