[gapeach8337]

:eek: OK so I am new to this site but I really need some help with questions concerning my 4yr old son. Me and his father are not together and haven't been since my son was 7months old, but my son has had a wonderful man taking care of him since then. The relationship with my sons father is very difficult because he acts like a child,just a lilttle fact my fiancé a man of color is the best thing that has ever happened to me and my son he has treated my son like his own. My sons dad is a very racist person and in the beginning wanted nothing at all to do with our son because my fiancé was helping me raise him. That lasted about a year but recently my sons father lost his job and has been unable to pay child support so they are trying to suspend his license which is out of my control it's the law. Anyway he had the nerve to get is mother to call me and tell me that if they do that then he wants nothing to do with my son. How ignorant is that? Now my concern is the fact that my son has so much anger I don't know how to deal with it. I just want his dad to sign over his rights and leave him alone my son has not spoken to his dad since christmas his birthday was in feb and he didn't even get a call! I lnow people may think my son is to young to realize what's going on but he really isn't he truly misses is father and when he ask to go stay with him and I tell him I don't know how to get in touch with him he gets angry at me and hits me or his sister. My sons father has really put me through a lot he has threatened to blow my car up while my son was in it, he has threatened to shoot up my house, kill my fiancé and kidnap my son. He has some mental problems and I never feel safe when my son is with him I just need to know what to do and him paying child support is no concern to me because I work very hard to take care of my family... please someone give me some advice!! :confused:

[startover22]

To handle your child's anger, you must take action when he shows it. He is four, you are the mom, you have to show him that he needs to express his feelings some other way. LIKE... going to his room and yelling or hitting a pillow instead. Or next time you talk about his dad, have a serious talk, no cover up tell him the truth that his daddy made some really wrong and dangerous choice and you choose to protect him by not having him around. We as adults forget that our kids can have bad attitudes or bad days, just like we do... only they don't understand what to do with it all. Of course it affects him, not being able to see his dad, not being able to be with him, tell him the boy stuff that dads and sons tell each other. He needs an out... you are the only one to show him that.
If he threatened you, then you need a restraining order, you need to protect you and your family before he follows through! It may be time to get a lawyer to make sure he doesn't see him anymore!

[Fr_Chuck]

Also after you are married, if your new husband wants to adopt, and the ex will sign over his rights, then the child support will stop.
So he will be gone and done.