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Chris A · Aug 19, 2008, 11:35 AM

Hey everyone this is my first time here I'm 38
Well I had been seeing a girl for three months. And we argued a little nothing major just stupid . Little things.. we have now boroken up.. her decision of course.I was a mess a few weeks back.. and this is what she said I was doing to pushy.and pushed her away.. maybe to far..
Now the 3 months were great.. she did say I'm a great guy and she also said she tought I was the one for her.. also her family and friends said the same things.
We travelled together. Went to new places..
I was worried that she didn't care so much because she didn't tell me she cared that often. Our e-mails to each other were not the best because she was away for 35days she works on a boat as I do.. everything was heated.. in the e-mails because I was trying to get her back.. stupid I know but.. and on her return she was sure if she wanted to talk and ai don't blame her for some reason for me pushing.. when I did meet up she said she thought of me everyday and thought of how to work things out.. but she now said she carnt do it anymore.. we have to be friends.. and tears rolled down her face.. and that broke my heart.. the problems I had with life I have sorted.. through counsiling.. and talking to other people. And I think I was to egger to show her this.. she hasn't contacted me for a few days now but we go back to work together tomorrow.. do you think I should ask her to lunch today and talk not about the relationship.. that I can do.. I am a strong person now.. but am madly in love with her. Her sister said give her some space for a few days.. her friends have said to her think about this denise.. he's a amazing guy... do you think I have any chances with my baby.. I'm 38 and never in my life have I ever felt this way about a gorgeous women..
Any help will go along way.. thanks for listening

Smoked · Aug 19, 2008, 01:10 PM

First,
Anything is possible, but you both need to work out the kinks. Sounds like a difficult relationship from the start considering you are away from one another 35 days?

Have you thought about just telling her how you feel and waiting to see what happens? From my experience when you send the emails back and forth things tend to get said in the heat of the moment (much like person to person conversations) that you might not wanted to say or meant. In email its even easier to be distant and unattached.

Put your feelings out there and let her come to you. If it's meant to be it will work out.

Chris A · Aug 19, 2008, 01:30 PM

Originally Posted by Smoked

First,
Anything is possible, but you both need to work out the kinks. Sounds like a difficult relationship from the start considering you are away from one another 35 days?

Have you thought about just telling her how you feel and waiting to see what happens? From my experience when you send the emails back and forth things tend to get said in the heat of the moment (much like person to person conversations) that you might not wanted to say or meant. In email its even easier to be distant and unattached.

Put your feelings out there and let her come to you. If it's meant to be it will work out.

Hey thanks for your reply
Well I had this 35 days off to get counsilling from a past relationship I had with my wife.. but people have said it's a rebound.. I don't think that at all.. she's had trouble with her relationships too with ex boyfriends cheating on her.. and she gets walked over.. kinks are write.. I never really talked to her about my ex because of always getting hurt about talking about my problems. And getting them pushed back in my face.. so id close up.. which in a new relationship I was insecure.. and that's what I think effected this relationship people say how they will change to make things write.. well I took the time to sort myself.. 35days.. to make things write.. do I sit down with herr and tell her everything.. she is strong minded...

Smoked · Aug 19, 2008, 01:33 PM

If it's worth fighting for and she will give you the time use it to explain to her where you are coming from. It may or may not help, but you will have at least put it all on the table to grow from.

Chris A · Aug 19, 2008, 01:55 PM

She is worth fighting for... but don't want to go over the top and look like I'm begging for forgivness.. that's the wrong way.. it would be my intital approach to it all.. and being positive.. my insecurety did the damage here.. I need to make amends of it, as you said kinks. Iron them out

talaniman · Aug 21, 2008, 09:45 AM

Back off from the relationship and just build on a friendship, nothing deep, or heavy, and don't be so eager as to push for an exclusively defined relationship, as your only going to push her away, but the friendly, considerate guy, who is working to establish communications, and common grounds, may have a chance.

For now, give her space, and work a whole lot slower. Best to be a happy grounded person on your own, and she may be attracted to SHARE it with you. Pulling will never get her.

3 months is way to soon to push for a long-term relationship, especially when your insecure, and needy, and she knows it and wants no part of it.

Dating is supposed to be fun, while you learn about each other and bond, and learn to communicate, so be honest is that what you think has been going on so far?? I can't see it, so I doubt it.

Glad you sought counseling, and I hope it helps. I hope its not to late to turn things around, and wish you luck!