[VAN5090]

Im dating a 27 year old Guy that used to do heroin. He was doing great went back to collage until one of his old buddies came back in town and his buddy does crack. Just a couple of days ago he my boyfriend was arresested for possession of less the $10.00 of Crack I was shocked :eek:because he was always asking me for money and he lied to me about going to school that day of his arrest . I have two daughters and Im divorced 22 years old and I fell in love with this man ! Will a heroin addict ever leave the addiction behined?:(

[NeedKarma]

I'm issing something here, what part makes him a good catch?

[VAN5090]

We get along great Hes a very sweet person but He has a terrible criminal record of theft and drug possession. I suspected his friend because My boyfriend started changing when his friend came back in town.

[kctiger]

I would be getting myself and my daughters away from this guy... pronto, I don't care how "sweet" he is or how "great" we get along.

[NeedKarma]

Y'know, there are a lot of sweet people that don't have terrible criminal records or do hard drugs.

[VAN5090]

I've heard this phrase "once a Heroin addict always a heroin addict" Its so hard to just leave him but I will think about the babies. Thanks

[Romefalls19]

Leave, for your own good. My fiancé was married to a heroin addict and he always said he was going to change or that he was done with drugs and he wasn't. He went to rehab numerous times, just recently completed this past December but since we don't talk to him other than about the two girls we don't know how he's been.

I wouldn't chance it with your kids around him.

[slapshot_oi]

Junkies have some of the worst lives 'cause they brought it on themselves.

In Naked Lunch, Burroughs wrote, "Junk is quantitative and accurately measurable. The more junk you use the less you have and the more you have the more you use." He was using junk for over fifteen years.

It's near impossible to kick it and most of them go to methadone clinics, sometimes for life.

Keep in mind when Junkies need it, they'll do whatever they can to get it. They'll lie, cheat, steal from their own mother. It's a sickness, we'd all do it if were in dire need of something.

So no, he won't drop the needle, not in the time you're willing to wait

[VAN5090]

He lived at home with his mother and he's currently in jail for possession of crack . His mother hired an attorney because he's on probation for theft and battery theryre trying to have him tranfered to a rehabilitation center instead of spending the rest of the time in jail. I visited him Monday in jail and he said he loves me and he's sorry for lying and he wants help.

[HistorianChick]

I visited him Monday in jail and he said he loves me and hes sorry for lying and he wants help.

Then you let him get the help he needs... far away from you and your daughters.

If he truly loved you, he would have your best interest at heart. The best thing for you and your girls is to be as far away from drugs and addicts as possible. Period.

You may love him, but you need to protect your children.

[VAN5090]

Thank you that's what Im going to do . If he loves me and wants to be with me later in life he will show me that he wants change and a career hopefully he leaves heroin for good .

[Justwantfair]

Thank you thats what Im going to do . If he loves me and wants to be with me later in life he will show me that he wants change and a career hopefully he leaves heroin for good .

Another HUGE factor is that I am not sure what your custody situation is, but are taking a HUGE risk of having your children removed from your care, for the type of company you keep.

It is very often, that there are new addictions to replace old addictions, sometimes the new addiction is worse, sometimes it is better. Herion is a difficult drug to recover from.

Good luck to you, but never risk your children for a man.

[VAN5090]

I have sole custody of the girls but I have child free weekends starting Friday,sat,Sunday,then Monday I pick them up after work
Thanks for the info about addictions

[Justwantfair]

What I am saying is you are risking your children being taken away, should the father (or anyone who wants to report it because they are concerned for the children) find out that this gentlemen is an addict and a felon, it won't matter if he is sober. Just be aware that it is a possibility, as I would imagine that your children are more important to you than this relationship. It should help you focus and not regress into wanting to be with someone who could potentially lose you your children.

[Ren6]

Justwantfair makes a great point- if you are hanging around with a drug addict, your kids could be removed from you.

Also, the guy sounds like a terrible catch to me! Just a few months ago, an ideal "family man" in my town was gunned down in his own home, in front of his kids, because of a drug debt he owed. Keep staying with this guy, and that scenario could be in your future. Please, get away from him and stay away.

[VAN5090]

Peaple keep prank calling his mother Im scared for his family and I will keep away from him and focus on the girls thanks

[ANB428]

The best thing for you to do is to leave this dude alone. Just like everyone else said. You are putting your daughter's in a bad environment and they don't need anyone in their lives who are on drugs. When people come off drugs they tend to get violent, you don't want him to beat up on you in front of your kids or them. My daughter's father is a meth addict and he told me so many times that he loved me and wanted to make our family work and how he would never touch meth again. I finally had to leave him and get away because he was coming down off the drugs and tried to kill me while I was holding our daughter. You need to stay away from this dude, for you and your daughters. You can find a better man who doesn't have as much baggage. Good luck. Stay strong, you will get through this. I know that it will be hard, especially if he is begging and pleading with you and telling you how much he loves you. Think with your mind, not your heart. Good luck!

[Survivor07]

This story scares me. You are only 22! That is wonderful. You have your life in front of you. You are young. You will make your life what you want it. Believe me when I say this because it is true. A drug addict is NOT capable of loving anyone. He is only thinking of himself. He will never be able to give to you what you deserve and he is a danger to your children. You could put your custody of your children in jeopardy as well. Children Welfare Services can remove your children from you if you are living with someone on drugs or you are on drugs. You are not really knowing the real him anyway. You have come to know "him on drugs". He will never be able to love or take care of anyone or be in a happy healthy relationship while addicted to drugs. He will blame everyone and everything else for his habit. You are already blaming his friend. No one is making him do drugs. He is. He probably will never change. It takes A LOT. I work in law enforcement. I have seen maybe one or two heroin addicts out of hundreds truly stay clean but that includes many relapses and their lives are a mess and so are the lives of the people who love them. You and your children deserve much, much better. I know. My husband became addicted to his pain medication. This escalated to crack cocaine and then heroin. I myself called the police and had him removed from our home. We are now divorced. He does not see our child. There is absolutely NOTHING you can do to change him. Do not waste these precious years of your life that you cannot relive. Be young, be a good mom and set your sights much, much higher please.

[artlady]

Your first priority should be your children,then you and getting away from this man as quick as you can.

There is no one size fits all when it comes to addiction. You could spend years,countless sleepless night and put your family in jeopardy and he may never recover.

If he owes someone money,they could break into your house and rob you and him.
If you have money and he is hurting for drugs ,he will steal from you.
If he is carrying drugs and gets busted,you get busted too and may lose your children.

The list goes on and on but bottom line... get out before any of these things happen.

You can't fix a junkie with love!

[Survivor07]

You can't fix a junkie with anything.