[Kches]

This is a tough situation and I would really appreciate anyone's insights. I met my ex girlfriend when we were 14. We had been together for almost four years and we were getting ready to go to college. My dad was never a fan of me being in such a long relationship because he wanted me to "ejoy" life. My sister broke up with her boyfriend of almost 6 years in college and said we should break up now. We decided to try but with everyone telling me to just take time off in the beginning I panicked and broke it off a couple of days in to school.. it was fun being on my own but I missed her. After about three weeks I came back and she said I broke her heart and she didn't want to get back right now. She said she still loved me and that she wants to be with me but just not now. So I waited and we saw each other over break. She goes to school about an hour away from mine and I have a car so I have driven up there to see her a few times. She then met a guy who she had been hooking up with but not dating. She said she still wants to see me when were home and she still tells me she loves me. We act like were dating when we see each other. We do everything a couple does.. I made a mistake listening to people but I know where supposed to be together and I could commit my life to her.. She said I'm only doing what I told her to do and that she wants to be on her own but she will come back and that she owes it to herself to see where it goes with this kid... we live 2 minutes away at home and I told her that I didn't know if I could see her while she was hooking up with someone exclusive and she flipped at me and told her I nag her about getting back and that she said shed come back just not now... What should I do? Should I still see her and talk to her or should I cut it off? It would be unbearable to just be her friend and I could not do that because it would make me so depressed. I already am very depressed and anybody's advice would mean a lot to me.

Thank you

[illion]

Hello, Kches.

I do understand that you are confused, but it seems like you really broke her heart, and she is having a hard time trying to heal her wounds.

If you find the patience to wait for her and prove her that you really want her you will probably see a shift in her connection to you. I think she loves you, too, but you shouldn't expect too much to begin with.

She doesn't trust you, so the two of you don't have the best foundation in your relationship. You will have to work hard to regain her trust and try to balance your relationship. Listen to your heart. Do you really love her? Is she worth all the struggle? If you think she is, you will have to prepare yourself for a challenging, but rewarding time.

I wish you all the best.
Illion
:) :) :)

[NewYork123]

You guys are still young.. you should try dating other people just to make sure this girl is what you really want forever. It doesn't mean you have to hook up with other girls if you don't want to, but at least see what's out there, since apparently she is doing that too! That is a part of college..

[viviannjohn]

Y did you listen to pple ideals remenber what ever you do pple must talk so just do what pleases u.u left her when she needed you the most you were a jerk.give her space if she stillloves you she will definitely forgive u.after all you guys have been dating since 14 I guess there is still some chemistry left for you both.but if she doesn't forgives u,u got to move on and see what the world looks look.u learned your lesson to stand for what you believe in.goodluck boy.

[Kches]

Why did I listen to people... ahh because those people were my dad and my sister and I thought I was making the best decision for both of us... and I came back in 3 weeks and told her that I told my dad and sister off and to let me do my own thing and that I know what I want... and I'm sorry but if she can't forgive me for that then fine... but she's the one who is hooking up with someone else and still tells me she loves me and wants to see me over break but doesn't want to get back together because she wants to see where it goes with this kid... lady you got to be kidding me... I leave for three weeks and realize that I don't need to listen to other people and that I don't want us to be apart and she already wants to see where it goes with some kid... you must be out of your mind... I may have broke her heart but god knows three weeks is nothing and she would have wanted to come back or wanted to take it slow but keep it exclusive... not jump into something new with some kid so if anyone should be forgiving anyone I think what she is doing is far worse... I was faithfull for 4 years... I broke up when I didn't want to and told her that it was stupid... so if she is so heartbroken she wouldn't jump into some other kids arms... maybe someday I can forgive her for using what I did as an excuse to try and keep me on the side and continue to see some other kid and in case it doesn't work out she can get back with me... I left her for nobody and came back because it was stupid... she wants to be with someone else... shes doubting love... not me... so I think your wrong