[starlite1]

A letter to my ex...

Dear E,

How are you? I hope the consulting job is going well, and the traveling is going smoothly. I'm sorry I haven't called recently. I wanted to contact you so badly, but, I wasn't sure if you wanted to hear from me. Honey, I am so sorry that I said what I said. I really do want to spend my life with you and be your wife. The reason I got cold feet is due to the past; the fact that you kept running away. I was nervous that once I moved to Georgia, and if God for bid we ever had a disagreement, argument, or any situation that couples go through, you would leave or emotionally yo-yo again. Baby, I want to be in it the for the long haul, and I need to feel secure with you, and unfortunately, I didn't because of your prior actions. I don't want you to ever have a wall up with me, I want to know what you need, baby. I know I am emotional at times, but so is everyone, and I am willing to try and keep myself in check, especially with my insecurties. Honey, I really want to talk about us, and reconcile. I know that you are hurt, and maybe you feel that you can't trust me now because I left the relationship this time, but, please let me back in, and lets talk. I have taken you back in the past, I ask that you would offer me the same. The love we have for one another has already been established. Let us please get past this hurdle, work on us, together. I love you, E... more than you can imagine.

PS - I am looking forward to going to the concert and spending time with you. I hope you still would like me there.

Love always and forever,
Karen

I really want to send this to him...

Any advise/comments on this would be greatly appreciated..

[starlite1]

Hi Everyone, should I send what I wrote (above) or do you think he would blow it off? What do you think? I don't want to sound pushy, or needy, or anything...

[ISneezeFunny]

I don't want to sound pushy, or needy, or anything...

... not too pushy.

Needy... a bit.

Starlite, I've been following your story on and off... and it seems to me that the overall consensus on this forum has been, "Don't contact him...wait until he contacts you."

However, you're probably more in the right as no one here knows you, your ex, your relationship, or your situation. With that said, by sending that letter, you need to be aware that he may say multiple things:

1. he might say, OK. Let's get back together.
2. or NO. I hate you. Get out of my life forever.

Or the alternate

I found someone else. Sorry.

... You need to be ready for ALL of these, and by ready, I don't mean for you to say, "Yeah, I'm prepared." But really... be absolutely ready. If you're OK with ANY of these three, then fine. Send your letter. If you're not prepped to hear anything but #1... then you may have a tough time dealing with what happens afterwards.

[starlite1]

Hi Sneeze,

You are right... I really want to here #1. I will hold off on sending this to him. I will wait and see if he contacts me down the road.

I know I can't go down the road of 'i should have, would have, could have', but I could have, should have, would have giving this a really great chance. My God, I love this man... I know my fears were valid in a way, but hell, my insecurites probably got in my way too... Dammit!! :( :( :(

[ISneezeFunny]

I also know that many of us, we feel that if we didn't do that ONE thing, or if we changed that ONE behavior, things would have worked out, then we blame ourselves for it.

In all honesty, you realize down the road that... that's really not it. Sure, you have faults, but the thing we don't realize is how many faults that our exes also had. Faults aren't the problem... it's that the faults didn't mesh well.

Another thing we have to realize is that if we got back with our exes, chances are (there are exceptions... ), those problems will come back. Not within a week, not within a month, but sometime down the road. That's why we take this "nc" time to get ourselves into better shape... to become a better person, then go from there.

Keep your head up. We're all rootin for you.

[little firefly]

Hi Sneeze,

You are right...I really want to here #1. I will hold off on sending this to him. I will wait and see if he contacts me down the road.

I know I can't go down the road of 'i should have, would have, could have', but I could have, should have, would have giving this a really great chance. My God, i love this man...I know my fears were valid in a way, but hell, my insecurites probably got in my way too....Dammit!!! :( :( :(

You are very wise to hold off sending that. Having been down that road myself I know how hard it can be to maintain no contact, but believe me that's the best thing for you to do. I made a mistake shortly after my breakup by trying to get back in touch with my ex. He told me that he was seeing someone else and that he was in love with her. Needless to say I was devastated! Don't risk putting yourself through that. If he wants contact he knows where to find you. Just focus on yourself, and remember. As bad as you think things are right now, they WILL get better, trust me!! :)

[starlite1]

Thank you Sneezy and Firefly,

You are all so great. I know you are right. It hurts, because, there is always a chance that he may never contact me again... I hope and pray that isn't the case...

[jolienoire]

Dear Jerk I mean John

Dear John,

I am writing this letter to express my earnest feelings towards you. How could I have ever lived with you? You take my breath away literally! Whenever you speak to me I would almost pass out. Remember that time you whispered in my ear and I passed out? I would never forget that day because I offered you gum and you refused it broke my heart and stomach. How could you do that to me for 2 long years? How could you be so selfish? Again I forgave you for that because I wanted to love you unconditionally but that was not enough for you. I keep thinking I will never find anyone as special as you are. Remember when you wrote me that email and said that you would break up with me for not “believeing you” and I told you that you had it all wrong. You didn't listen to me because you would have known that you misspelled believing wrong. But again you didn't care. I was hurt when you told all of your friends about our sex life, and I was so disappointed that you left out the real facts. I didn't even realize that we were intimate because I was too busy talking to my friend on the phone. Oh remember that promise ring you gave me. That was the sweetest thing you have done, and I am very grateful that you remembered I was allergic to fake jewelry and had to get a tetanus shot from it tarnishing. You really left a loving impression on me in which I will never forget. You love me so much that on my birthday you sent me flowers that had someone else name on the card. I know it was the florist fault. They sent the wrong flowers, even though you were the one who delivered them. Wow! You are special! I just wanted to write this letter to Thank you For allowing me to see what a real looser you are and thanks for being so caring and doing me a favor of breaking up. I was getting really tired of faking it. Anyway, I must go now and celebrate our break up. By the time you reach this I hope you are in good spirits, and tell your new girlfriend she is lucky to have someone like you. I wish I was her right now so I can slap the tastelessness right out of you.

With much Love

Jerk-free

[starlite1]

Hi Jolienoire,

That letter was excellent! YOU GO GIRL! :) :)

I am sorry that he treated you that way, you definatley deserve better!

[jolienoire]

Lol, It is my way of coping when writing a letter to help you get over someone I find that if you instead of putting them on a pedastal write all of the things wrong it helps with the healing process.. This is just from my personal experience, it is not that you are being mean but if it helps your own sanity, then I would suggest it.

[ISneezeFunny]

... jolienoire...

... where do you meet people like that?!

Fake jewelry. Wrong name on flowers.

... if you're going to be a bad boyfriend, at least be GOOD at being a bad boyfriend. Holy crap.

[jolienoire]

...jolienoire...

...where do you meet people like that?!?

fake jewelry. wrong name on flowers.

...if you're going to be a bad boyfriend, at least be GOOD at being a bad boyfriend. holy crap.

Oh No, Not me... not with fake jewelry and flowers... But I did write a break up letter it was just a sample.. but you know this did happen to my friend she became vulnerable from her divorce and started to date lets just say men she would have never given a chance...

[cduncman19]

Dearest Erin,

I watched P.S. I Love You last night and got inspired, you know me =). You don't have to read any further, I will never know, but this will be the last letter. You were right about the movie, it was amazing. I still hadn't really gotten through the denial of what's happened, but watching that let me just cut loose and let out everything I had been keeping in, you would have laughed at how emotional I was. The beginning where he hits himself in the eye and she stubs her toe had me laughing out loud because it reminded me of how things always went with us, whether that be me having to walk around downtown in the beater cause I spilled gatorade all over my shirt or how the movies we went to or rented were always so terrible. I need to let you go, so I wanted to write you this letter, something people don't do enough of anymore. The Duncan jersey is for you to do whatever you wish, for me it's a part of you that I am still carrying with me, so I am returning this piece of me that you left here. When I told Sarah I felt like I needed to write you she got mad at me, told me how life wasn't a movie, and I couldn't agree more, but it should be. Thank you for helping me get to where I am, helping me finish school, and being there for me to support me and let me know that there are a lot of great things in the future. I had an interview with Eli Lilly today and I got accepted to P.A. school at Midwestern, so please, whenever you feel like things are too heavy for you to carry and that things aren't going to work out, I hope that you know how many opportunities there are for you and how successful you will be if you just don't give up. Thank you for all the laughter we had, I haven't ever laughed as much with anyone as I've laughed with you, you truly were my best friend. I've realized that loving someone means wanting someone to be happy, whether that be having that person in your life, or letting them move on to the things that they want for their future. It was a gift and a privilege to learn and grow in love with you. So here is me really letting you go, forgiving you for how things ended between us and telling you how much you moved me, how you changed me. You made me a man, by loving me Erin. And for that, I am grateful. If you could promise me anything, I hope that whenever you're sad, or unsure, or you lose complete faith, that you'll try to see yourself through my eyes. Thank you for the time we spent together, what I've learned will help me more than you know. I'm a man with no regrets and for this, I do feel lucky. When we see each other in our new lives I'll smile at you with joy and remember how we loved and learned for one another.

May God bless and keep you
Chris

P.S. I Love You

(I feel like sending this to my ex, I feel like this would help me release all of the things I'm keeping inside, and give me the chance to resolve the situation on my own terms)

[starlite1]

Hi Chris,

That is absolutley beautiful. I actually got teary while reading it. It sounds like Erin was a special woman, and means a whole lot to you. And I'm sure she knows how lucky she was to have had been in your life. If you feel that sending this letter to her would help you get closure, then I feel that is good thing. You just want to be certain that that is really what your intention is. Please don't misunderstand that statement, I do not mean it in a mean or negative way. You just want to make sure that you are ready to let go, and move on from her. Good Luck!

[f104]

Dear K. I do love you and part of me always will. I do not know what I did wrong that precicpiatated you leaving me. I wish I knew and at the moment parf of me wishes you would come back. I am still in that crazy place where I think I will never meet another woman as great as you(silly I know but that is what I am feeling). I really wish that you would get hit by a car at the moment and I am wishing great harm to your family. Don't worry these are only thoughts not actions and they will pass.

I have been crying over you everyday since you dumped me. I just wish I knew what I did or didn't do. I look at my phone constantly hoping it will ring. I check my e-mail hoping it is you saying you want to take me back. I miss you so much and I love you and it hurts and I feel silly.

We talked about marriage and kids and all manner of things. K. I love you and deep down inside I just want you to be happy. I don't want anything bad to happen to you. You are an increcible, beautiful, smart, funny and lovely person. I just wish you had chosen to stick by me. I want to call you, but I know you will not answer the phone. I know I just need to recognize that you do not want me in your life. I just wish I knew what I did wrong. All the best, Love, me.

[starlite1]

Dear K. I do love you and part of me always will. I do not know what I did wrong that precicpiatated you leaving me. I wish I knew and at the moment parf of me wishes you would come back. I am still in that crazy place where I think I will never meet another woman as great as you(silly I know but that is what I am feeling). I really wish that you would get hit by a car at the moment and I am wishing great harm to your family. Don't worry these are only thoughts not actions and they will pass.

I have been crying over you everyday since you dumped me. I just wish I knew what I did or didn't do. I look at my phone constantly hoping it will ring. I check my e-mail hoping it is you saying you want to take me back. I miss you so much and I love you and it hurts and I feel silly.

We talked about marriage and kids and all manner of things. K. I love you and deep down inside I just want you to be happy. I don't want anything bad to happen to you. You are an increcible, beautiful, smart, funny and lovely person. I just wish you had chosen to stick by me. I want to call you, but I know you will not answer the phone. I know I just need to recognize that you do not want me in your life. I just wish I knew what I did wrong. All the best, Love, me.

Hi f104,

That was really well written. How are you doing? How was your weekend?

[f104]

Hi Star thanks for the compliment. My weekend was okay. How was yours?

[starlite1]

Hi Star thanks for the compliment. My weekend was okay. How was yours?

Hi F104,

It was all right. I was thinking of him/missing him all weekend. Tried keeping busy, but he was in my thoughts all weekend. I know I am going to see him in July, and I want to talk with him, and tell him I didn't mean to break up and I didn't mean what I said about me not being able to ever get married or move there, but the truth is I want to, on all accounts. I really need him to know why I said what I said, and understand it. I want to work things out, I just don't want him to yo-yo any more. I know, because of the way he is, when I bring all this up and say I want to have us back, he will most likely say 'I'll think about it" then weeks/months may go by and he will either say 'No' and then all of a sudden come back months later. I really hope he still feels the love for me, and this has a positive outcome this time... I don't know how to get through to him... Being a man, do you know how I should handle this?

I'm sorry for going off on a tangent... How are you? How was your weekend?

[freeatlast1]

I really hope he still feels the love for me, and this has a positive outcome this time...I don't know how to get through to him...Being a man, do you know how I should handle this?

I think there's nothing you can do to control another person. He's proven his yo-yo behavior over years, so it seems to be a part of his mo. I think the best thing you can do is have a busy life and if he comes around, so much the better. But you can't revolve around him.

However, I know it's easier said than done. Believe me, I know.

[starlite1]

Hi freeatlast,

You are right, and that is the thing. I don't want to control him, I want him to come back because he really wants to. I just love this man so much, and I really wish he would look inside of himself and see why I said what I said. I don't mean to lay blame on him, but that was the reasoning behind my actions. I want to work on things, together...