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klee93 · Mar 5, 2010, 01:43 PM

Hey, a couple of weeks ago I went to a party, and got extremely drunk, there was a guy there who intimidates me a lot. He also twists things so that I'm wrapped round his little finger, he is also an alcoholic.
At this party, he claimed to be drunk but I'm pretty certain he wasn't. He kissed me but I didn't want to. I kept passing out and he kept dragging me back up by my forearm and I had to keep kissing him, he tried to take off my top, and he put my hands down his pants, I didn't let him do any of these things but he still tried. He also said he wished he had a condom with him. I know I didn't have sex with him. I woke up with a bruise on my face and when I told him he said "oh, did i hit you in my sleep?" I'm now unsure as to how I got the bruise. The next day I felt disgusting and could keep smelling him, I had to shower every time I smelt him and cleaned myself till I was red all over. I got brave enough to tell my tutor and he said it was sexual abuse, I then spoke to a child protection liaison officer who is trying to help me. However this guy goes to the same college, he knows I'm scared of him, he winked at me and hugs me, he pulls me really close and the way he stands shows he thinks he has power, he puts his head close to mine, and every time he's near me he always touches me to make his presence felt. Last Saturday I went to another party, this time I didn't drink as now I'm too aware of the consequences, he spoke to me again and got close, but hed laugh and snort as if to say I'm ridiculous, because he knows I asked a friend for help, then whenever one of my friends walked past hed say really loud that he's not going to rape me. I'm too scared to go to the police, because I can really see him hurting me or even killing me. He'll twist it so that its my fault, I really don't know what to do, because I'm scared. He has too much power over me because he knows that he can intimidate me. He pushes the boundaries too far, and he knows it. Please help me. I'm 16.

Synnen · Mar 5, 2010, 02:04 PM

I've moved your thread from Adult Sexuality to Criminal Law for 2 reasons.

1. You're 16. You must be 18 to post in Adult Sexuality
2. You will probably get a lot more knowledgeable answers here that will help you determine your legal rights.

hheath541 · Mar 5, 2010, 02:32 PM

What he did was sexual assult of a minor. What he does every time he invades your space or touches you, is sexual harassment. Both are forms of sexual abuse.

Report it to the authorities. If he does something like this in the future, report it again. The police can't do anything about his actions, if they don't know about them.

If possible, file a restraining order against him. That way, he'll get in trouble if he comes near you again.

You can be sure he's treating other girls the same way, and probably worse. They're probably just as afraid of him as you are, if not more so. Be strong for yourself, and them, and report him.

Is he 18? If so, then he'll have the additional charges of not just sexual assult, but sexual assult on a minor.

Are you in the US? If so, which state? That will make a difference in what the law can do.

klee93 · Mar 5, 2010, 03:11 PM

He is 18, and I live in the uk

rainacidbeer · Mar 5, 2010, 04:25 PM

Report it so at least something is on file if someone else files a complaint with the cops. Be careful with drinking I myself screwed up many times, a lot of times you can't be real sure what happened or be able to prove it. Report him asap and talk to a consuler, take care . It might be hard to prove what happened because you were not in a clear state of mind. He probably has habit of doing this to other people and/or will continue if no one stops him.

hheath541 · Mar 5, 2010, 06:43 PM

I'm not familiar with UK laws, but, if I remember correctly, the legal age of majority is 17. I'm sure the UK has laws against sexual assault on a minor.

you need to report him. The more legal complaints there are against him, the easier it'll be to stop him.

does the UK have something like a restraining order? A legal action that would forbid him from being x number of meters near you? If so, then I would suggest seeing about getting one.

justcurious55 · Mar 5, 2010, 07:55 PM

In addition to the others advice, I'd like to add, how about staying away from parties for the time being. And taking a self defense class. I'm not saying don't ever party again, but going to parties that he's at just makes it that much easier for him to get to you. And your safety is more important that having fun. And the self defense class will be helpful in case he ever tries anything on you again and will hopefully build your confidence up enough to tell him to back off and leave you alone. He only has power over you if you choose to let him. Don't let him.