[Rocker Jack V]

I was friends with John for 2+ years. We were in a band for 2 years and were pretty close. Last year I worked for 3-4 months to put another band together with a guy named James and I included John. A week after I brought John over, I was fired because we had differences in the creative process. Rather than attempt to work it out with me (even though I had been the driving force behind the band and I got all the band members together), John, James and a drummer (Bjorn) decided to go on without me. I accepted that eventually.

However it was John's actions that deeply hurt me. He basically ditched me for 2 strangers. I cut off contact with him shortly after New Year's of 2009. Recently we have begun to attend the same school and friends are pushing us to forget the past. I have been indifferent to him since maybe April of last year when I decided I wouldn't let their actions bother me.

If we're going to be friends again, we have band-related issues that we need to resolve. I feel slighted. I would like recognition for my contributions to the band which include (from least to most important):

a) recognition as a founding member if it is ever discussed in any band-related literature
b) their name
c) two or three of my songs which they added lyrics over and used -- without my blessing.

How should I go about this?

[amicon]

I can only suggest that you ask him to meet up with you and talk it over if you-seriously-want this yourself.

You should be doing this for you not because other people think it's the right thing to do.

[inertia]

Dude, musicians are a fickle and selfish breed (I'm one, but not bad anymore). I say let bygones be bygones, but don't do anything musically with him anymore. Shrug it off and start another band. I got kicked out of a band when I broke up with a girl and one of the other guys started dating her. Talk about betrayal. Study your history man, this stuff happens every day. I know it's a blow to the ego, but you better get used to it.

[Rocker Jack V]

To Amicon:
Agreed. I already made the attempt.
To reword my question: how should I go about restoring our friendship -- and getting recognition for my efforts.
If this band somehow gets anywhere legally or financially, that''s MY music and I want recognition for it.

For example, if they sell 1000 records on itunes or CDbaby -- with 2 of my songs on there, and I am not mentioned, that is an issue. Financial compensation could become an issue -- but it isn't at this point.

[Rocker Jack V]

Inertia, I am sorry to hear about that experience. Yes I am a history buff so I realize this stuff happens all the time -- and is probably happening right now. Doesn't make it right. John is the one who feels bad that we're not talking. I go through phases where I wonder what would have been, but I'm much happier (musically) where I'm at right now.
If John really wants me back in his life, he better lose his ego.

[inertia]

I gave up on the band thing myself. I just play and write solo. It's more enjoyable and free of all the band drama (which can sadly be worse than many romantic relationships).

[Rocker Jack V]

I've been solo for about a year. I tried to get a band together recently but it's difficult to get off the ground because we're all in school.
That doesn't solve my issue with John though. I'm trying to figure out the appropriate way to get my songs back. I already have a few compromises but I doubt he would be happy with that, and then us being friends would be derailed. I'm not going to compromise on that. My music is more important to me than a friend who betrayed me (especially in a musical context where I gave him a hand by bringing him in).

[talaniman]

a) recognition as a founding member if it is ever discussed in any band-related literature
Unrealistic seeing how your gone NOW!
b) their name
In your own words, it's their name.
c) two or three of my songs which they added lyrics over and used -- without my blessing.
Now this is a legal issue, if they make money. However, you should be recognized as a writer, and may even have a recourse if your song is patented (or the music industry version) by you.

I think its more your hurt ego talking since it appears unanimous that the group continue without you. Its fair though to have them return your music, but again this may become a legal issue if you can't resolve it among you.

[Rocker Jack V]

I don't care about the group continuing without me. I have my own path and it didn't work out for a reason. A year ago I did care -- but now I don't.
b) I gave them their name while I was in the band. They continue to claim that I didn't have ANY part in it at all. I still have no claim on it if it is used in a legal context?
c) if ever a cd is released whether in the industry or not -- I deserve co-credits (I say co because the lyrics and vocal melodies go to them) on those two songs. I wrote them.