[headwack]

Sigh my girlfriend and I just broke up yesterday...
I have a lot of thoughts about her and I really miss her but then the problems is that she likes this guy at her school and doesn't have to same feelings for me. I was the one who figured out that she didn't feel the same way and I told her that we need to end this...
But now I really regret saying that and ending our relationship because I think I can win her back. But I'm not sure if I should still try because of how she is trying to avoid me.
I told her that we should talk or see each other for a while. I guess that was the right thing to do because I am really up set with her. And she did this before in the past (few months ago) she told me that she was not happy with me and she was only pretending which I really don't believe.I treat her with the most respect, take her out on dates, drive her to malls to go shopping, and lots of other things. NOW I'm stuck because she doesn't want me to bother her and I still have that urge to save this relationship. Deep down I know that she still has feelings for me. So should I move on or try hard? :confused:
And if I am to do one what am I suppose to do...

I think there is more to say but I don't know how to say it
So give me some advice.

[LifeChangesMan]

All right pal, we're here to help you, I'll just cut to the chase you need to not contact this girl anymore, I understand you love her and what not but, why would you want to be with someone for three years and then have them look you in the eye and say you know what, I'm really crushing on this kid in my history class, I'm going to go for it see you later.

You have to understand is no matter how much you think you can change someone's mind ("Win her over") you can not. She has to figure out on her own that you're the one, go about not talking to her and she'll either come back or not, and in that case you get to make up your mind on whether you want to take her back or not.

[headwack]

Thank you that really makes me feel better

[Clough]

Hi, headwack!

I agree with LifeChangesMan and would like to add that it looks like you needed some reassurance as to making the right decisions. I was engaged to a woman for 3&1/2 years a long time ago. I also felt like all that time that I spent with her was "down the tubes". However, I've come to realize that I learned a lot from the experience. It makes a person stronger when they know more about what works and what won't and also what to look out for in the future.

There's lots of "fish" in the sea! If having an intimate relationship with someone else is the thing after which you seek, then I'm sure that you'll find it eventually. Just takes some practice and going out with more than one person for a period.

I wish for only the best for you!

Thanks!

[talaniman]

Your still fresh in the emotions of the break up, but you have done the right thing and now you need to heal from this and move on.

The time wasn't wasted as you enjoyed it while it lasted, didn't you?

[chuff]

First you need to stay as far away from her as possible. Emotionally, you are in over your head and she's not as interested in you as you are in her, so she's using you and you are letting her.

Second, when your emotions die down, you need to see some of the mistakes you made and on of them was you were doing way too much for her, when you wrote that you took her to the mall, all I could think about was "that's what women do." While in your mind that's treating her right, in her mind that's just comes across as friend behavior because women do that stuff together.

[headwack]

I agree with all of what you guys say =0
thank you and makes me feel better about myself

[liz28]

You shouldn't even want this girl back because you already stated that she likes someone else at school. She must have like this guy for a while because you only broke up yesterday.

This girl told you in the past about her feelings towards you and you should've paid attention to what she was saying and I bet if you would reflect on your relationship with her you would see that her actions matched her words.

I know you are going look at this situation as 3 years wasted but you should take it as a learning experience and in your next relationship pay attention to the signs. I don't think you really lost anything and once you get over this you would see the same things I am seeing.

[headwack]

This is headwack's ex girlfriend speaking: first of all, the story is completely one sided... he did not include how he abused me mentally and physically. He wasn't making me happy. He controlled me. He didn't let me hangout with any of my friends. He neven put his hands to my face before! AFTER our break up, he SNUCK ONTO MY AIM FILE!! U guys are commenting on his story, but it is completely one-sided. He completely left out the part when he was cheating on me with his ex girlfriend in the beginning of the relationship. AND I'm not the blind one. YOU guys are. If you were to comment in saying that the girlfriend is the blind one, then obviously you guys were too blind to see that the story is completely altered to make it seem like I was the cheater, and he did nothing wrong... I DO still care for him and all but trying to make everyone side with u... that's just pathetic.

[apeclown841]

WHOA! Wait a sec... hold on a minute. YOU HIT HER? How were you raised? I don't care what a woman does you NEVER strike her.
I don't know anymore of this story than what's presented but if that's your ex talking and she's giving her half of the story... YOU ARE A WORLDCLASS LOSER! You're asking for answers but you're not asking the right question. You want to know what to do if you're a freakin prince and then all of a sudden this cheating wench dumps you for another guy. At this point, its only a POSSIBILITY that you are what you say you are. As far as I'm concerned you need to reevaluate the whole situation. Take a step back and figure out if you're being honest with yourself and more importantly with us. If you want advice, we'll gladly give it but if you want to play the martyr, climb up on your cross and declare to the world nothing is your fault then you really are pathetic. Be a man for once, maybe you won't lose the next girl to a guy who knows how to treat a lady. Finally ask yourself a few things, the questions that you should have asked yourself before you ever made a post. Do you want to get back with her because you love her and you can make her happy or because she makes you feel good? If you truly care, isn't it better not to complicate her life and let her go? If you hesitate, even for a second on those questions and you find that sliver of decency in your woman-beating bastard heart, be a man, have a few beers and move on. I feel for you, I really do... but I feel for her too. Sleep on it OK man?

[chuff]

This is headwack's ex girlfriend speaking: first of all, the story is completely one sided... he did not include how he abused me mentally and physically. he wasnt making me happy. he controlled me. he didn't let me hangout with any of my friends. he neven put his hands to my face before! AFTER our break up, he SNUCK ONTO MY AIM FILE!!! u guys are commenting on his story, but it is completely one-sided. he completely left out the part when he was cheating on me with his ex girlfriend in the beginning of the relationship. AND im not the blind one. YOU guys are. if u were to comment in saying that the girlfriend is the blind one, then obviously you guys were too blind to see that the story is completely altered to make it seem like i was the cheater, and he did nothing wrong...... I DO still care for him and all but trying to make everyone side with u... thats just pathetic.

How exactly did headwack's ex find this site and get his screen name and password? Either he's lying and he posted this, or she has access to his personal email account and was snooping around herself. Sounds like that's pretty pathetic as well.

[liz28]

Yeah someone is lying, now which one is it? Nobody has time to figure that out. Even the girlfriend got his account information or he let her see it.

The whole time I been on this site I only saw this happen once. When the girlfriend wrote about the boyfriend and then the boyfriend wrote his own thread about the girlfriend and it turned out that the girlfriend was lying.

[Clough]

It's getting confusing here...

[talaniman]

If everyone is telling some truth, then this relationship is going nowhere, despite the feelings.

[myaddiction_]

Of course you're still going to love her, you gave her three years of your life. I'm in a relationship of three years myself, and I know I'd be re-acting the same way. But you need to come clean to everyone. Did you hit her? Or no? Or was that even really your "ex" that told the other side of the story? Either way, no man should EVER hit a girl. And no woman should ever hit a man, it goes both ways. Just thought I'd throw that out there. If you really are lying, then why waste other people's time on giving you advice? We're only here to help you, but we're not going to help much if you're in the wrong.

[High Max]

Hm, I almost wonder if this is a potential trolling attempt. I wouldn't read too much into this question until the thread starter replies.