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sniders · Oct 25, 2007, 04:23 AM

I have been dateing my boyfriend for 4 months. We fell in love right off the bat. He tells me he loves me a lot. But he treats me like we are not in a really seriouse relationship. He use to text me everyday telling me to have a good day and that he loves me. Now nothing. The only time he will have sex with me is if I ask for it, and even then most of the time I get turned down by an I am to tired. I am a very good looking girl, and he says he is still atracked to me. I am just confused if he wants to be in this relationship or not. I ask him he says yes but he acts like he does not most of the time. I am 31years old and he just turned 25 years old. I try not to put too much wieght on the age thing but I have a feeling that has something to do with it.
Why would he tell me he loves me so much, that I am awsome and act like he does not want to be in a seriouse relationship most of the time? Is he just scared of commitment? Does not want to have to settle down?

Please advise

Thanks

Chery · Oct 25, 2007, 04:59 AM

You'd be surprised what men do during the 'chase'. Once they have you, they revert to life that is more comfortable for them.

Tell him you want more compassion, caring and attention. If he cannot provide it and make you happy, leave him.

You deserve to be treated the way you want and need.

Just to be with someone, good or bad, is not always the best solution for your mental or physical health and believe me, it won't get better if you just accept things as they are.

Good luck, dear, and keep us updated.

You cannot change him, but you certainly can make choices for yourself.

AustProd6 · Oct 25, 2007, 05:01 AM

For what it's worth, this is what I think.
He says he loves you because he does not want to loose you as an option, but doesn't feel as he did. Maybe it was a rebound thing with him in some way. All that loving at the start was to lure you. It sounds like it worked.
Some men are generally crappy at initiating break up and he pushes you away so you make that step and is blameless.
You may intimidate him a bit and he is waiting for you to do the deed.

Here is a suggestion. Initiate No Contact and shock the hell out of him. He may just need a wake up call. If he doesn't respond, move on. DON'T chase him. Get him thinking. Seems like you are doing all the work. What woman wants that.

I only say this because I use to be one of these men. (Maybe still)