[giuseppeverdi]

My wife and I are separated and she has two of the kids, which are 9 and 6 years of age. She has left them home before and the time frames are unknown, but this past week my 6 year old called me at work and my wife was not there. I got the call at 9 pm and she didn't get back home until a little past 1 am. They did have contact with her via cell, but we're talking 4 hours (that I know of). Who should I contact in a case like this?

[ResearchLover]

Department of child services, or department of children and family services. DCS or DCFS in most states AFTER THE POLICE ARE CALLED DURING THE TIME OF THE INCIDENT.

They have guidelines, if they are not met, it will be looked into---however the call should be made while the mother is away to the police so that there is a "witness" and a "report". Just you calling does no good, it looks like a 'mad person getting back at someone".
Then get a copy of the report and call dcfs and ask them to follow up---or tell them to check with the police for the report.

[cdad]

my wife and i are separated and she has two of the kids, which are 9 and 6 years of age. She has left them home before and the time frames are unknown, but this past week my 6 year old called me at work and my wife was not there. I got the call at 9 pm and she didn't get back home until a little past 1 am. They did have contact with her via cell, but we're talking 4 hours (that i know of). Who should i contact in a case like this?

What state are you in ? Many states do not have a minimum age limit for a child to be left home alone. The reason being its more of a descretion thing. So there may not be any laws being broken.

[ScottGem]

9 and 6 are kind of borderline. The 9 yr old may be capable of taking care of the 6 yr old. But to leave a 6 yr old without adult supervision would generally be considered child abandonment. Calling your local family services agency or the police is the right course of action.

[kjallits]

Leaving a 9 year old kid in the car just to go pay for the gas at a gas station is considered child abandonment in the state of Illinois, even if it was for five minutes and you were in full view of the child. The police is 100% sure to get involved, and within 24 hours later, you'll get the DCFS pounding on your door. Leaving a 9 year old along with another younger child is illegal as a child that young cannot babysit another. It is also illegal in Illinois to leave a baby napping in the crib in the house while you go smoke outside on the porch. Trust me, I've seen people being busted for that. Call the DCFS and just ask for a guideline, and then ask when it would be considered neglect/child abandonment. Once you're sure, call the hotline and the police.

[ScottGem]

Leaving a 9 year old kid in the car just to go pay for the gas at a gas station is considered child abandonment in the state of Illinois, even if it was for five minutes and you were in full view of the child. The police is 100% sure to get involved, and within 24 hours later, you'll get the DCFS pounding on your door. Leaving a 9 year old along with another younger child is illegal as a child that young cannot babysit another. It is also illegal in Illinois to leave a baby napping in the crib in the house while you go smoke outside on the porch. Trust me, I've seen people being busted for that. Call the DCFS and just ask for a guideline, and then ask when it would be considered neglect/child abandonment. Once you're sure, call the hotline and the police.

Can you cite the statutes that support this. I did find this statute:
Illinois Criminal Code of 1961 - 720 ILCS 5, Section 12-21.5 - Illinois Attorney Resources - Illinois Laws

But that refers to a 24 hour period, not 5 minutes. It also does not cover a situation where the car is within sight of the parent.

[cdad]

Can you cite the statutes that support this. I did find this statute:
Illinois Criminal Code of 1961 - 720 ILCS 5, Section 12-21.5 - Illinois Attorney Resources - Illinois Laws

But that refers to a 24 hour period, not 5 minutes. It also does not cover a situation where the car is within sight of the parent.

And I can guess from all the ones we get here screaming abandonment they never read this far.

" Child abandonment is a Class 4 felony. A second or subsequent offense after a prior conviction is a Class 3 felony. "

It's a wonder how so many can abuse a word so bad.

[giuseppeverdi]

:confused:My wife and I are in the middle of a divorce. We have 3 kids together and one of my kids is actually my stepchild. I live in Florida and was wondering if someone could help me out. My stepdaughter is 11 and I’ve been in her life since she was about 7 months, so naturally she always wanted my last name, and I always wanted her to have my name but sad to say I never really fully trusted my wife. And since we’ve split she has put me on child support for one of my kids out of anger. So you may be able to see why the trust was not 100%. She recently asked me if I was going to change my stepdaughter’s last name to my last name. But my question is can I be put on child support by my wife for my stepdaughter if her last name is changed to my name?

[JudyKayTee]

:confused:My wife and I are in the middle of a divorce. We have 3 kids together and one of my kids is actually my stepchild. I live in Florida and was wondering if someone could help me out. My stepdaughter is 11 and I’ve been in her life since she was about 7 months, so naturally she always wanted my last name, and I always wanted her to have my name but sad to say I never really fully trusted my wife. And since we’ve split she has put me on child support for one of my kids out of anger. So you may be able to see why the trust was not 100%. She recently asked me if I was going to change my stepdaughter’s last name to my last name. But my question is can I be put on child support by my wife for my stepdaughter if her last name is changed to my name?

As far as your natural children - I don't understand how trusting your wife and supporting your kids are connected to each other.

And, no, I don't see why the trust was not 100%. Fathers SHOULD support their children. Has nothing to do with trust.

Did you adopt the child? Your wife should look to the natural father for support. There have been questions similar to this in some States where the stepfather (without adoption) was ordered to pay support for the child.

What State?

You need an Attorney - why, in the middle of a divorce, would you consider changing this child's last name, particularly if this is the child you do not want to support?

[giuseppeverdi]

Judy Kaytee seems bitter about something??

[s_cianci]

You are not legally responsible for supporting your stepdaughter. You are of course responsible for supporting your other 3 children. I'm a little curious how your soon-to-be ex put you on child support for "one" of your kids but not the other 2 (unless the one is with her and the other 2 are with you.) Now about your stepdaughter's last name, she may elect to use your last name if she desires. That in and of itself doesn't obligate you to provide support for her. The only way to legally change her last name to yours would be if you were to adopt her. And if you did, then you'd be responsible for supporting her.

[JudyKayTee]

Judy Kaytee seems bitter about something???

No, I just don't understand a father who considers a request that he support his children to be a trust issue.

If you want legal advice, please answer my questions.

And if you continue in this vein, I don't expect to see you around here for very long.

[JudyKayTee]

You are not legally responsible for supporting your stepdaughter. You are of course responsible for supporting your other 3 children. I'm a little curious how your soon-to-be ex put you on child support for "one" of your kids but not the other 2 (unless the one is with her and the other 2 are with you.) Now about your stepdaughter's last name, she may elect to use your last name if she desires. That in and of itself doesn't obligate you to provide support for her. The only way to legally change her last name to yours would be if you were to adopt her. And if you did, then you'd be responsible for supporting her.

Sorry, but you are not legally correct. The obligation to support varies from State to State and depends on circumstances. This has been asked and answered before. To quote GV 70 (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family...#post2000308):

"... The court may hold that because he acted like a parent and permitted the child to rely upon him -- even though he was legally a "stranger" to the child.- he adopted the biological or "real" parent's duty.
According to s.c.”Estoppel theory” if he promised to support the child in question and interferred in child's and father's relationship, he will be obligated to continue his support after divorce.
The doctrine may apply when each of three elements exists: (1) an actual or implied representation which induces conduct or forbearance of another; (2) an act or omission by another, in reliance on that representation; and, (3) resulting detriment to the relying party.

The triggering representation occurs when a stepparen voluntarily promises to provide economically for a child to whom that person owes no legal duty of support; and/or he does so, in fact.
The relying party's conduct, or failure to act, consists of either releasing the other legal parent from his support obligation, or of failing to pursue a non-paying obligor; either at the request of the volunteer payor, or because the need to do so is eliminated by the voluntary support.

ALI principles divсde parents as legal parents and parents by estoppel. It is possible support obligations to be imposed under this estoppel theory:
1 whether the person and the child act toward each other as parent and child and, if so, the duration and strength of that behavior;
2 whether the parental undertaking of the person supplanted the child's opportunity to develop a relationship with an absent parent and to look to that parent for support;
3 whether the child otherwise has two parents who owe the child a duty of support and are able and available to provide support; and
4 any other facts that may relate to the equity of imposing a parental support duty on the person."

This is a good and reputable site. National Stepfamily Resource Center

If you have research to the contrary, please post it.

[this8384]

I'm starting to wonder if this question isn't monetary-driven:
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family...ld-405094.html

He doesn't think he should have to pay child support if he isn't divorced yet. I wonder if he's looking for grounds to get the children just so that he doesn't have to pay support, period.

[s_cianci]

Sorry, but you are not legally correct. The obligation to support varies from State to State and depends on circumstances. This has been asked and answered before. To quote GV 70 (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family...#post2000308):

"... The court may hold that because he acted like a parent and permitted the child to rely upon him -- even though he was legally a "stranger" to the child.- he adopted the biological or "real" parent's duty.
According to s.c.”Estoppel theory” if he promised to support the child in question and interfered in child’s and father’s relationship, he will be obligated to continue his support after divorce.
The doctrine may apply when each of three elements exists: (1) an actual or implied representation which induces conduct or forbearance of another; (2) an act or omission by another, in reliance on that representation; and, (3) resulting detriment to the relying party.

The triggering representation occurs when a stepparent voluntarily promises to provide economically for a child to whom that person owes no legal duty of support; and/or he does so, in fact.
The relying party's conduct, or failure to act, consists of either releasing the other legal parent from his support obligation, or of failing to pursue a non-paying obligor; either at the request of the volunteer payor, or because the need to do so is eliminated by the voluntary support.

ALI principles divсde parents as legal parents and parents by estoppel. It is possible support obligations to be imposed under this estoppel theory:
1 whether the person and the child act toward each other as parent and child and, if so, the duration and strength of that behavior;
2 whether the parental undertaking of the person supplanted the child's opportunity to develop a relationship with an absent parent and to look to that parent for support;
3 whether the child otherwise has two parents who owe the child a duty of support and are able and available to provide support; and
4 any other facts that may relate to the equity of imposing a parental support duty on the person."

This is a good and reputable site. National Stepfamily Resource Center

If you have research to the contrary, please post it.

Thanks for the info, and the link.

[JudyKayTee]

Thanks for the info, and the link.

"GV" is the one who found it - he does great research, amazing research. Some of what he finds flies in the face of everything that makes sense but he does know the law!

[s_cianci]

I'm starting to wonder if this question isn't monetary-driven:
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family...ld-405094.html

He doesn't think he should have to pay child support if he isn't divorced yet. I wonder if he's looking for grounds to get the children just so that he doesn't have to pay support, period.

Good catch. This poster is questioning child support for 3, possibly 4 children. As it is, there seem to be some irregularities in the info he's provided. Bottom line is, he's not going to get out of supporting his kids, period, regardless of what he "proves" about the mother, etc.

[giuseppeverdi]

s_cianci I'm in Florida and we have 3 kids together. We both had 1 child a piece going into the relationship, and we had 1 child together. And Judy my kids are taken care of. Different people in different environments do different things. I know how people should act, but it's never that simple, is it? I really loved my wife and would have done anything for her. But you pick up on certain things when you're in relationships over a period. We had a great relationship at one time, but something changed about 7 years ago. When a woman starts joking about alimony and child support it raises red flags. Especially when this person is easily influenced by others. . And there's much more to it but I'll save that for another time. There are 2 sides to every story but unfortunately you can only get one today lol. I could go on for hours about my situation but I won't. I would like to thank s_cianci and Judy for their help. Thanks guys!

[JudyKayTee]

s_cianci I'm in Florida and we have 3 kids together. We both had 1 child a piece going into the relationship, and we had 1 child together. And Judy my kids are taken care of. Different people in different environments do different things. I know how people should act, but it's never that simple, is it? I really loved my wife and would have done anything for her. But you pick up on certain things when you're in relationships over a period of time. We had a great relationship at one time, but something changed about 7 years ago. When a woman starts joking about alimony and child support it raises red flags. Especially when this person is easily influenced by others. . And there's much more to it but I'll save that for another time. There are 2 sides to every story but unfortunately you can only get one today lol. I could go on for hours about my situation but I won't. I would like to thank s_cianci and Judy for their help. Thanks guys!

You are on the legal board - you asked a legal question concerning child support. The rest of this is part of a relationship board.

As far as your kids being taken care of - that's not the legal issue. Taken care of or not the custodial parent is entitled to petition for and obtain an Order of Support.

Two sides or not don't matter - you have a legal obligation to support these children. That's the law.

You seem to think I'm insensitive or touchy on the subject - I'm not BUT I will say that I was divorced some years ago, later remarried. I know about relationships going bad and I will say I had a part in it. He wasn't the awful person and I was the good person - it takes two people.

And, again, as far as why your relationship ended the way it did, that's a question for another board.

[giuseppeverdi]

Okay Judy! I'm new to this site and I clicked on the subject of interest. I didn't know it was that serious. If I offended anyone, I sincerely apologize, and thank you again.