[ffwolf]

Girlfriend wanted a break/ breakup one month ago on valentines...

We had been fighting a lot the last few months. We got in a huge argument the night before about her job. I said some mean things which I immediately regretted. So I went over the next day and we talked. She told me how much I hurt her with what I said and she had thought about breaking up before. I apologized and told her how sorry I was and how words could never fix my dumb thoughts. She kept saying how confused she was and didn't know if she wanted to stay together. I was crying really hard, which I don't do, haha, and she was crying too . She leaned forward and put her hand on my knee telling me she needed comforting too, just by touching me. She says we fight in cycles, which we do, and dosen't know how to stop it. She finally whispered she wanted to breakup. She also kept saying she wished she could go talk to her counselor. She asked me for a hug, but I couldn't. She asked if I wanted my things, but I could barely walk. She watched me as I left. As I left she said I can come over and to her again.? The next day like a moron, I wrote her an email saying very nicely that I truly regretted what I said . Very short and nice. She sent me back a tough email, saying we shouldn't talk right now and we need time apart for clarity. She then said we "can talk again" I just need time. She ended it of course saying I could pick up my things. But then she said she was sorry for the pain she caused me, and that she was extremely painful for her. She said to take care of myself and my son and be safe. I finished my email with love, and she just wrote her name. Here is the dumb part... we went to her counselor the week before and it really helped to talk. I hate counselors but she was really good. So I decided I would go get a reference from her on who I could go talk to on some stuff. This is one hr from my home. As I was pulling out of parking lot, she was pulling in when she should have been at work. I just kept driving and left. She never called to ask if it was me, but I think she saw me. I also just found out from a friend she is going to vegas with her friends in next , a trip we were going to take soon. I am so hurt. I have been going to counseling and reading books on how to date a female cop. I am really trying. I sent her an email on all the things I want to change and she sent this reply,, I read your email and I feel that it was very genuine and that you are starting to realize some of the issues we had. I think it is great that you are talking to someone and learning more about yourself. I am not ready to talk yet I still need time to figure things out. I think its good that we are both working on ourselves apart. I don't know what will happen in the future, I can't make any promises. Being on your own will give you strength that you may not realize you have in you. I know you are hurting, because I am to. We can never break the negative cycle until we grow more as individuals. One of my favorite books has a quote I love, "The true profession of man is to find his way to himself." Think of it like a journey were you will learn understanding and self awareness. Stay safe, and keep your head up. I then sent her flowers on her birthday 2 weeks ago... she sent.. I got the flowers they are beautiful and they smell great. I put them on the dining room table. I am working all day today. I am supposed to do two or three buy bust today. I am a little nervous, hopefully I can get the girls to flip and get a little higher up on the dope scale. I hope things are okay with you, and I hope Brett is good. Take care-meg and I sent this after my last counseling yesterday... I just wanted you to know how I realize how immature it was for me to try to make you jealous about other girls. It was childish and I apologize. I honestly never, ever had thoughts about anyone but you. I spent a hour just on this subject yesterday. I know this is only one subject matter, but I wanted you to know how bad I was hurting after TRULY realizing how terrible the things I said hurt you. Our anniversary is st pattys day. I know she has plans with her friend. And I know she is going to vegas next weekend..
I ordered flowers today to get sent st pattys day morning. Any thought would be greatly appreciated... I am so hopeful she will want to talk!

[chuff]

Good God, enough with the flowers.

I would not send the flowers. Probably to late to cancel as it is 11:30 at night here in Florida, but if you can cancel first thing in the morning make that happen. You look so weak sending flowers every two weeks. You look like you are trying to buy her love... and that is exactly what you are trying to do. How did it work two weeks ago? Oh it didn't, so why is doubling up on a losing idea going to work this time?

This woman has zero attraction for you. She has literally no interest. At this point you need to quit talking to her, because every time you send her something new it comes off very insecure, and a woman does not want a insecure guy.

[30018354]

Bro, I feel your pain and I understand that you are willing to do whatever you have to do. I'm kind of going through the same thing that you are and man I'm really sorry I know how bad you feel, I really think that maybe you should do what I have figured out is best pray that God will have it work out the way he plans your life, and to guide you in the correct direction.

[heartbroke]

I went through this, and I am still going through this pain. I got the same bull responses as you did, and I tried to get her back , all it does is push her away. If I were you I would stop talking to her. She will either come back or not. The space you give her may very well show her that she misses you or doesn't want you anymore. Its sad to say but I was there and this sounds like its over. Don't send anymore flowers, it does nothing. Flowers die in a week and get tossed.

[none12345]

Dude I think that you need some space from her right now so try not to contact her at all and sort out your feelings. One thing I have learned was that you can't convince anyone to come back and you can only push them away further. If they want to come back, they will.

Flowers? Maybe if you were to keep feeling the urge to send her flowers maybe try something creative? Send her lots of flowers along with a fake one and tell her your love for her will die when the last flower dies. Which basically mean the fake one won't die so your love for her will go on? Wutcha think neh?

I know it hurts a lot but once after having a while without contacting her you might see things differently as if you don't need her anymore and maybe you ll see its time to let go and give your love to someone more deserving?

Try using paragraphs its easier to read. Good luck and hope it helps!

[heartbroke]

Don't waste your money on flowers buy something for yourself

[ffwolf]

Yeah the 2 flowers in a month was a lot, but if I let both occasions go by with no mention I really run the chance of losing her. There is nothing else coming up so I don't have a choice but to wait.

I don't know if she totally blew me off. 3 times she said she wanted to talk again... we'll see in about an hr.

[Romefalls19]

The flowers was not a good move, she said she wanted time and you are still not respecting her wishes. She said you shouldn't talk right now and you start sending e-mails to her. You have already pushed her too far away, go no contact and then heal. Leave her alone and worry about getting your own life in order, and get your issues taken care of.

[chuff]

Did you cancel this morning? She's going to think you're a fool for sending her flowers again. It looks like your begging... because, well you are begging.

[chuff]

yeah the 2 flowers in a month was alot,

Twice too much. Why would you reward her behavior?

but if i let both occasions go by with no mention i really run the chance of losing her.

What the hell are you talking about? You already lost her. Do you think a woman is going to change her mind because you start begging?

there is nothing else coming up so i dont have a choice but to wait.

?? Nothing is coming up? Are you telling us you are sitting around and waiting on her decision, and hoping for some holiday to buy her off? That is a formula for failure. She's already dropped you, so now it's up to you to man up and leave this situation.

i dont know if she totally blew me off.

Really? Because she did. She just doesn't want to be mean to you.

3 times she said she wanted to talk again...we'll see in about an hr.

By telling you that she'll talk again it keeps you waiting around like a puppy. That would never work though, would it? Oh wait.

Come on, this is clearly over, drop the gifts, build up your own confidence and don't put yourself through this anymore.

[Romefalls19]

I think what Chuff was trying to say is "pick you b@lls up and move on"

[talaniman]

Listen to these guys and do what your g/f is doing, having a great time with her friends. You do have friends, and hobbies, don't you?

[heartbroke]

Ya don't pull a Chris Brown either lol