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natalie25 · Nov 9, 2009, 11:01 PM

You so for now I'm moving on trying... but like they say love takes time. If I felt it was real.. do you think time away a couple months will or could work out later? I'm not dwelling on it lol just curious what you guys think

bjohnrupp · Nov 9, 2009, 11:17 PM

Possibly... if he loves you he'll come back... if he doesn't then its over but Don't sit around waiting for him- get on with your life and when you're ready try meering someone new

natalie25 · Nov 9, 2009, 11:32 PM

I know thank you I'm trying not to wait. I mean I'm not! But I tried so hard to move on. Deleting his Facebook was the last step. And then when he sends texts like that it throws me back off! So annoying! I just want to escape or for him to make up his mind or leave me alone.

bjohnrupp · Nov 9, 2009, 11:39 PM

I went through the same thing a few months ago so take it from someone who's been through it already- just hang in there and try to enjoy life

natalie25 · Nov 9, 2009, 11:43 PM

Thank you I appreciate it. I seem to have no one to talk to anymore. My friends and family are getting sick of me :(

amicon · Nov 10, 2009, 12:30 AM

Come back here and vent when you need to.
And maybe change that phone number?:-)

natalie25 · Nov 10, 2009, 08:16 AM

Thank you. But one more thing. Some people say I should call or text and ask why he said that. But I've already tried to get him back once. I feel like ill just get let down again. If he wanted to be with me shouldn't he contact me?

amicon · Nov 10, 2009, 08:20 AM

Yes and he s not knocking on your door begging you to take him back is he? Protect your heart and ignore him.

bjohnrupp · Nov 10, 2009, 11:45 AM

Originally Posted by natalie25

thank you. but one more thing. some people say i should call or text and ask why he said that. but ive already tried to get him back once. i feel like ill just get let down again. if he wanted to be with me shouldnt he contact me??

Just listen to my advice- Don't EVER TALK TO HIM AGAIN... dont respond to any texts, emails, IM'S Facebook nothing... move on, move on

88sunflower · Nov 10, 2009, 12:20 PM

I think everyone is right and to just move on. Why did he tell you this drunk? Maybe taking him off your Facebook hit a nerve with him because he thought you would be pining over him longer. Its possible he doesn't like the idea of you moving on and his feelings are mixed since the break up is still new. I would just let it be. Alcohol was involved in his choice to tell you he loved you. When I have drinks I love everyone. I am sure he has feelings for you but he made a bad choice in the way to show you. Keep doing what your doing and move forward with you life.

asking · Nov 10, 2009, 12:37 PM

I don't think people necessarily tell the truth when drunk. I think nobody likes being rejected and he feels bad that you appear to have moved on. He may think that the pain he's feeling means he loves you, but it doesn't. I doubt he really knows whether he loves you or not. I think if he was really in love, he would have told you before the break up.

You do NOT want him to chase you. You want him to move on with his own life.

DON'T ask him anything. It will only lead to trouble and you will end up feeling bad either way.

This one is closest to the truth, I think:

Or is he just trying to keep me hanging around until he figures out what he wants?

abc_abc_abc · Nov 10, 2009, 01:28 PM

Originally Posted by natalie25

if he wanted to be with me shouldnt he contact me??

If someone loves u he will find a way to talk to you,but not to send text message once and than keep silence.

I wish · Nov 10, 2009, 04:32 PM

Threads merged again

Please keep all questions regarding the same issue in the same thread so that we can follow your story and give you appropriate advice.

I suggest you follow the no contact rules:
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...qs-332732.html

And fight any urges that you have to talk to him:
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...es-351302.html

Any communication with him, whether he contacts you or vice versa will only add to the confusion and prolong the misery.

Block him out of your life until you've completely healed from this breakup. Once you've healed, you will be in a better position to revisit the situation because you will be more objective about the situation.

natalie25 · Nov 30, 2009, 07:01 PM

So we've been broken up for two months now. Its been a couple weeks since his I love you drunk text. Than a week ago he told my happy birthday and tried to talk to me. I did respond... Than thanksgiving he text my saying happy thanksgiving. I decided to not respond. Than two days later late at night I get a drunk text.. im sure he was drunk.. saying I miss you. And this time I didn't answer again. He hasn't said anything since. Why is he texting me? He's the one whowanted to break up. I know me not answering will help me heal. But will it scare him and maybe make him want to be with me? In some way I hope it does. Because I do still miss him. But I've decided to do the NC after 2 months. Which I should have done along time ago. So maybe it will freak him out? I just don't get men! Why does he keep bothering me, its like he's trying to keep me hanging around! Any adviceeee please?!

azif · Nov 30, 2009, 07:23 PM

He might miss you, but has anything changed? So things will end up just as before. Accept the messages for what they are, meaningless.

Alty · Nov 30, 2009, 10:09 PM

Originally Posted by natalie25

So we've been broken up for two months now. Its been a couple weeks since his i love you drunk text. Than a week ago he told my happy birthday and tried to talk to me. I did respond....Than thanksgiving he text my saying happy thanksgiving. I decided to not respond. Than two days later late at night i get a drunk text..im sure he was drunk..saying i miss you. And this time i didnt answer again. He hasnt said anything since. Why is he texting me? hes the one whowanted to break up. I know me not answering will help me heal. But will it scare him and maybe make him want to be with me? In some way i hope it does. because i do still miss him. But ive decided to do the NC after 2 months. Which i should have done along time ago. So maybe it will freak him out? I just dont get men!! Why does he keep bothering me, its like hes trying to keep me hanging around!! Any adviceeee please?!???!!

He's contacting you because he feels guilty for breaking up with you. You took it hard, he felt bad, now he thinks that he has to make amends some how. He also doesn't want you to hate him. No one does.

Will he come back? I doubt it. If you're ignoring him simply to make that happen then you're never going to heal and move on.

No Contact is a way of getting over a person, not a way to win them back.

Stick to NC and get on with your life. I guarantee he's getting on with his.

fearxfear · Nov 30, 2009, 10:12 PM

All it is... is words... it doesn't change anything... I'm going through a breakup now and I been in NC for a month and I slip up a few days ago and trust me, every time u slip up.. you fall back in your healing process.. trying to figure out what everything means. It best to change your number and stop the pain before it comes. Coming from a guy and bunch of us here... if I want you to know I love you, I'm pretty sure I'm going to try harder then a text message.

natalie25 · Nov 30, 2009, 10:55 PM

Thanks for the advice guys

88sunflower · Dec 1, 2009, 07:36 AM

Originally Posted by fearxfear

all it is ... is words ... it doesn't change anything ... I'm going through a breakup now and I been in NC for a month and i slip up a few days ago and trust me, every time u slip up .. you fall back in your healing process .. trying to figure out what everything means. It best to change your number and stop the pain before it comes. Coming from a guy and bunch of us here... if I want you to know I love you, I'm pretty sure i'm going to try harder then a text message.

Good answer fear. I am glad to see your understanding the no contact and can now support others.

Devorameira · Dec 1, 2009, 07:56 AM

The sad truth is, having vastly different schedules can be a major impediment to romance.
Relationships take two things - time and effort. Some people really don't have the time to make the effort and understand that it's better to avoid the whole mess at this point in their life instead of getting into something with someone knowing that it's only going to end in heartbreak for both parties.

Don't put your life on hold for him. Move on with your life. Go out with friends, date, and have fun while you're young. :)