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    Princesscut's Avatar
    Princesscut Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Sep 16, 2008, 09:49 PM
    Triangle love
    I'm vey sad anh confused rite now. No judgement here please. All I need is a good advice not a bad judgement. Tim and I were both in a relationship with others when we met. But we both weren't hAppy with our partners. The thing was we both have little ones about the same age. As time goes by after working together we both fell in love although we know there's a tough road ahead of us if we wanted to be together. After a year and a half our love is so strong that we can't live without each other. We had decided that we will to through ecerything to be Together no matter what it takes. And now his wife found out everything about us and wanted to have a talk with me face to face. She wants to hear my explanation why I still come to him when I already knew he was married. My problem is I don't mind having a talk with her. But I need your advice on what and how I should talk to her. I know for sure Tim wanted to be with me. But she won't let him go. I don't need any advice telling me to back off because he's married. We already made up our mind to be together. I need advice on how to talk to her. Thank you.
    JBeaucaire's Avatar
    JBeaucaire Posts: 5,426, Reputation: 997
    Software Expert
     
    #2

    Sep 17, 2008, 06:42 AM
    Well, if your mind is made up to do what you want even when it's morally and culturally wrong, what are you doing here?

    Life is making judgments. You told us we couldn't "judge" in regard to your situation, all you will apparently accept is strangers telling you some version of "hey, do what you want..." So, what are you doing here?

    Grownup who live life that way are miserable. I hope you two are REALLY happy right now, because whether you accept my judgments or not, you're basing your life on some heaping helping of "my want is more important than reality."

    Good luck with that. Those two kids are paying close attention.
    JBeaucaire's Avatar
    JBeaucaire Posts: 5,426, Reputation: 997
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    #3

    Sep 17, 2008, 06:44 AM
    I guess I do have a question, if you don't mind. You state you and Tim are having an affair and the wife has found out. Your affair has been going on for a year and half.

    Since his wife wants to talk to you and you state "she won't let him go", can I assume they are actually still living together and raising their child together?
    jjwoodhull's Avatar
    jjwoodhull Posts: 1,378, Reputation: 239
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    #4

    Sep 17, 2008, 06:49 AM
    At this point, be honest with her. You at least owe her that.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #5

    Sep 17, 2008, 07:10 AM
    Sorry you don't get to ask a question, and hear the answer you want, especially since I don't agree with the way you are phrasing it.

    The notion that she won't let him go is bogus at best, as why should she? They are married. He has a choice to leave her, get a divorce, and take up with you. He didn't, he stays, and keeps you on the side professing his dying love, and you believe the words, and ignore the actions.

    That's some kind of love he has convinced you of. If it was as you are saying, you both would do whatever it takes to be together, and share that love, and that hasn't happened! That's what you need to pay attention too, before you both look like zip darn fools, cheating on your partners, and got caught at it. OOOPPSS!! Thats not an opinion is it??? Thats a fact.

    When you talk to his wife, be honest, and tell her what this lying cheater has been telling you about all this. Hopefully she will kick him to the curb, take half his stuff, drown him in child support and alimony, and leave enough for you to be happy with. That solves half your problem, so are you married, or told YOUR partner, you got some yum on the side?? Will he have a talk with your side action? What a mess!!

    Not opinion, just facts.
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
    Ultra Member
     
    #6

    Sep 17, 2008, 07:14 AM
    While I try to hold back judgment I must say, this is completely wrong and you two are so selfish that you do not care about the interests of the children, did you ever stop to think about how damaging it is to know that mommy is out running around? Or maybe how much pain the child sees in his mom's eyes every time? You claim "she won't let him go" last time I checked, he can get a divorce without his wife's approval. Could he like the fact that he has his cake and eating it too? My money is on that option

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