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    catfrank2009's Avatar
    catfrank2009 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Oct 9, 2009, 03:56 PM
    Confused about boyfriend
    I broke up with this man 4 years ago. I called him up 3 months and we started dating again. I knew that we were having problems in that he kept leaving town. He said he wanted to take things slowly. Well he left and I didn't hear from him for 2 weeks I went by his house and left him a note saying hi I was worried. He called me and said I was too intense for him and I was suffocating him and he had meet someone else. So I hung up and cried for 2 days, well last weds he called up crying saying he loved me and he was scared of what we had. I said I was scared too. He wanted to go out to lunch Thurs my day off and I said OK. We spent a wonderful day everything was wonderful, we watch TV had s... laughed etc, he started to cry saying he loved me he cried so much he threw up. I knew then something was up. In the morning his sister called and he gave me the phone and I talked to her she was happy we were together. He took me to the bus and kissed me saying I will call you tonight. He didn't. He called sat morning saying... remember when I told you my ex needed my help? And I said yes, well I need to go stay with her and help her. It might take me a week or a month. I am not sure and I CAN'T CALL YOU. So I don't want you to freak out that I am not calling. He said she is sick. And she had a child from him that is deceased. So I haven't heard from him since and I know he is home and he didn't go live with her. So do you think he was telling me all that to get me into bed? Or does he really love me and just have commitment problems?
    TrueFaith's Avatar
    TrueFaith Posts: 1,202, Reputation: 313
    Ultra Member
     
    #2

    Oct 9, 2009, 04:36 PM

    WoW.. what kind of sick games are you guys playing with each other?
    my x needs help.. I need to go stay with her.. so I can't call you..
    oh he isn't even trying to lie!

    amazing :)

    This guy sounds like a User
    and you sound like a Puppy dog following him around and doing everything he says and asks

    Do you really want to be that person?
    I mean 90% of the people in this world would have.. just never dated him again. Or even given him a 2nd chance

    because I’m sure you guys broke up almost the same reason 4 years ago.

    You do know you should never move back in life.. always move forward.

    And oh my god.. How can you love someone and have commitment problems?
    it’s a double negative

    It’s like -Oh I love You JANE! So much- but yeah.. I can’t be with you.. because I’m scared.. let’s just have sex yeah.. because that’s.. Easy. And I don’t have to think or care about what you are feeling.. I am scared of Committing--

    No what he is scared of.. is being stuck
    and that’s not love.
    he just wants sex
    simple as that

    what’s that saying once bitten twice as shy?
    will it take 3 or 5 bites for you to start getting the message?

    Leave this scum where he belongs.
    not in your life.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #3

    Oct 9, 2009, 08:03 PM

    Whenever I see a couple who are wondering what's going on, I also see a couple who do not have honest expressions of their feelings, and that leads to assumptions and mistrust, and later, resentments, due to the lack of communications. Sex may be great, but the working together isn't working very well.

    This sometime relationship is not healthy, or very positive. Less sex more talking, or better yet leave each other alone and get healthy yourself.

    A guy who has to lie to get away from you, is not worth keeping.

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