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bre2059 · Mar 24, 2008, 03:57 PM

Hi, my name is Bre and I am currently going through a divorce, well I should say phase two of a divorce due to modifying my ex-husband's visitations with my daughter.

My question is, since my ex husband was pshyically, emotionally, and sexually abusive to me while pregnant with my daughter and he has not followed court order with counseling and parenting classes will he get to have our daughter spend the night over his house after she turns a year old?

In the court papers, it is so vague with the visitation, it said gradually after 1 year of child's age that our daugther would be able to spend the night at his house, so there is no specific date when or if she does spend the night. I have a hearing pending the case now, but I just wanted to get some answers to see somewhat of what to aspect.

Thank you!:confused:

N0help4u · Mar 24, 2008, 04:30 PM

I assume it is vague to give the Judge a chance to make a better decision at the time depending on how things have gone up until then. You can tell the Judge all of your concerns and that you do not feel comfortable with over nights. You can request supervised visits.
It is up to the Judge after that.

You have concerns by the way he treated you. Are they realistic concerns that he would be abusive to your baby? Not all guys will treat a child abusively as they do their girlfriend/wife. BUT some will.

Fr_Chuck · Mar 24, 2008, 07:59 PM

You will need to file for to have the current order modified to limit no visits or only supervised visis

bre2059 · Mar 24, 2008, 08:04 PM

Yes I do have realistic concerns that he could possible abuse our daughter. Hello, he first abused me when I was pregnant with her. We went to mediation and he signed the documents saying he as well would go to parenting classes and get counseling. His father was abusive to his mother and it definitely has gone down the line of his family history but I would like to help and prevent that in the best and correct way as much as possible.

The mediation documents that he and I signed were then written up in court document papers. And he has not followed any thing of what he signed to. On top of that when our daughter is sick, he chooses to not be involve or show any concern of her well being.

I do believe time has a way of working things out, but as well a whole lot of common sense and not over reacting, but taking appropriate actions to keep the child in a safe and loving environment. I still follow all what the court has ordered. So to say we are the ones that usually mess it up trying to Make things happen, can not speak for me and others but only yourself!

Fr_Chuck · Mar 24, 2008, 08:08 PM

Judges and court rulings are not common sense and unless it says he can not visit, he can claim any right it may say he has. If it is too vague, you will need to go back to court and have the court order made exact.

Wondergirl · Mar 24, 2008, 08:09 PM

Please don't get mad at NOhelp. We can answer questions based only on the little bit of information we are usually given. Now you have given us much more, so that helps and gives us a better picture of who and what the baby's father is. If you have a lawyer, make sure he or she knows all of what has been done or not done.

N0help4u · Mar 24, 2008, 08:11 PM

Him not following up is pretty much grounds for the Judge not even giving any visitations or short supervised ones.
I can understand your concerns and it is important to bring them up to the Judge.

What I mean by trying to make things happen is pushing for something you want sooo bad that is not meant to be, at least for the time being. BUT YOU want it so bad even if it ends up being the worst thing possible.

BEEN there DONE THAT