[HistorianChick]

You two have different goals... why run the race together when you're running in opposite directions?

I read all the posts in this thread and haven't changed my belief that if two people are not on the same track with marriage/not marriage, they have no future. You said it yourself. You know that your future with this guy is to remain as you are--that is until he finds someone else.

It is obvious that you value the commitment that comes with marriage; he doesn't. I don't see how those two diametrically opposite opinions can foster a healthy relationship.

If you want to continue living in the dream world that he will one day change his mine, that is your choice. But, if it was me, I'd tell him that you want a future, you don't want just now.

You don't want someone who is leaving the door open for if he finds someone better, you want someone who knows that you're "it."

And it is not wrong to want that.

[talaniman]

I have to say your up against a real brick wall. This where you stop and think about what kind of future there is with someone who lives at home at 30, and is not willing to take a risk for any reason.

He is not marriage material. That's obvious.

Another thing that stands out in your posts is your seeing others without connection. There is a reason for that as you have skipped the whole healing process, and tried to jump into something your not ready for. To do that, you must accept the end of this relationship. You have not, so forget dating others for now.

While its obvious you both are comfortable with this dating arrangement you have, your already wanting more and this fellow cannot give it to you. This is where the rubber meets the road, and to prevent running head first into the aforementioned brick wall its time to think of either busting your head open, or rethinking a better way to get over that wall, cause you sure ain't going through it.

If the last 2 years have taught you anything, its he likes what he has and marriage is not in his future, with you, or any one.

Disappear from his life, heal, and look around and see how you feel, as you rebuild a life that you enjoy without him, or accept he will always be just a date.

Which do you want?