[amicon]

That's why its so important to have a backup plan to counteract the lows-get busy,physically active,phone a friend-do whatever it takes to change your mindset and get back to a happier you.

[paxe]

Yea it does make sense. I was obsessed a couple of month after my break up of getting "attention" from girl (girls looking at me, flirting... ). It would boost me up for the day but then if I didn't have this "high" I would just go to a low. Give it time, you will stabilize and everything will be right.

[sadnlostedddd]

If you blocked your ex on fb, and you get curious about what he or she is doing. DO NOT CHECK! DO NOT CHECK! I just set myself back probably 2 months by being curious and looking at my ex's Facebook. I hate myself sooooooooooo much right now I want to die. She's in love. Already, I fell see worthless if she can replace me in freaking a month! I hate this, this sucks so bad. Do not do that to yourself. Whatever wondering I had is gone and it is 10 times worse than I thought.This isn't a rebound. It's the real deal and I can't believe she could replace me so quickly, I want to throw up.

[vanheart]

Good lesson learned, right?

Don't check up or have any contact with someone that replaces you.

She's not doing the same is she? Wondering & pining for you?
Why should you? False hopes? Curiosity?

Stop worrying about what she's up to. The less you know, the better.
What do you want to know more about you she's with & investigate.
That just sick & twisted.

That only causes more pain.

Yeah, believe me. That feeling of rejection was one of the hardest things that I had to let go. But, wake up. Don't waste your energy on feeling crappy about her. It sucks, Yes. But she's gone now. Get it?

But realize that this person is your EX, ie: no longer in your life.

Start being concerned about getting back on track.

Its all about YOU & what your next move is to get over this bs.

[sadnlostedddd]

Yeah, but this is probably the worst I've ever been, I'm not going to be recover for a long time, and I have a whole month at home, away from school, I don't know what I'm going to do.

[vanheart]

Use this time to regroup, have fun with people that care & not wallow.

You don't need her to make you happy. Remember this.

Actually getting away from this will do you some good, if you let it & don't spend your time dwelling.

[Something_Here]

Your better off being at home right now, away from things as vanheart said. This way it won't hurt your school performance, and you'll be a bit more distanced from the whole thing. Try to do stuff to get your mind off things, get out with friends, play video games, whatever.

[paxe]

For studying during a break up, I suggest a very intensive training session in the morning so that you get endorphines for the rest of the day and you'll be much more efficient later on.

[sadnlostedddd]

The hardest part is not thinking about it. By doing things, when I start enjoying myself, I think "hey I'm actually having fun" and as soon as I think that, I realize that I'm not thinking about "her" which actually makes me think of "her." First love blues :-//// I know I'm still young but after that first one I feel like I'll never find someone I care about as much as I did her.

[amicon]

The thing is you will. In a while you'll be able to look back on this as a bad patch but a learning experience.

[Ther4peuticH3at]

Man, I went out last night, had an AMAZING time. If I could bottle this feeling up, I'd never have anything to complain about. So, from here, I can tell you that I know you know this feeling, and I know you'll be here right where I am (or close) in due time, but it's wholly up to you. You know the deal, if you want to be happy, you have to let her go, PERIOD. You don't need her, you don't need to know what she's up to, you don't need to know if she still thinks about you, it doesn't matter. She's behind you, stop looking back or you'll miss out on what in front of you. Life is perspective, find a better one.

If it helps, whatever she has with this new dude will never be what she had with you. Every relationship is unique; SHE CAN NEVER REPLACE YOU. Don't forget that, don't be surprised if she tries to come back to you somewhere down the line.

[sadnlostedddd]

Been sick, I haven't been able to eat or sleep. :-/ I watched the UFC fight with me friends from HS last night which didn't really help, the whole time I was thinking about her. This whole time that we've been broken up, I've never hurt this bad so I'm not sure how long its going to take for me to recover, if at all. I can't even picture it, not being able to care. I wish I could talk to her to know what I did wrong, one so I could know,and two so I would know what to not do if I ever have another relationship. I feel a little awkward about the whole situation because she seems so happy, which should be what I want, but selfishly I want to be the one to make her happy.

[paxe]

As normal as these thoughts are, give it time and heal actively. There is no fast remedy against break up depending on how active you are to healing and if you apply NC or not.

[sadnlostedddd]

But it's been 4 months, I've tried everything. Met other girls, worked out, focused on school, went out, started reading more. I mean everything is just short term, as soon as I stop doing something I still miss her. I'm seriously starting to think there's something wrong with me, all I have are regrets about how I acted, its weird because when we first broke up, all I could think about was how happy we were together, now all I think about is all the times I let her down. It breaks my heart thinking of how much easier J could have made her happier but I was too stubborn and too proud.

[amicon]

Time to stop blaming yourself,we all make mistakes and your overthinking the past isn't helping you move forward.
Every time you start feeling low get busy and actively do something to change your thoughts.

[talaniman]

You have been here long enough to know the routine, and wallowing over split milk is not one of the ways we tell you to do for yourself. That's a quitters lament.

This maybe the hardest thing you have ever done, so don't make it harder by beating yourself up for past failures.

I expect more from you than just crying about your past shortcomings, and expect a lot more effort, than saying nothing has worked for you so far.

Try harder, work harder, and overcome those negative feelings, as they will surely hold you back.

It takes time dude, so make the most of it by focusing on what you can do for yourself.

No more of the negative, geez, you should have been cheering with your mates and not worrying about what she did, or is doing. How useless is that??

Sorry to be harsh, but your drowning in your own shat here, and that is unacceptable.

Maybe you should volunteer, and do someone who needs help some good, so you can understand how lucky you are to have friends, and things to look forward too.

[Ther4peuticH3at]

Try not to get hung up on the shoulda-coulda's. I think every man that's ever lived would do just about anything for a rewind button. All you can do is reflect a bit and take everything into consideration when you're putting your best foot forward. We've all made mistakes. No one is perfect; there will always be moments that we'll wish we could have back. Try not to become so fixated on it; otherwise, this'll just be another moment you'll find yourself regretting.

[bella99]

Hey - read my original posts about me dealing with my ex - at exactly 4 months of being broken up he started dating someone else (whom he had met while we were dating) - I went through the same feelings.

BUT, I decided to take the high road and say, "OK, he is over me no matter how much I wish he wasn't - he is - and I need to be over him - I don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me"

You don't want this to hurt you even more than it already does - I know it sucks but just stay busy - go out with friends and above all - never check up on her again on Facebook - maybe in 3 years or something once you have been with someone else, but not anytime soon.

Rarely is your first love the only one for you - and just think if you felt that good being with her, the person who is really right for you will make you feel even better, so don't miss out on that better person! Good luck hun!

[emopunk7]

So we both were dumped at the same time. I am doing a lot better after 3 months... We are getting there. You have to hang in there. For whatever reasons, they don't want us. We both feel like we did everything for them and made them happy so many times so why do they want to stay away from us? I was so hurt and still am. I can't believe we are still broken up and I can't believe after having her, how was I able to ruin everything. Then I think about how good I really was to her in general and how she took advantage of me in a way and then I realise I did my part. She just wanted out. She probably just kept collecting all the little flaws of mine and since she didn't feel the way I did, she didn't let them go. Instead, she held on until she found it in herself to let go of me. We both can ask question forever and wonder why did they leave? Was is because of one thing we did wrong? No, it is because they just felt like giving up. It's a collection of things and they felt like giving up. Its pathetic, I know. I still have so many memories... dont you? I try everyday to move on but then I think that the future doesn't include her and how can days be so happy without her in it? That's the happiness I know. How can that be replaced? This is very hard! I'm trying to figure everything out just like you. Feel free to ask me anything. I stay going to the gym and I stay busy. It's just hard to imagine I can be happy without her and trying to figure out how.

[sadnlostedddd]

For the past couple of days I've been doing a lot better. I think of them together and it bothers me still, but I don't let it really effect me. However today is the ex's birthday, I've felt like complete crap all day. I don't know why. I wish that I could skip today, I knew that I was going to be in a bad mood even a few days ago. I struggled so long with whether to send her a happy birthday text. I don't know why I let this get me down so much, one of those, I can't eat type of days. I texted her "happy birthday ******, I hope you have a good break." Just to be a nice guy, and before I sent it I was praying that she wouldn't text me back. She did it said "thanks! you too." For the love of God that was probably the worst text she could have sent me, I haven't cried over her since... maybe late August, and now I'm on the verge of tears as I'm typing this.

When I realize that I have to move on and let go, I feel okay, there are other girls. But right now it seems like I wasted so much time while I was with her. Like it meant nothing to her and the world to me. I don't want to feel like a stepping stone to something better :-/

I guess I'm a glutton for punishment cause I knew that it would hurt me, but I wanted to let her know that I still cared. The way she responded, I feel like she has 0 feelings for me now, which should make me want to move on, but instead makes me feel even worse about the situation. Just a little venting...