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Flame81052 · Aug 7, 2010, 04:03 PM

I don't know if it did or not. But spilling my guts to anyone in this town bothers me a lot. I don't know who it will get back to. I'm just not comfortable talking to anyone here. I can't explain the bad feelings I get from thinking about that. I just know I'm not safe here.
What are you a counselor of? If you don't mind me asking.

Wondergirl · Aug 7, 2010, 04:08 PM

Originally Posted by Flame81052

What are you a counselor of? If you don't mind me asking.

Check my Profile for info about me.

So what can you do to find a lawyer?

Flame81052 · Aug 7, 2010, 04:10 PM

I have looked at some that were on the list you sent me, and sent emails to them using a secure name and email. I guess I have to start there. My other issue is how to get away without him knowing what I'm doing, to talk to one for a consultation.

ScottGem · Aug 7, 2010, 04:16 PM

My other issue is how to get away without him knowing what I'm doing, to talk to one for a consultation.

Doesn't he work? Don't you have to go out to do shopping etc. If the children aren't at home you should have plenty of time.

Flame81052 · Aug 7, 2010, 04:24 PM

He does work, finally. But insists that I answer or reply in a timely manner to any and all phone calls/text even at work. Fortunately my employer understands my situation, what little I have revealed to her. HE is the king... and requires a run down of the days events every night. I'm in hell here...

Wondergirl · Aug 7, 2010, 04:38 PM

Originally Posted by Flame81052

HE is the king..........and requires a run down of the days events every night. I'm in hell here........

Has he ever hurt you physically? What if he doesn't like your answers?

Flame81052 · Aug 7, 2010, 04:41 PM

He has, in the past. He's too scared for me to go to work now with marks on my face. If he doesn't like my answers he belittles me until I feel like crap about myself/the world in general, and blame myself for being a screw up and not doing what I was told to do in the first place. Now do you see the narcissm? I know now that I am an instiator for his illness, and I have to stop it. When I tell him no, or not to talk to me that way, he does threaten me with physical harm. His mother does too. They have been my bullies for 15 yrs. It's going to end now. Doing more research online, and a few places are saying that I can take the kids out of the state if I want, and wait out residency there, then file for divorce.

Wondergirl · Aug 7, 2010, 04:45 PM

Originally Posted by Flame81052

Doing more research online, and a few places are saying that I can take the kids out of the state if I want, and wait out residency there, then file for divorce.

Be sure you know what you're doing, or you could lose your kids forever.

Flame81052 · Aug 7, 2010, 04:51 PM

I will talk to an attorney before I do anything. I will.

ScottGem · Aug 7, 2010, 04:52 PM

You need to contact a shelter or support group for battered women. They can advise you better on the legalities. I don't know what sites are telling you that you can take the kids and wait out residency and then file, but I don't buy it. If you take the kids from his parents house and disappear you WILL be guilty of parental kidnapping. And that will not look good.

Fr_Chuck · Aug 7, 2010, 06:43 PM

Yes, I would say that you need an attorney NOW, and that the kids should be with YOU, and if husband needs to be somewhere else he should be at his mom, That to me was mistake one, or even letting him back after all of this.

But you have a lot of rights, you need to start using them and doing what has to be done

cdad · Aug 8, 2010, 05:51 AM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

I don't know what sites are telling you that you can take the kids and wait out residency and then file, but I don't buy it. If you take the kids from his parents house and disappear you WILL be guilty of parental kidnapping. And that will not look good.

The part about leaving the state and setting up residence is true. But there is a caveat to it. It can be done so long as "he" doesn't file before the residency requirement is met. Until such time they have equal rights to the child and there is nothing that can be done. Also if Im understanding correctly, the children currently are living out of state at the parents house. If they have been out of state long enough there may be a way to get a protective order in place in that state so long as they (the children) have met the residency requirement. Either way this case can be complicated very quickly and as Scott has said you really need the legal advice of a professional in your area. We can only provide generalities because we don't know enough about your situation and would never ask you to reveal it here because of safety concerns. Find a lawyer as quick as you can and get out of this mess.