[Mylady69]

I am a widow of 3 1/2 years and I still cannot get over the loniness that I suffer from. My Doctor subscribed anti-depressants but they don't do anything for me, in fact they make me quite nauseous. Days seem they are not worth living for, the silence is endless. Sometimes it is 3 weeks before I speak to anybody and that will only be general conversation when I go food shopping. I used to be such an outgoing person now I just feel trapped all the time

[redhed35]

Hey,do you have family?

Do you attend social gatherings or bereavement groups?

A lot of support can be had from the groups and strong friendships made.

Have you thought about volunteering somewhere,an old folk home or children's hospital,even reading stories for kids at the liberary.

Grief is a funny thing,just when you think your over the worst,fresh tears and old memories come back.

Keeping a journal helps,and also a scrapbook of your loved ones achievements.

Edit: this is a question and answer forum,not a chat room,there is a wealth of experience here,support and advice.

Others will post a response and hopefully offer other suggestions that will give you options to consider.

[Mylady69]

Es I do have family but they live abroad and my daughter who lives approx 75 miles away has had hardly any contact with me since her Dad died. I belong to the befriending service and vist an elderly lady once a week. It is the lonliness of being completely on my own and not having any conversation with anybody. Days seem never-ending and I feel worse now that when my Husband died. I will ty keeping a journal but there won't be much in it as nothing happens in my life.

[redhed35]

If you don't work have you considered a job?

Even voluntery at a charity shop,with all the comings and goings I'm sure you could fill the journal.

Is there something you have always wanted to do?

Travel,I know that might sound daunting,but there are travel agents that do groups over 40's,50's and 60's,ill check some out and post some links if your interested.

You have to make the change,its hard finding a new normal,but unless you step out of your confort zone,nothing will change.

It takes a little courage,but you have the strength... time perhaps to stop just surviving,and time to live again.

[Stringer]

if you dont work have you considered a job?

even voluntery at a charity shop,with all the comings and goings im sure you could fill the journal.

is there something you have always wanted to do?

travel,i know that might sound daunting,but there are travel agents that do groups over 40's,50's and 60's,ill check some out and post some links if your interested.

you have to make the change,its hard finding a new normal,but unless you step out of your confort zone,nothing will change.

it takes a little courage,but you have the strenght...time perhaps to stop just surviving,and time to live again.

Can't give you a greenie Red, that was great advice. There comes a time when you just have to 'step-up' and take charge of things...

[Gemini54]

I think that loneliness can become a habit, fed from fear about going outside what has become familiar and comfortable.

I can really understand this, as I have a sister that has had this experience.

Red is absolutely right - you need to take some steps outside your comfort zone. Start with small ones, and then build up.

Volunteer, offer to take meals to people, join a book club, cookery club, garden club, sporting club, the gym... there are SO many things that you can do which will put you in contact with people - and slowly, ever so slowly you will begin to connect and reestablish human contacts.

It does mean that you have to make an effort. It does mean that you might feel uncomfortable. But the result will be worth it.

[JudyKayTee]

It's easy to hide in your house in the beginning and then it becomes a habit. I know, I'm a widow.

You must get yourself up and out - you are the only one who can help yourself through this. Do you have a hobby? Is there anything that interests you? You can't rely on family and friends to get you through this. You have to pull yourself together and do it yourself.

I am so sorry for your loss - and, yes, that silence is terrible and deafening. I wish I had some wise and wonderful words - but there aren't any. It's up to you to get yourself in a better place.

[helpplease515]

First off let me say that I am very sorry. Sad things can happen to some one that completely does not deserve it. You seem like an amazing person though. Take Redheads advice. I don't think I could have come up with anything better.

[JudyKayTee]

first off let me say that i am very sorry. Sad things can happen to some one that completly does not deserve it. You seem like an amazing person though. Take Redheads advice. I don't think I could have come up with anything better.

I would not discount with Gemini said, either - only people who have experienced tragic loss can understand.