[ojodyo]

I have 2 kids. A boy 12 and a girl 15. I've been divorced now for about 9 years. For the first 7 or 8 years or so I had regular visitation, 2 out of 3 weekends, and half the summer holidays. Lately, though, things have begun to change. The kid's mother doesn't seem to want to follow the court order. Yes I still pay child support as outlined in the order but everything else seems to be going by the wayside. When my previous wife and I were together we raised our children in a Christian home. Now the home that they are in has nothing to do with God. My faith is very important to me and I am becoming concerned that my kids are being steered in the wrong direction. I am a father who really would like to be involved in my kid's lives and has been for many years, but the question I have is with whether to force myself on them. It seems as though the only time I hear from either my kids or their mother is when they want money. I live about an hour and a half from their house so it is not so easy to plan short notice to see them. Should I go to court and get the order enforced or just let them slowly fade out of my life?

[ScottGem]

Why would you even ask this question? They are your kids and you are entitled to be a part of their lives. So this is a no-brainer. You tell your ex, that if she doesn't abide by the court ordered visitation you will go back to the court to enforce it.

That being said, I wonder if it's the ex or the kids that are balking. I'm bothered by your statement; "My faith is very important to me and I am becoming concerned that my kids are being steered in the wrong direction." They may not be going in the "wrong" direction, just a different direction. They may find your faith to be overbearing and you to be too judgemental. They are both of an age where they start to think on their own.

So maybe you need to have a long talk with them and see what the real story behind the drifting away is. You also need to be prepared to support their choices, even if they are not your own.