[CanIBuyAClue]

Ohsohappy - haha, no problem, confused is beyond what she is lol. I don't think I'm ever getting involved with anybody ever again who has ultra-religious parents. I mean, I am a Christian, but I am not super insane crazy Christian, and going to judge and meddle in other's affairs.

Jmw - thanks for continued input, I do continue to just do my thing. I had a really great commission month last month so that makes me very happy. It's very funny, if I'm around the same part of the building that she is, the sound of her voice has just become like nails on a chalkboard to me... seriously. Isn't it funny when you can not see somebody for roughly a month and a half and just be like... I have no idea who you are anymore. I have walked past her, and been around her for a couple of days now, and I just don't don't even want to talk to her or even look at her. From what I can tell she has seriously become her mom. I continue to just keep ripping up the gym and socking away money. It's funny I was talking with another friend at work who I workout with and talk with outside of work who is a pretty cute girl, older than me by a few years, and there's absolutely nada going on with us romantically... and who I've kind of vented to about my whole situation... regarding her being back at my building and she was like --- 'yeah I saw that, how's that going. You know it's funny, and I could be way off here, but I think she hates me now, or doesn't like me, because I looked at her and smiled and just got the cold shoulder'. I was just thinking to myself, oh goodness...

I'm looking at planning a trip to Europe within a year, and it's funny because had we still been together I was going to take her with me and probably would've proposed to her on that trip. Oh well, I don't think she quite knows it yet, but she'll get a reality check about life here eventually and the whole wanting to move out of state and go to a public university down there (while I wonder how on Earth will you pay for that?)... which sucks because as much as I tried to avoid that for her, I don't want to see her get hurt. But it's not my place, and I can't do anything about it anymore.

[CanIBuyAClue]

So I happened to run into the ex on a break today. Pretty much had to chit chat, because I did not want an awkward silence. I asked nothing about what she'd been up to, and didn't break into a whole lot of detail when asked about things that I've been doing. She did happen to mention that her doctor thinks that she might be going through some depression, and is prescribing some things for her to do. I don't want to sound like a terrible person and that I delight in her agony, because I don't, I'm not happy to hear that she may be depressed (we're coming up on almost 4 months -next week- since she initially ended things), but it did make me feel good that everything is not all rosy fields on the other side by the breaker. I guess more or less for everybody out there who was dumped and currently hurting badly, and they think that their ex is just living the high life now without them, it's not always the case.

P.S. - I would be depressed too if I had given up such a catch as myself ;) .

[ohsohappy]

P.S. - I would be depressed too if I had given up such a catch as myself ;) .

HAHAH Smart A** =P
It's good that you're still confident in yourself. :)

[CanIBuyAClue]

HAHAH Smart A** =P
It's good that you're still confident in yourself. :)

Haha of course I am still confident in myself! I can't say that I'm totally over her by any means yet, I mean she is my first love (I had other girlfriends/dating for a few months, nothing too serious before this), but all of the 2nd/3rd looks I get by girls, and just looking in the mirror everyday I love what I see. And as I said earlier, if somebody else can't see it, it is their loss.

P.S. - I will say, that there is a part of me that loves that she will have to see me and how good that I'm looking / doing, at least for a short while. Time to make her suffer some... in a nice way :)

[ohsohappy]

Oh boy. I'm just going to leave that one alone, I don't even know where to start. But I'm going to say this, Don't place too much value on appearances.

[CanIBuyAClue]

Oh I don't trust me, and I always told her that I loved her for her personality and what was inside her. I am not that superficial, which is why I was offended when she insinuated confusingly if our attraction is all just physical, as if I'm some kind of neanderthal idiot with nothing else to offer.

[ohsohappy]

Sad. :(

[talaniman]

Dontcha hate it when all females can see is your body? :mad:

[CanIBuyAClue]

Yeah, but I definitely know that I'm more than just my body so that doesn't affect me too much. It's funny how I was offended by that though, where some people may see it as a compliment. I'm one of the nicest / most sincere / caring guys you'll ever meet. I don't put too much stock in much of anything that she says anymore though. Plain and simple she does not know what she wants out of life right now. The "reasons" that's she has given for the breakup seemed to change every single time we talked. The truth is she doesn't know why she broke up with me, she just says stuff to try to validate her decision. It is, and will always be my belief that she finally just gave into what her parents (aka Mom) wanted for her -- which is to control her. Apparently the grass is not so much greener in Mommy's backyard though with the whole depression bit. I think she's just fishing for sympathy, but I'm just standing firm and not succumbing to offering to be there as the weeping shoulder.

[ohsohappy]

Dontcha hate it when all females can see is your body?? :mad:

Hahah funny you'd mention that. Because a lot of females feel the same way about men. :)

[CanIBuyAClue]

So just a little update. So she did show up to the company get together to celebrate somebody's work accomplishments. And it caught me off guard because I did not think she was coming. Anyway, just kind of avoided / ignored / didn't pay too much attention to her. But for some reason it just really pissed me off seeing her... I don't know what it was. It is weird to think that somebody you use to care about so much, and still do to a point, that you could feel that way towards them. Ugh... I had a near moment of weakness to call her after the thing got over and everybody was disbursing, but I resisted and thought it would be best that I do not. Argh... I just have some anger building in me about the whole thing.

[ohsohappy]

If you can find it on my posts, look for the question "how do I find myself?" I posted a comment that I think would really help you with the anger thing. About Triggers and emotions. If you can't find it let me know and I can copy and paste it for you. I just think it would help you calm down in this situation.

[CanIBuyAClue]

Thanks for the response, yeah I did find it. I will try to incorporate that and think about why I feel a certain way about something. I'm not angry to the point of punching walls or anything like that, it just really agitated me. I just got done doing a whole lot of push-ups lets say! :) I consulted with who other than... Mom lol when I got home. She more or less pointed out that probably part of why she showed up was to see how I was doing when she is around. And maybe if she succeeded in turning any feelings I had for her to being pissed off / upset when I see her. She hasn't changed any, and she's miserable (her recent mention of being tested for depression / low saratonin levels) and probably hopes that I'm miserable too. I don't know... I am just very happy with myself that I did not give the satisfaction of showing that I was agitated by her presence.

[ohsohappy]

Good for you! I hope that other post helped. It's not just for being "I'm gonna punch a wall" angry. LOL. Your mom sounds like a smart lady! :)

[broken_1]

With due respect, I am never comfortable dating super religious people. Your story sounds so much like a couple of my friends who had ultra-religious boyfriend or girlfriend, and all those breakups or drifting apart happened because priority of you and GOD was the most important question.

Personally speaking, I can be great friends with ultra-religious people, but for me, it's a red flag when it comes to dating.

I know I sound very biased, but those who have been in this situation, know what I am talking about. It took so much effort on my part to help my friend who was dating this girl who would discuss their sexual matters with the priest and behave that night based on what the priest advised her.

My concept is that LOVE is GOD, and if you are in LOVE, you already found GOD, so why is there a priority conflict?

Anyway- those who got hurt by my statement (cuz religious people are usually very touchy), I apologize, nothing personal OK?

[CanIBuyAClue]

No I'm not offended at all, and I've already told my friends that I am staying far away from girls with ultra religious parents, or are just super religious in the first place. Because look where it has gotten me... in not a good place (mentally anyway). This has been one of the most difficult things I've ever had to go through. It just boggles my mind how a girl can go from talk of wanting to marry you, and then no more than three weeks later breaking up with you because all of a sudden priorities are different. It's just really ****ed up in my opinion.

[amicon]

Try not to dwell upon what was said-that was then.concentrate on staying focused and moving forward with your life.

[jmw0713]

She didn't see you in her plans and got rid of you. Now you need to move forward with your plans and leave her in the past.

[CanIBuyAClue]

So I thought I'd update, although my updates are really boring nowadays because I've cut all of the drama regarding this situation. Haven't spoken to her in like... 2 months or so?? Who knows I'm not keeping track anymore. And more importantly, I haven't seen her in roughly over two months... which is great because I hate seeing her because it reminds me of who I was with, and that's not her anymore. I had to call her about something work related a couple of months back, just a quick conversation and that was it though. She tried calling me at work a few weeks ago for help regarding something and I just ignored her, she must have got the hint since then... because she hasn't tried calling since lol. It's actually been nice, I'm getting to the point where she is not the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning. I know that a part of me still loves her, but I think it's more or less the part that misses the good times that we have. All in all I'm pretty happy with my progress. I haven't drank any alcohol in 4 months, and have only had about 2 beers since we initially broke up. I've lost 24 lbs. in under six months. I'm down to low, low teens in body fat %, and I can bench 70 lbs. more than my body weight right now and overall I'm just looking dang good in general! Still haven't pursued dating at all, mainly because I've been too busy with stuff I do by myself... I'll just let that come naturally, I'm not going to force the issue... and I don't really have it on my mind to be honest. So yep, that's pretty much what is going on... :)

[bjohnrupp]

So I thought I'd update, although my updates are really boring nowadays because I've cut all of the drama regarding this situation. Haven't spoken to her in like... 2 months or so??? Who knows I'm not keeping track anymore. And more importantly, I haven't seen her in roughly over two months... which is great because I hate seeing her because it reminds me of who I was with, and that's not her anymore. I had to call her about something work related a couple of months back, just a quick conversation and that was it though. She tried calling me at work a few weeks ago for help regarding something and I just ignored her, she must have got the hint since then... because she hasn't tried calling since lol. It's actually been nice, I'm getting to the point where she is not the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning. I know that a part of me still loves her, but I think it's more or less the part that misses the good times that we have. All in all I'm pretty happy with my progress. I haven't drank any alcohol in 4 months, and have only had about 2 beers since we initially broke up. I've lost 24 lbs. in under six months. I'm down to low, low teens in body fat %, and I can bench 70 lbs. more than my body weight right now and overall I'm just looking dang good in general! Still haven't pursued dating at all, mainly because I've been too busy with stuff I do by myself... I'll just let that come naturally, I'm not going to force the issue... and I don't really have it on my mind to be honest. So yep, that's pretty much what is going on... :)

Hey man- good for you. You're where I want to be and hopefully will get there soon enough with some hard work. Sounds like you've been doing great with the working out aspect and also not drinking. I know what you mean when you say "shes not even the same person anymore"... its funny how when you see the ex'es after they dump you you see them in a whole new light.