[give2me1lemons]

There's so many unnecessary roadblocks. So much wasted time. All anyone cares about it seems is money and getting there's. I hate it.

I don't know what to do, and everything seems impossible.

I mean, there are options, but each option involves a lot of risk.



All I care about is travelling. I don't care if I'm rich. I don't care if I ever marry. I don't care if I live past 50. I just want to see and experience as much as I can before I die.

option 1: Spend several months volunteering abroad and learning interesting and potentially useful skills.
risks: There is no guarantee of a job. Many positions, the best positions, still require a degree. The monetary expense is $7,000-$10,000. It is a long time to spend on a chance.
benefits: Experience and skills. The chance to live in another country and another culture for a considerable amount of time. Miracle providing, the chance to live and work abroad with a salary.

option 2: Return to college for a major in marine biology.
risk: Of the three colleges I am interested in, I only have a chance at one before I am twenty as it's past the application due date. It involves a lot of money/debt, pending financial aid, and potential rejection. I'd need recommendations when I've never been the most present student, though I always managed A's and B's and have a spotless record. I was always kind of in the background and have no extra curriculars. I'm horrible at math. I tried college once and had a near breakdown. I'm not a strong swimmer, the ocean and the unknown has always kind of frightened me. I've heard competition is fierce and jobs are scarce.
benefits: Assuming I got in, I'd be pursuing a major that, after six years of study, could lead to a career involving research, travel, and conservation abroad with a decent salary-assuming I can find work.

option 3: Join the Navy
risk: It's a huge commitment. I'm more of a pacifist. I'm not sure I have what it takes. I hate the industrialism of it (the cold, metal ships and planes).
benefits: I wouldn't have to wait. I'd receive full health coverage. I could earn tuition for college. I could travel all over the world, and on leave, I could travel at a reduced cost.

Can anyone help put this in perspective for me? I need to bounce ideas of people who will be objective. My parents are all for anything I decide, and my friends are obsessed with college. It just feels like time is running out to make a decision (big factor in my dropping out; the pressure). I know this should probably be in education or careers, but I am most familiar with this board and people who follow it know my history. If it gets moved, it gets moved.

*I know only I can make the decision. That's not what I am asking for-just information, advice, constructive criticism, personal experience. I'm trying so hard to find a path and not just ditch everything and hop the next bus to New York City. I probably shouldn't submit this, but..

[proudmom2]

You sound very mature for your age first off. I really feel you man. Weighing out all the options. You are an over thinker like me. Analyze it until you feel the pain. Am I right? I have to say. When I read your options... its sounds to me like you have already made your choice. Read your posting to yourself. I see the answer right out of your own words. Your only seeking some sort of... hummm... not approval, but validation. Validation that its okay to be the free spirit you want to be. My choice. Option 1. Don't be dumb and not plan as much as you can. Your young and your free. Enjoy it while you can. College, marriage and future children will still be available when your done. =D You only live once. You should enjoy it.

[give2me1lemons]

Yes, I frequently overanalyze. I do want to travel now, and the intership abroad is my favorite option. However, it isn't the most responsible option and has likely the least chance at a future/decent salary. If it fails, all my funds (funds I've yet to earn) will have been diminshed for essentially nothing, and I will be right back where I started.

The college option is my second choice in order of preference, probably. Except I just spent the weekend at my friend's college and still loathe dorm life, and most people my age rub me the wrong way. Then again, her school and mine are both huge party schools, so that could be part of the problem. The other part that bothers me about it is having to apply and face the potential for rejection again. I don't want to ask for recommendations because I think what most will remember about me, if they remember even a few months out, is my frequent absences. The money for college worries me, but lots of people manage the debt every year. Then I don't really know if I want to "go back" on my progress further by attending a college in a very rural setting (2,500 people) when the last one was in a decent city (28,000 people) and even my town/city has more people (8,000 people). However, it might be right for me because I'm not a people person however much I wish I was.

I can't make up my mind.
Thank you, though. What you said is very encouraging. I'm so tempted to follow your advice.

[proudmom2]

Well, keep in mind, your young. There is still time. If it looks like its not coming around as you wished or hoped for, stop and come back jump into college. Really, what is a year or two going to hurt? Do you want to look back later and say, damn I really wish I had gone. Seriously, what is it you want to do for a living? What are you going to go to college for? Maybe you can do something that will broaden your horizons in the same manner. There are so many options out there. Don't bog your mind down to one. The one thing I hate in life is being tied to one idea or possibility. I don't know what makes you think you can't come back to college later. It is NOT irresponsible to want to enjoy your life. Who are you hurting. Your not married and settled with kids. This is your life man, live it while you can. Your young. Time is in your favor. Look, I dropped out of college because I had medical issues that made having children a serious time limit. I had my babies and I DON'T regret it. Yes I wish I had finished college, yes I would be much better off financially if I had, but... I have my kids that I wanted more than anything... and guess what? I'm a 34 yr old single mom with 2 kids... not exactly in the plan book but I can still go back to college if I chose to. Don't try and pre write your book. Life is unwritten. Write it as you go and keep a positive open mind. Live your dreams and be happy. YOu said yourself you didn't care if you became rich, you just want to survive. There will be colleges everywhere when you get back. If you decide to go... send me a post card from some far away place! ;)

[give2me1lemons]

You're right. It's my life and I should live it while I'm young and free of major responsibilities. Thank you for that.

I'm thinking I will apply to the college and keep my options open. I may not even get accepted, so who knows. In the mean time, work and save money. It would be nice if I could buy a cheap but nice on mileage car as well. Then I could maybe go to the college (provided I get in) and do one or two smaller trips before the semester OR not go to college and do an internship OR not go to college and do several small trips.

There are many options. I just feel like there are time (and financial, but that can be solved.. with time) constraints in life so choosing a decision is kind of like choosing a destiny. Kind of like Robert Frost's "The Road Not Taken".

The Road Not Taken


TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth; 5

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same, 10

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back. 15

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

1. The Road Not Taken. Frost, Robert. 1920. Mountain Interval