[bill83]

I have know a girl for 10 years. We first met because she was dating a friend of mine. When we first met she started to casually flirt with me. For example she would demand a hug or kiss me. I always thought she was interested in me. Flash forward to years later we have gotten closer and eventually when I would see her we would mess around. She once told me she had always liked me. So I knew the flirting had some meaning behind it. She then hooked up with my other best friend and said a part of it was because he reminded her of me. They didn't work out and I was mad at both of them. Flash forward a few more years and we continued to casually hook up when we would see each other. We are very far from each other so we didn't get the opportunity to see each other very often. We built our relationship on a telephone and grew attached to one another. She would send me pics of herself if I woulded ask for it or would randomly keep sending me. Some of these pics were of her in a bikini or just head shots. Back in the day she would send me nude pictures, but that was when she was seeing my other friend and when she admitted she had a thing for me.

She never lets me go. We get into huge arguments and we both are usually like I am never going to talk to you. We always end up talking to each other again.

Anyway I just recently moved closer to her because of the job market. I stayed at her place and she was just always upset with me. For example the type of job I was looking for, she called me superficial when I made a comment about her having freckles of all things (she asked me if she had a lot and I agreed) and told me she was worried about me. She also keeps thinking I am mean to her and don't respect her because I stayed at her place and didn't give her a gift or a thank you card. I have never done that in the past and usually just leave it at thank you. Anyway, I finally asked her if she like has feelings for me. She said no she could never date me because of the way I am. I said why do you continue to flirt and she said its no big deal to her. So 10 years of sending pics, she saying I would probably leave any girl for her and straight up always wanting to see me didn't mean anything to her. As she said we are just friends and she said sorry that she flirts with me. Also all those years of hooking up was just hooking up nothing more.

So the question is am I just a friend, a random hook up buddy, or a friend she just flirts with? I have no idea anymore. I care about her a lot, but it seems she has some issues with me. To me it feels she honestly cares about me and would date me but I am missing something. We argue a lot, but we always come back to each other. :confused:

[starlite1]

Hi Bill,

Welcome to AMHD! Honestly it sounds like she is very immature and just wants you as a friend with benefits, nothing more. I would not put anymore time or effort into this if I were you, because you deserve better than this. You like her more than a friend, but it is apparent that she doesn't know what she wants. My advise is to move on from this girl, and find someone who will appreciate you and your love.

[jmooney527]

Agreed. Telling you she hooks up with your friends because they remind her of you? Please that's so manipulative... and a lie. She doesn't sound like a very nice person... she sounds immature and selfish, and apparently she likes drama. Causing a fight because you didn't give her a thank you card for her letting you stay at her place? It sounds like she's playing with you and your emotions. It might be hard, but stay away from her. If you really like this girl, she needs to work on her own issues before pursuing a relationship of any sort. Keeping your distance from her will not only help you but it will help her as well... try to remind yourself of this when you're thinking of calling/texting her. Best of Luck!

[liz28]

It sounds like she is likes playing with games with you.

However, why would you want someone that already been with two of your friends? Also, what type of friend are you if were accepting and keeping naked photos of her while she was with your friend?

There aren't any other girls in your town for you to stay focus on this one? Your going after slopping thirds. I guess the saying is true "it aint no fun if my homie can't have done".

I guess you like these games because of your feelings you think you have for her.

[talaniman]

Flash forward to years later we have gotten closer and eventually when I would see her we would mess around.

You have allowed this BS, for 10 years?

That's sick. Break this off cleanly, and stop all contact whatsoever.

Your asking for more of the same BS, if you don't.

[Romefalls19]

Agree with Tal, 10 years and she still behaves like this? You need to cut it off now, before you hinder your emotional growth even more