[audrey19]

My ex boyfriend and I broke up 3 years ago and have had on and off contact since then. We broke up because he wanted to get married and I was too young and uncomfortable with the idea. We had a great relationship and I never understood why we broke up over that but nonetheless we didn't get back together because I felt he couldn't be with me unless I was going to marry him and I wasn't ready for that. I felt confused/angry that if he loved me enough to marry me why he wouldn't wait until I was ready, but I never communicated to him how the situation made me feel.

Last year we had a discussion about being friends and he said he couldn't be my friend unless he knew it was that and something more. I felt so sad that he didn't even want to be friends/or want me in his life without the ultimatum of marriage, so I deleted him from my Facebook because I wanted to move on. I reread his last letter to me and I realized I misunderstood what he was saying. He said in the letter that we should still be together even if I wasn't ready for marriage, but at the time I read it wrong and thought he meant he needed commitment from me because the wording was confusing. I contacted him a few days ago to re-add him as a friend on Facebook and wrote him a short message. He wrote back immeadiately and then told me he would be on later that night. I felt like he was showing off and talking about himself to try and impress me and he also remembered little things from our phone conversations three years ago. I had the feeling that he was still in love with me but at the same time there was a feeling of anger/resentment as well. I feel the same way... I love him, but I also have bad feelings and confusion about what happened between us and why in the world we ever broke up! It was such a ridiculous decision but neither of us said how we really felt at the time and I guess I felt pressured.

Here is the thing... we have been talking on Facebook for about three days and he would write to me every time I was online. We had great conversations and it almost felt like it did when we were dating. He even notified me once when he would be on later but then he didn't show up until an hour after he said he would. The last time we talked and he asked if I remembered our song, and when I said it he wrote "lol" And when I said it was a pretty song he said it sucks and its overplayed (I think that's anger, I'm sure he doesn't really mean that). So after that last conversation I told him I had to go and I would talk to him later and wrote 'hopefully' And I asked him what that means and he said 'hopefully in case nothing happens to either of us' and I just said goodnight. Ever since then he is not talking to me. Its only been two days but every time I'm online he won't say anything to me. I told myself I wasn't going to talk to him unless he talks to me first, but I finally gave in and wrote 'hey' and he went offline. I don't get what's going on. Everything was fine and he was excited to talk to me before that but now he's just ignoring me. He seemed like he still had feelings and when he wrote to me a year ago he said he could never find another girl like me and that I was perfect and beautiful and it bothered him that every relationship he had was nowhere near the one we shared. I feel the same way. What is going on and why is he suddenly ignoring me? I'm planning to not write to him for a week or maybe even not go on Facebook at all and if there is no response then I will write a letter explaining how I feel. Please let me know what you guys think why he is ignoring me all the sudden?
Thanks,
~Audrey

[neverme]

My ex boyfriend and I broke up 3 years ago

For god's sake your broken up 3 YEARS??????

I felt confused/angry that if he loved me enough to marry me why he wouldn't wait until I was ready, but I never communicated to him how the situation made me feel.

Well you lost communication, that will help!

Last year we had a discussion about being friends and he said he couldn't be my friend unless he knew it was that and something more.

Look around, NC works. He had been rejected, why would he want to be your friend??

I felt so sad that he didn't even want to be friends/or want me in his life without the ultimatum of marriage,

He never made an ultimatum about friendship, he made it about your relationship, and you chose, he has the right to choose what he does after this

I reread his last letter to me and I realized I misunderstood what he was saying. He said in the letter that we should still be together even if I wasn't ready for marriage, but at the time I read it wrong and thought he meant he needed commitment from me because the wording was confusing.

Look at that?! Not really an a**hole after all!

I contacted him a few days ago to re-add him as a friend on facebook and wrote him a short message.

And why, pray tell, did you feel the need to do that? Open old wounds maybe??

Please let me know what you guys think why he is ignoring me all the sudden??

I dunno, I really can't think of a thing. Maybe he's sick of the mixed signals. You won't marry him, but you'll be his friend. You won't talk to him for ages, then out of the blue, add him and start flirting with him...hmmm, gimme a while to think..

Sorry if this seems facetious but really take your head out of your a** and look at it from his point of view, he was probably heart broken.