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    kimmi_85's Avatar
    kimmi_85 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jul 23, 2009, 08:53 PM
    How do I handle my best friend's relationship with her other best friend?
    When I met my best friend almost 5 years ago, she and I clicked almost immediately. We became very fast friends and eventually we became best friends. I always knew that she had another best friend. But when I got to know this other "best friend" I saw someone who bossed my best friend around. It just didn't even look like friendship to me. It looked more like mother/daughter, or boss/employee. The other friend is handicapped and my best friend feels very needed by her because she helps her with her physical needs. She loves to feel needed. Now my best friend and I laugh all the time and we really enjoy eachother's company. We are together almost every day. But when the other friend comes to visit or my best friend goes there, she doesn't spend much time with me at all. I have just come to resent it over the years that we have been friends. For me, the main thing is I act like a best friend. I don't treat her badly. This other girl even called up my best friends parents and told them things about my best friend's husband, which she had asked her not to do. She did it anyway. So for me to have to take a back seat when she comes makes me feel like a second rate friend, especially when she doesn't even treat her like a best friend. She tells my best friend that she is her best friend but even on her Facebook, there is no reference to that. By her picture, she calls her only her friend, not her best friend. I have talked to my best friend about this and she realizes what I'm saying to an extent, but she believes this girl thinks of her as her best friend. She calls my best friend every day just about and I'm just tired of her being in the picture. Am I being ridiculous? Am I being jealous for nothing? What should I do?
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    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert
     
    #2

    Jul 24, 2009, 05:28 AM

    You don't do anything. Best friends are suppose to happen naturally. Don't worry about the other best, just worry about your friendship with your best friend.
    kctiger's Avatar
    kctiger Posts: 3,653, Reputation: 1319
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    #3

    Jul 24, 2009, 05:41 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by kimmi_85 View Post
    Am I being jealous for nothing? What should I do?
    </br>
    Yes, you are. I have never heard someone act so needy about a best friend... do you date anyone? Back off and realize your best friend has a life too, and it doesn't always revolve around you.
    roxypox's Avatar
    roxypox Posts: 1,028, Reputation: 328
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    #4

    Jul 24, 2009, 07:51 AM

    I also think that you sound jealous and needy.

    From what I gather from your post you are jealous about the friend, especially when that friend steals her time away from you.

    What you can do is try to relax. Sure you can worry about the way she is being threated, but the two of them are friends for a reason, and the two of you are friends for a reason.

    Just stop worrying about the other friend and relax and enjoy the friendship that you have with this person.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #5

    Jul 24, 2009, 09:16 AM

    You sound jealous, and maybe your intentions are good, but your crossing the line.

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