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MistakeMaker · Nov 15, 2008, 03:45 AM

All of my friends changed and they don't talk to me anymore so at school every day at recess and lunch I sit alone. And my boyfriend doesn't seem to care about me anymore, I think he is cheating on me because someone told me, I have started to think about how useless I am and how all of this is some how my fault, every time I trust someone with something I end up getting stabbed in the back. Its been well over a month now and I have had my feelings bottled up because I have NO ONE to talk to about ANYTHING. I have been wanting to move away from this town so badly and make a fresh start but I am too young so instead I have been getting thoughts about suicide, I feel that my life isn't worth living anymore and that no one will miss me, or even notice I was gone. I know I'm not the person who would want to die like this and I'm so scared, I need help but I really don't want to tell anyone about this, please help!

Clough · Nov 15, 2008, 03:55 AM

Hi, MistakeMaker!

You could be clinically depressed. However, that would need to be determined by a medical professional of some kind who can properly diagnose you.

How old are you, please? It would be helpful to those who do come along to address your question to know that.

Thanks!

MistakeMaker · Nov 15, 2008, 03:57 AM

I am 15

CuteKami782 · Nov 15, 2008, 03:58 AM

I think you should try and find new ways of meeting new people.(maybe take up a hobby, join a group at school. I've met some pretty cool people that way) Do you consider yourself a shy person? There are a lot of people who are in the same situation as you who would love to have someone to talk to. These people who ignore you are probably not your friends to begin with. So it's probably for the best that you do not deal with them if they can just turn their backs on you. By the way how old are you? You shouldn't let "So-called friends" get under your skin to the point where you are having suicidal thoughts. Love yourself, have confidence in yourself and your inner beauty will shine enough to attract (hopefully) the right circle of friends. No one is worth your life, and I can understand the loneliness is suffocating but clouds do have sliver linings you just have to find it. And if your thoughts are extremely consuming where it's all you think about you might want to consider telling a family member. As for your boyfriend get rid of him.

Clough · Nov 15, 2008, 04:05 AM

Thanks for sharing how old you are with us, MistakeMaker! I think that points made by CuteKami782 would be excellent ones to take into consideration when trying to sort out your thoughts as well as your situation.

It's easy to get thoughts like you do when a person doesn't know who to turn to for help.

What are some interests that you have and activities that you like to do, please?

Thanks!

MistakeMaker · Nov 15, 2008, 04:12 AM

Well there's the thing, I don't really have many interests any more. The only close friends I have are boys and I can't sit with them at school because it would be weird being the only girl in a guy's group. My school has the worst girls, I don't think any group there would accept me, its not a thought, it's a fact, trust me.
Well I do like to sing but there isn't a group at school who is based around that. I just don't see a point in living my life anymore, I don't really see a future for me.

CuteKami782 · Nov 15, 2008, 04:20 AM

Everyone has a future it's up to you to set a path that leads to that future. And to set that path you first have to figure out why you really think suicide is the answer? If you like to sing why not sing in a choir? Do you go to church? Okay if a choir is a little to holier-than-thou for you, do you have a music group at school? Okay if that doesn't work maybe you can go online and search for activities in your area that will introduce you to new people. There are always options out there. And like I said before if these suicidal thoughts are consuming you may want to talk to a trusted family member or a professional. You are young too by the way. You have to give yourself time. And has hard as it may seem you need to have patience. You also have to look deep within yourself and ask yourself what you really like to do? What catches your interest? Do you like to read? Write? Play video games? Walk in the park? You just have to start looking inward.

Clough · Nov 15, 2008, 04:22 AM

I've felt like you're feeling so many times, MistakeMaker!

Please do think about this, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

Just a thought for you...

The fact that you asking here about your situation and the way that you feel shows that you want help and that you don't really want to harm yourself in any way.

You'll get lots of support on this site! Depending on the circumstances, I know just the right people to alert to a thread if it's needed.

Are you saying that there isn't a chorus or choir of some kind at school?

Thanks!

Clough · Nov 15, 2008, 05:33 AM

Okay, I can see that you're no longer logged onto this site, MistakeMaker. There are people here who would really like to help you, and they will, if given the chance! You're not alone!

Just to get your mood up and you feeling better about yourself, I do want to point out that it's possible to do that on this site! Here's one of many examples: Below, is a link to a thread on this site where a girl who is about your age and I have been composing a song. It's something that she's really enjoying and helping her to feel better about herself. I do hope that you'll check out the thread.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/writin...ng-267729.html

If you'd like to do something similar like she has, please do let me know.

I know that you really need to let things out now and find shoulders on which to lean and also people who can give you sound advice as to what you might do with your life and positive as well as proactive strategies that you might be able to use in dealing with the things that are happening in your life. That can and does happen for people here!

I hope and pray for nothing but the best for you!

Thanks!