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Shane500 · Feb 4, 2009, 08:55 PM

Me and my girl have been dating for 8 months now. We have had some rough patches but now we seem to be fine. My problem is that I will ask her why she don't do certain things that much anymore for example Tonight we got into somewhat of an argument because I asked her why she don't talk about us that much anymore but she does. I just get worried she will get tired of me which makes me worry and ask more dumb questions like that. What can I do to help my insecurity because I feel like it will eventually kill the relationship.

roxypox · Feb 4, 2009, 09:26 PM

First of all, do you feel insecure about other things as well? (seeing as you say you ask dumb questions.)

How is yourself esteem in general, and in other areas of life?

Shane500 · Feb 4, 2009, 09:36 PM

Well in other areas of my life myself esteem is good. For example I like to work out and today I benched 170 once which is the most weight I've benched. I'm also a good guitar player and I feel good when I'm having a really good jam. In most things I'm confident and have great self esteem but with her I tend to think about some of her actions too much and think that either I'm doing something wrong or losing her love which I shouldn't even worry about because we have a great relationship but I just get in these low moods and I come out with bad questions that makes her feel like crap. I would like to control this but I don't know how to have a self esteem boost in these situations.

roxypox · Feb 4, 2009, 10:14 PM

Its good that you have good self esteem in other areas!

Well, maybe you need to think that; she is with me for a reason! She is with me because she loves me, and she wants to be with me.

Do you have an open communication? For example, would she tell you if something was wrong between you?

Romefalls19 · Feb 5, 2009, 06:28 AM

The way I control my insecurities is simply by reminding myself, she could be with anyone else, but here she is by my side.

neverme · Feb 5, 2009, 09:40 AM

Think about it like this:

What's the worse that can happen?

For some reason it doesn't work out.

Well then you'll get over it, IF you live your life to the fullest. You never get over regrets.. and I guarantee you, you will regret it if you have to think your insecurities ruined a relationship.

If she wanted someone else she'd go find them, she obviously doesn't but there's nothing more unattractive, whatever you can bench or play, than someone nagging and moaning. Enjoy her and your relationship and it will all work out OK, and if it doesn't the world will continue to spin, the sun will rise and life will continue.

Best of Luck.

chuff · Feb 5, 2009, 02:30 PM

When you start asking those questions, start asking yourself, "Why am I asking this?" and "Where is this question coming from and where is going to lead her?"

talaniman · Feb 6, 2009, 12:18 AM

Stop asking those dumb questions, and cheer yourself up, by being glad she is with you and have some fun.

I think your feeling bad when you have nothing to say. Play the guitar for her, in the park, write a song just for her, or about anything.

You have to many skills to be insecure.