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AH1974 · Jul 21, 2009, 04:01 PM

I have been divorced for 4 years. My X husband lives with his parents. Whom watch my children when I have to work or go to college. He does not work, does not pay child support. Is in and out of jail. I have recently lost my job and gone back to college. When it is over I want to move from VA to OKLA to live with my family. I was told by my divorce lawyer (who didn't deal with out child support ordeal) that I should give 30 day notice as to me leaving. My oldest does not want to go. She is 14. I do NOT want to leave her here. I Won't leave her here. I'm not sure what to do. Do I have to get "permission" my the courts to leave? There is NOTHING in the joint custody/child support papers about leaving the state. His parents will certainly try to fight me taking the kids. But on what grounds?

ScottGem · Jul 21, 2009, 04:03 PM

Does the father or his parents have visitation?

AH1974 · Jul 21, 2009, 04:39 PM

He opted for no set visitation. Its reads " visitation will be as mutually agreed upon" and he has never asked to take them anywhere. Has never taken them anywhere. His argument will be "i see them everyday" because his parents watch them for me when I work

ScottGem · Jul 21, 2009, 04:57 PM

BUT the court gave him visitation rights. Whether there is a set schedule or not the cort order establishes visitation. And, since a pattern of visitation has been established, I think the court is going to side with him and you will have a tough time getting your move approved.

AH1974 · Jul 21, 2009, 06:10 PM

So his alcholism and in and out of jail and no divers license, no job and paying child support will have no bearing on it?

AH1974 · Jul 21, 2009, 06:11 PM

If it were HIM wanting to leave the state there would be no problem. He could up and leave whenever he wants to. How is this justice? I guess I will have to call a lawyer tomorrow and find out what to do.

ScottGem · Jul 21, 2009, 07:13 PM

But he's not the custodial parent. If the situation was reversed and he was the custodial parent then you could prevent him from moving. That's why there is justice in this.

And with all his alcoholism, and being in and out of jail, you are still willing to leave your kids with his parents so that he has full access to them. And you had kids with him.

Fr_Chuck · Jul 21, 2009, 07:16 PM

And him not paying, how many times have you taken him back to court for this, how many times has he been held in contempt ?

Have you turned him over to child support enforcement.

But in the end, he still has visit rights and he or the court will have to OK your move.

If you move without courts permission, he can file a motion to force you back, or to give him the kids.

AH1974 · Jul 21, 2009, 07:59 PM

I would NEVER leave without the courts permission. And when he is drinking my kids are NOT allowed over there THANK YOU. He wasn't in and out of jail nor did he have a drinking problem when I was with him THANK YOU. I HAVE gone to court numerous times over him not paying and the judge asked him if he was working yet, he said no and MANY times the judge turned to me and said "what do you want me to do about it?" THANK YOU for your kind help, ill seek REAL LEGAL advice now :) have a blessed evening!

stevetcg · Jul 21, 2009, 08:09 PM

Originally Posted by AH1974

i would NEVER leave without the courts permission. and when he is drinking my kids are NOT allowed over there THANK YOU. he wasnt in and out of jail nor did he have a drinking problem when i was with him THANK YOU. i HAVE gone to court numerous times over him not paying and the judge asked him if he was working yet, he said no and MANY times the judge turned to me and said "what do you want me to do about it?" THANK YOU for your kind help, ill seek REAL LEGAL advice now :) have a blessed evening!

A lawyer isn't going to tell you anything different... unless it means you pay him more. Then he will be happy to tell you anything. The judge is still going to side with the father.

ScottGem · Jul 22, 2009, 03:09 PM

Originally Posted by AH1974

i would NEVER leave without the courts permission. and when he is drinking my kids are NOT allowed over there THANK YOU. he wasnt in and out of jail nor did he have a drinking problem when i was with him THANK YOU. i HAVE gone to court numerous times over him not paying and the judge asked him if he was working yet, he said no and MANY times the judge turned to me and said "what do you want me to do about it?" THANK YOU for your kind help, ill seek REAL LEGAL advice now :) have a blessed evening!

Umm, you think the advice you have gotten isn't real. Go ahead contact an attorney and see if he tells you anything different. The facts are that he was granted visitation rights. As such he can block your move. That's the LAW!