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18jakes18 · Sep 22, 2009, 03:35 PM

I NEED MAJOR ADVICE either that or something seriously bad will come out of this. K I'm 18 and still in high school I'm a senior and have major problems with my parents controlling me I'm not allowed to sleep over houses on weekdays but I am allowed sometimes on weekends to sleep over places but I have to constantly call and check in or my dad thinks I'm smokin pot also they tell me who I can and can't hangout with or talk to I can't talk to one of my friends because she's to weird and fat as my dad said also if I do go with friends during the school week I get yelled at no matter what when I get home. I'm constantly being yelled at to clean the house while my dad sits on his all day long. For my 18th birthday they let me go out and drink which is really weird but they still treat me like I'm 10 when it comes to hangin out with friends. To my dad everyone's either a pot head or a drunk or a weirdo. Basically is it legaly okay for me to go hangout with friends when I want to or do I have to move out. I have tried talking to them and they just yell at me. They won't listen all I'm trying to ask them for is for them to trust me and let me try and live my life I am supposed to be in collage anyway. I feel like there keeping me from finding myself. Its really hard when I want to go hangout with friends and they yell at me like I'm 10 I need help before something physical comes from it

Alty · Sep 22, 2009, 03:53 PM

If you live under their roof, they provide shelter, food and an education, then you live by their rules.

If you want to live by your own rules then you move out.

Why are they so worried that you'll smoke pot? Have you done it before and been caught?

Also, at 18, why are you still in high school?

Trust is earned. I have a feeling that you lost their trust somewhere along the way and so far you haven't earned it back.

Parents are supposed to take care of their children. Sometimes that means making rules that their kids don't like but are necessary to keep them safe.

Concentrate on your education, then, when you can support yourself, move out and find yourself. Until then, you have to live by mom and dads rules.

Wondergirl · Sep 22, 2009, 04:06 PM

Now, tell us the real backstory. Start with why you are still in h.s. at age 18.

18jakes18 · Sep 23, 2009, 10:17 AM

Yes I have smoked before and don't plan to do it agaian anytime soon but I live on a reservation so everyone does it
And as for being 18 and in high school I got held back in 4th grade because in the teachers minds and my parents I was slow when in truth I am not slow at all.. still to this day when I ask why I got held back because I was passing they tell me that I couldn't do it on my own and I would have had trouble. Which is another reason me and my parents don't get along my dad likes to laugh at me with my brothers and sister and he tells them that I need a helmet.
After hearing this for so long it makes me want to cry
In fact my sister and dad both droped out of high school my dads a pot head with no job and so is my sister.. she has a baby girl who's almost 9 months with a guy who is younger than me and she is way older than me she just moved in with us
As for the losing there trust I never wanted my dads trust I really don't want anything to do with him he's self centerd and the main reason why I want freedom. I'm not a bad kid at all I just want them to know somehow that its okay to let me hangout with friends to be social its normal.. also my parents never raised a teenager at the age 13 my sister moved out and was living on her own I am nothing like my sister at all she used to be on so many different drugs she wouldn't listen to no one I'm not like here I have seen what happens
I don't want to move out I just want a little more freedom

HamHamper · Sep 28, 2009, 06:48 AM

Hooray to you for still being in school. Tell the earlier posters to mind their own business regarding why you are still in school at the age of 18. Lots of people are held back, many like yourself, were not even failing. If you are living at home, and still in High School, it's a normal rule for you to not be allowed to sleep over on week nights. Keep your cool, acting like an adult will help your parents treat you as an adult. Lots of people have jerky dads and parents who treat them like kids, even though they are on the verge of being independent. You will get through this. Make sure that you graduate, you will have many more choices later in life if you do. Have a planned answer when your Dad says something demeaning to you. Try, "Why do you try to make me feel bad? Does it make you feel better about yourself?" Take the sleep overs off the table for a while, push for some freedom during the days first.

18jakes18 · Sep 28, 2009, 10:01 AM

Thank you I think I actually get what your saying and it means a lot thanks

HamHamper · Sep 29, 2009, 07:23 AM

You are welcome. Don't let your Dad bring you down. Also, something else to think about. I went to college, and got great grades in school the whole way. My brother really struggled. My family considered holding him back a year. Instead, he attended summer school EVERY year just to help him keep up. He graduated high school with poor grades. He is now an electrician, and he makes more money than I do.

Looking back, in my own life, some of my hardest years were around the age of 20, when I was still living at home. It was hard to feel like an adult, but be treated like a child. When I got a job, and started paying my own way on some things, I was able to tell my parents to start butting out on my private life. I wish you the best of luck, and I know that you are going to go on to do some great things in your life, even if things seem bad now.