[dansk]

I Always wanted to know where does insecurity arise from? Has it anything to do with the way we were brought up? Something that was missed in the way we were brought up from the time we were toddlers? CAN IT BE REDUCED?

Any advice is welcomed ;]
Thanks!

[hauser5]

Insecurity is a feeling of general unease or nervousness that may be triggered by perceiving oneself to be unloved, inadequate or worthless.

A person who is insecure lacks confidence in their own value and capability, trust in themselves or others, or has fears that a present positive state is temporary and will let them down and cause them loss or distress by "going wrong" in future.

This is not to be confused with humility, which involves recognising one's failings but still maintaining a healthy dose of self-confidence. Insecurity is not an objective evaluation of one's ability but an emotional interpretation, as two people with the same capabilities may have entirely different levels of insecurity.

Insecurity may cause shyness, paranoia and social withdrawal, or alternatively it may encourage compensatory behaviours such as arrogance, aggression, or bullying, a principle enshrined in the phrase "all bullies are cowards." Many people suffer a period of insecurity during puberty, which gives rise to a lot of the stereotypical behaviours of adolescents.

Insecurity has many effects in a person's life. There are several levels of it. It nearly always causes some degree of isolation as a typically insecure person withdraws themselves to some extent. The greater the insecurity, the higher the degree of isolation. Insecurity is often rooted in a person during their childhood years. Like offense and bitterness, it grows in layer fashion, often becoming an immobilising force that sets a limiting factor in the person's life. Insecurity robs by degrees - the degree it is entrenched is the degree of power it has in the person's life.

As insecurity can be distressing and feel threatening to the psyche, insecurity can often be accompanied by a controlling personality type or avoidance, as psychological defence mechanisms.

Insecurity can be overcome. It takes time and patience and a willingness to believe each person (and specifically oneself) is in fact of innate value. The first of Erikson's stages of psychosocial development details the challenge of finding security and learning to trust one's self and environment.

[Wondergirl]

Insecurity results from a feeling of not being able to control the environment, one's life.

That's why anorexics binge and purge. They at least can control something -- their food intake and outgo. That's why those with OCD count or check--a way to control something.

If there is no feeling of control, anxiety begins.

[justcurious55]

I think it has a lot to do with how we're raised. A parent who either tells you that they think you're worthless/ugly/stupid, or mabye just doesn't tell you that they think you're great. Or even a bad teacher early on. I think it all influences us and we grow up with it. I'm sure its possible, but I have yet to meet anyone who has overcome their insecurities without the help of a good therapist and a great support system.

[simoneaugie]

No matter who raises us we are usually taught that happiness comes from without. We learn that satisfaction comes from our ability to control our environment.

Happiness comes from within. Control of other people and our environment is an illusion.