[Lashercelt]

Hi. My son will be 16 in a few weeks. (9th grade) We communicate fairly well and he recently told me that he put his hand down a girls pants and she did the same to him. I am not sure where to go from here. We talked about sex, STD's, condoms, pregnancy and personal responsibility.. but? I am NOT ready for this. I have a daughter who is almost 13 and she won't talk to me about any of this. Normally I have to tell her, "ok you don't have to respond, but stop texting and let me say what I need to"..

Where do I go from here? How do I slow down this speeding train? Can I?
Any suggestions are appreciated.

[N0help4u]

Warn him about girls who get pregnant because they want a baby and then the guy is stuck paying 18 yrs worth of child support.

[flayvur]

Keep him open to talk to you don't shut him up. Talk to him about reproduction it take two people to create a child not one. Sex was not meant to be a bad thing , but when you engage in it with out any rules it becomes dangerous. Tell him he should wait until he's married but if he doesn't he needs to protect himself. Sex can be beautiful but it can also be a nightmare. Take him to the clinic and let them talk to him also,they'll provide him with condoms or whatever else he may need. Sex can be beautiful when it's shared with someone you love and are considering to make a life with but when it's done only considering selfish reasons like trying to satisfy self that's when it becomes destructive. When your having sex only to satisfy self , you'll have it with anybody that's available, and when I say anybody I mean any BODY. IF HE PUTS HIMSELF IN ADULT SITUATIONS HE'LL BE FACED WITH ADULT PROBLEMS.

[simoneaugie]

That's good that your son felt comfortable sharing what happened with you. If he has been educated about sex= babies/diseases and knows that his early experimentation made you nervous, and why, there is not a lot you can do short of chaining him up in the cellar. (Joke)

Your daughter does not feel comfortable talking with you about serious issues? If it were me, I'd take the object she texts with away, have her sit across the table from me and tell me what she knows about sex. You are paying for her to have a cell phone right? That makes it yours. If she wants to use it, she must respect you.

[Lashercelt]

I'm trying really hard not to over react because I don't want to scare him off to where he is afraid to tell me things. BUT this really is scary to me. I have always been very open about such issues and I want to keep it that way. He knows I don't approve of the behavior, but as you suggested.. I can't chain him up in the cellar. HA! I told him that if he thinks he is ready to start down that path he needs to be prepared for whatever may come with it. His doctor told him he could contract HPV by touching her vagina then touching his penis. THAT freaked him out! (thank you dr).. I went so far as to ask him how he would feel if a condom broke and he got someone pregnant and she decided to abort his child or make it impossible to see it or possibly raise it in an unsuitable environment? I asked him, "What if you mess around and her parents find out and she is afraid or ashamed of what she did so she acts as though you forced it on her?".. I asked him how he'd feel one day with the woman he loves and wants to marry if he can't have sex with her without a condom because he screwed around as a kid and got HPV or Herpes or worse.. I am going from every angle I can think of. UGH!
I do like the child support one as my son is already a penny pincher. (with his money).. >thanks<
I hadn't thought to take him to a clinic and let them talk with him. That is fantastic and I will look into that this week. Thanks to all of you.

Oh yeah, my daughter?. I am limiting her texts. It has taken over. It's odd how these kids prefer texting over calling one another.

[flayvur]

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You know the real reason why they preferr texting is we can't hear or see their conversation. This is something totally new with this generation they've found a way to totally exclude us from their communication with their friends or should I say associates. They also use it to cheat in class. Take control now before it's to late. Show her that you're the boss. I have a daughter who is twenty, when she was around 14 I had cable TV and everyday I would come home she would be dancing or dressing like the video girls. I saw how this was influencing her so I canceled the service. I couldn't monitor her with it. She was really upset, she said mom were the only ones on the block who doesn't have cable. I said so what you'll live. End of conversation.