[Semaj Martin]

My kids father & I have two children & have been going through a lot since our first son's birth with one another. We reconciled broke up... contrary! For the last two years he have been with this girl, whom I don't really care for (living a reckless life I might add), & he cut the relationship off in June of 09', with her & came back to his 'family'... the kids & I. We were together as a happy family so I thought. We were having sex, now things have changed. His mind wonders... I guess he's sitting thinking of her!

He told me that he is 'not' all the way here... meaning as a family due to the fact of our past! & that him & her are still fresh in their break up! I was so hurt & confused because he stated to me that we were concrete. He said that he doesn't know what is wrong with him but he still loves her & think that he still want to be with her & just be a 'baby-daddy'. He told me that he doesn't want me to take the kids out of his life that he will alway's love me as his kids mom. He stress the fact that he would consider 'counseling', to see if saving his family was the right thing to do... which he knows! I don't know if I'm being stupid waiting & seeing what counseling going to do, or should I just should let him go! Really I don't want to lose him, I love him so much! He moved out & went back to his moms house, whom doesn't approve of the girl in question. Every time we talk for some reason we end up talking about this same situation & I asked why? Move out & he stated that he didn't want to make no mistakes & that he have a lot of choices to make. I told him that I never stopped loving him even when we were apart, that I alway's wanted him. She has children, but they have been tooken' from her(by the state) no where to live & want half of him... his baby! That's crazy! I need help! HELP!

[talaniman]

Until you make a decision to stop him from treating you, and his kids in such a non-caring manner, he will never change. He is unstable, and your family will be unstable, as long as you put him above you and the kids.

Your love is keeping you on a dead end street. Be a better mom than that.

[Semaj Martin]

I was giving to great responses to my question, that I gratfully appreciate! Thanxx! But still so confused! My kids... I don't want to be another statistic! I don't want to do this thing by myself & I definitely don't want another man/woman help raising our children. I have a lot of morals & I refuse to settle for less, but it looks like I need to just... It hurts to say but I really know the truth. It feels as if I'm settling for less just being in my situation. I can't sleep nor am I eating healthy! I'm letting this get the best of me & I can't believe it because I have a strong persona & I'm also very confident! I don't know he has over me because reality is that I never really moved on with my life. It seems as if every guy that I have delt with never worked out... because of me! I'm apologectic! I feel like I lead them on trying to fulfill my void(selfish). I stuck in this warfare within myself! I'm going to pray & let God! Speak to me as well. {{{Thanks}}} fr ALL the advice & constructive critism! I truly am grateful & digested every word for word!

[Clough]

Hi, Semaj Martin!

It would be best if you would post what you did above on your other thread about this. If a person keeps starting new threads about the same subject, it only causes confusion here. This place doesn't work the same way that a chat room does. Most people posting on this, current thread, might not even be aware of the other thread that you started.

Thanks!

[I wish]

Please keep all questions regarding the same issue in the same thread so that we can follow your story.

It's not about doing things yourself. It's about acting in the best interest of your children. An unhealthy relationship with the father is NOT in the best interest of your children.

[blkdymd]

Hello,

I was /am in the same situation and I have been thinking the same things as you. I realize I wanted the wrong person in my life and I have to do better for my child. You are going through the steps of a break up and every time he makes promises t oyu and comes back, it will start all over again. So do yourself a favor and take sometime away from him. Take a deep breath and take it one day at a time. Because he sounds like he only thinks of himself and he will always do that. You arethe responsible/ loving one that deserves more. I understand the statistic factor but you didn't put yourself in that situation. He left and then came back because he knew you would let him. Stop the roller coaster, because yo uwill look back and see he is not worth all the pain you experienced and time you wasted. Look at your beautiful babies and smile.

[Gemini54]

This is not a healthy situation either for you or for your children.

You can't keep waiting for your husband to make up his mind about your marriage. He's already been away for 2 years, come back then moved out again.

He says that he has a lot of choices to make. Rubbish. That's just an excuse to keep you dangling, keep the bed warm and to take advantage of your love for him.

You are foolish if you believe that this man will make up his mind. Nothing in his previous behavior indicates that he has this capacity. He is a selfish pig.

You need to make up YOUR mind and get on with your life. This man may be the father of your 2 children, but he is not husband material. He's already told you this but you don't believe him.

Leave him to the other woman - she sounds just as stupid and thoughtless as he is.