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acute · Apr 19, 2009, 06:15 AM

I feel so lonely.

I have friends, I don't feel lonely in a friendship sense. I feel absolutely lonely in a companionship sense. I can't watch romantic movies because they depress me so much.

I will not enter into a relationship just to suppress the lonliness.

I want to know what I can do to cope with this lonliness.

I have been single for 16 months.

nitelight198073 · Apr 19, 2009, 08:29 AM

Try to get out and meet people... go tto match .com or some other dating site... why has it been so long since in a relationship

redhed35 · Apr 19, 2009, 10:40 AM

Do you have a hobby,or a special interest?
Just mixing with like minded people can alleviate that feeling of isolation.

Writing is another creative way to relieve those feelings,no one has to read it,its just for you.

Exercise; can't beat a natural high,eat well,and try and keep a regular sleeping pattern.

Take time to reflect on yourself,and what's happening in your life.

Only you know what makes you happy,and only you can find that happiness and peace within.. in your search try and recongise the qualities you admire about yourself,you are never alone,you always have you.

If all else fails,there is always a shoulder and ear on AMHD.

Fuzzball_Kara · Apr 19, 2009, 10:53 AM

I second redhead's advice. Exercise does wonders. Especially when you do it with friends. Has there, perhaps, been a sudden withdrawl in any relationships? Have you lost anyone who used to give you a lot of attention or something? That may be why you feel empty, especially if something sudden happened

mudweiser · Apr 19, 2009, 11:03 AM

Your lonely in when it comes to romantic relationships.. huh.

The fact that you know that it has been 16 month since your last romantic relationship makes me think. I may be jumping to conclusions but, do you feel that you have to be in a relationship in order to be truly happy?

If that is the case then I believe there is an underlying issue. What is the reason that you don't like be alone, with yourself?

You could be as busy as a bee. Working out, volunteering, even socializing, but at the end of the day you lay in your bed alone. Is that the loneliness that bothers you? I've had friends that have had the best day but at the end of the night they cry because they feel incomplete without someone by their side.

If this is the case.. you need to see that a person doesn't make you, the only ones that have ever were your parents and that ends at that. Be comfortable with being alone with yourself- if you can't manage to be with yourself how could you manage to be with someone else?

Just a thought.

Sarah

taoplr · Apr 19, 2009, 11:17 AM

Being alone rather than settling for a relationship with a temporary placeholder is a courageous choice. It takes some work to cope with solitary existence.

Do you have a clear idea about the kind of companionship you want? Can you articulate what that looks like? Do you want help coping with being alone, or help connecting with new people who might include the right person for you?

Fuzzball_Kara · Apr 19, 2009, 11:40 AM

Though I got to say... It sounds pretty mature that you say you won't go headbutting into a relationship just because of this sudden feeling. I know too many girls who go to great ends to get guys when guys aren't going to make them complete. It just gives us women a bad name.. and those girls just end up getting hurt somehow.

Fr_Chuck · Apr 19, 2009, 12:05 PM

I am a firm believer you can never be happy in a relationship until you can be happy first by yourself, If happiness depends on another, you are controlled not in control.

acute · Apr 19, 2009, 09:52 PM

Thank you all for your responses.

I have not suddenly felt lonely. I have felt this way for 16 months since my last relationship ended. I was with my previous partner for 14 years.

I don't think 16 months is that long to be single.

I think the users that suggested that I need to be happy with myself if I am ever to be happy with someone else are on the right track. The hard part is dealing with the lonliness while I work on getting happy.

NallaNeedsYou · Apr 23, 2009, 05:35 AM

I would also go out and try something new. Exercise is great so for me I do dancing whenver I can. Loads of people to meet and enjoy spending time with. I think you need to ask yourself who it is that makes you you? And who it is that can reflect and improve yourself except from you? I think you have to get yourself ready, prepare and then take it head on. "I will work hard to stay positive and outgoing, I will not just curl up and wimper, I will not lower my standards and I will not stop till i feel better about myself" I think it takes grit and determination. But who ever said life was easy?

88sunflower · Apr 23, 2009, 06:27 AM

Hey acute my heart is with you. If you ever want to just email or chat I will be here for you outside this site. I agree with everyone, exercise is great. It makes you look great for starters, good energy booster and maybe a jog in the park could find you that special someone. Just face the feeling head on and get out and do things. Join groups. Not that a bar is a great place to meet someone, but why not just go relax and sip on a drink or soda and mingle. There are opportunities out there just focus and go. 14 years is a long time to be with someone and have it over. Can I ask why it ended?