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misconception · May 16, 2009, 12:12 PM

Well me and my boyfriend have been together for some time. We're quite open with everything because we believe that if we're honest with each other and communicate, that's the main key to a relationship. I'm 17 and I am a virgin but me and my boyfriend engage in foreplay My boyfriend isn't a virgin and he understands that I want to wait for sex but every time we touch each other(foreplay) I have a little urge to want to have sex be really I don't. Its like thoughts but I know deeply that I'm not ready for sex. My question is, is its normal and/or OK for me and my boyfriend to engage in foreplay in our relationship?

letmetellu · May 16, 2009, 01:13 PM

I think in this day and age is it OK for you two to have foreplay. But be very careful there have been cases where the girl got pregnant and did not have intercourse. So be smart.

ordinaryguy · May 16, 2009, 01:14 PM

Originally Posted by misconception;

My question is, is its normal and/or ok for me and my bf to engage in foreplay in our relationship?

As a statistical question, what you're doing is probably "normal" for seventeen year olds. Whether it's "OK" to be doing it is another matter entirely. It depends on your own personal values and your level of maturity. Only you know whether it's "OK" or not. If you feel the need to ask, I'm guessing it probably isn't.

Fr_Chuck · May 16, 2009, 01:46 PM

Since this behavior normally leads to sex, at some point and time, you give in to that feeling.

1. are you on birth control
2. is the boy ready to support you and a baby
3. are you ready to be a mother

If you can not say yes to those, then perhaps you need to not put yourself into a situation where it could happen

ScottGem · May 16, 2009, 01:57 PM

I am very much on a fence here in answering this question. On the one hand, it takes a lot of will power to stop at foreplay. On the other hand, it takes even more willpower to be totally chaste.

I keep saying that NO ONE should engage in sexual intercourse until they are physically, financially and emotionally prepared to have a child. But notice the emphasis on intercourse. With the way sex is bombarded on our psyche by the media. I'm not sure its realistic for us to expect young people to totally abstain from any sexual activity. And I would rather have them be intimate and give pleasure to their partners by means other than intercourse.

So while I don't condone sexual activity between non adults or young adults, I don't think it's a terrible thing to engage in some intimacy as long as it doesn't go too far.

DoulaLC · May 16, 2009, 02:11 PM

If you aren't ready for it to lead to more, you will have to make sure that is perfectly clear to him, and be very aware of your limits yourself... but as has been said... it can sometimes be difficult to not let it go too far even with good intentions.

How long would he be willing to wait, especially since he has had sex before, without applying some subtle pressure to see if you will go just a little bit farther? Depending on what sort of foreplay you are experiencing, in some situations pregnancy can still be a result without actual intercourse.

If you are having to ask, it may be a sign that you are going farther than you are truly comfortable with already and you may want to give some consideration to that.

HrvSavag3r · May 23, 2009, 06:29 AM

How long have you been dating?
And I think forplay is fun at an age of where you understand what your doing:)