Ex Girlfriend confusing the heck out of me.
Ok so like many others I guess I'll try to summarize my situation as clearly and concisely as possible. So my now ex-girlfriend (We're both in early - mid 20's) and I had been dating for a little under 13 months when she decided to break up with me. The 13 months were good. 3 months into our relationship she went on a bible retreat / getaway with one of her friends who doesn't really care for me for reasons I'm unaware of. She would always tell her you shouldn't be dating like this, yadda yadda.. but they went away for the weekend and when she came back she broke up with me... total shocker, because at that time everything was great too. But after that, we got back together a couple weeks later. And things had been really good, with normal relationship ups and downs I guess, but no big fights, like I said all good.
Her parents are devout Christians, and didn't like her dating me, and they didn't even know me. We would go hang out and everything would be OK, and they would be nice to me and me likewise, but the stuff that they would say to her behind my back really got at me. She comes from a fairly strong Christian background, and I went to Church as a little kid, I stopped going when my parents stopped forcing me to go :) I would go with her, but if we went to the Church her parents went to I wouldn't really be thrilled about it, and it would kind of show. I may not have a religious upbringing, but my parents have instilled in me strong Christian-like values, so jumping back into my faith has been fairly easy, and quite rewarding. Anyway, one morning we kind of got into our first "fight" I guess you could call it... FYI we've never yelled or raised our voices at each other or anything physical, we just more or less both left upset with each other once we were done. If you guessed it, our debate was about faith and I was just pointing out people who pervert religion and use it to their will, etc... as to show that just because you go to Church doesn't mean you're a better person that somebody that doesn't blah blah blah. So anyway, we both left upset and apparently her Mom and friend's mom (who has never met me) prayed with her and they didn't think she had met her husband (ok, so that's a mom that doesn't like me because I'm different, and a lady whom I've never met assessing our relationship just for those keeping score at home). Anyway, she came over later that day and talked about how she think our goals in life our different, we have different time frames, yadda yadda and we essentially broke up. For a few weeks I just couldn't understand it, so we tried establishing boundaries but I'll admit I pushed it some because I had to know what went wrong... I mean just like 2-3 weeks ago you were talking to me about getting married. So anyway, over the course of meeting a few times over the next few weeks tears were shed, there was a little bit of pleading, asking for another chance, saying we could change stuff... you know, all that stuff you're not supposed to do LOL, and looking back on it I'm embarrassed for myself. She said she still loved me, but was not in love with me... (yeah, that line lol). She said that she needed to learn how to put God first in her life, and that by being with me she can't not focus on me, or have me not be her top priority.
Not to go into too much detail. After that I went NC for about 10 days or so... really evaluated things. I called her and let her know I agreed with the breakup, we were starting to suffocate each other a bit, but I also felt that she was really stressed out with a lot of stuff going on in her life. I let her know that I missed her friendship though. So we did hang out as friends and things were really good, we were just like we were before... and that of course lead to physical stuff. I initiated a lot of it at first, but more recently she had been the one initiating it, and she was acting like she did when we were together. Anyway, we met up recently and once again, were physical (no sex, I drew the line there - for several reasons) sent her home leaving on Cloud 9. Everything was good, I didn't have any expectations at this point, because she would say she was still really confused. But then we met up just to do something lax and she says I don't think we can hang out anymore, because I don't like how I'm acting, and giving you false hope / mixed signals. I'm like... I know that you're confused (her actions say one thing when she is with me, but then her words say something different two days later). So anyway, all of our conversations had been really rushed lately due to other activities we have going on, but I was just like, well I would like to talk to you tonight about it a little more just for closure etc... waited and waited, never called (I knew she had prior plans) but she did finally call early in the morning and I didn't answer (I felt ignored at this point). She then text me and thought I was guilt tripping her (for asking for less than a hour of her time to just talk). That kind of irritated me, so anyway I've gone back into NC after that... been about 3 days and don't plan on breaking NC at this point, although I know I will run into her at some point in the next couple weeks... but at this point I need to back off and just let NC do what it does... because I know that she is still way into me, but is stuck on putting God first in her life. I know that backing off for now is just what needs to happen (just FYI - we've been equally responsible for initiating contact between each other).
I've found solace in the fact that everybody I tell (not just my friends) that she broke up with me, they're like wait... SHE broke up with YOU? I mean.. I'm a really nice guy, treat her awesome, tall, good looking, muscular and in shape, college educated, good job, money saved, etc... I do love her unconditionally, but I don't deserve to be treated this way you know? As in kind of strung along...
So anyway, I've just been sitting back improving myself (ever since our official break up now 2 months ago), hitting up the gym twice a day and getting ripped (I'm already pretty darn chiseled - dropped about 7-8 lbs. in the less than 2 months), finding my faith by myself, and keeping busy with other things. Anybody care to offer any additional insight? Sorry for going on so long.
