[liz28]

He travels a lot due to his job and yoou know this and if you can't accept this then maybe you should quit while your ahead. Missing someone isn't a bad thing and while he is away you should do something to keep yourself busy.

You shoouldn't be disappointed because he isn't in love with you yet. Love takes time and 5 months isn't a long a time. However, you should pay attention to his words when he said "he isn't opening himself up for falling in love right now".

We all heard the saying once a cheater always a cheater, however, people do change and his past is his past. And if you can't accept it then again it is time to quit while your ahead.

You have some insecurities but yet you say your not insecure with yourself. So if and when he comment of a girl being pretty it shouldn't get to you. If doesn't get to me when my husband say these things in front of me nor does it bother him when I comment on guys.

I think the two of you should be having fun right now and your getting a taste of what your future would be like if this thing work. So the question is "can you handle it"?

[RNM]

Hi,

I have been in a relationship with this guy for half a year and we are in our early twenties. We broke up a few weeks ago because he always had to leave out of the country for work and then he's leave I guess worried me and I grew some anxcieties in me that made me very upset while he was away. He knew he was hurting me and that our relationship was not looking too good, so we broke up, it was me who just said that we had to break up for the best. Then we had been talking on the phone every 3rd or 4th day and he was leaving again for work but we wanted to meet up as friends and talk because we didn't know when we'd see each other again. But after that meeting things happened and feelings kind of came again and then he said he missed me and he felt empty with out me and he doesn't find anyone else interesting or they are boring. He has now been out of the country for two weeks and we still talk more often now, he says he wants to think about us because he keeps thinking about us. But yet again he is gone and I'm contemplating a lot about us, whether it is a good idea to get back together even if there is some sort of feelings there.. it may not be a good idea because I have always felt like he will let me down and I will get upset again as I did in the past.. but I'm so torn, confused and frustrated in my head that I don't know what to do. I would like to be with him, but I think it would only work out if it was under completely different circumstances. Yet I do not know what to do , because I need some wise words telling me what to do, where to go and how I can be strong with this?? Help me.

Thanks.

[Enigma1999]

Hello RNM,

This is how I see it, you guys broke up because of his "work" and having to leave the country as often as he does... It's not like you guys were really having any other problems, right?

Have you two considered just being close friends for the time being?

You never know what could happen in the future... You guys are still young. Perhaps at the moment, you two remain good friends, but see other people.

I see that according to your post, that you two have strong feelings for one another.

However, you do have to realize that his situation may not change. He may be the type where he always travels for business, and that you have to make that decission whether you can handle that or not.

Let me ask you this, how long does he go at a time? I know you mentioned at one point in your post "2 weeks". Is that all of the time though?

Now, let's say that you two do get back together. Do you think that you can put your trust and faith in him?

These are all questions that you have to think about. I can sit here and tell you how I would handle it, however, when it all comes down to it, it's what you want and what you can handle...

If it were ME, I would remain close friends with him and try to build a good foundation with him. Build up that trust and communication. Yeah, I might, perhaps, date other men... (you are young) I would keep the lines of communication open with him, and maybe up the road, possibly get back together, and take it day by day. I would only do so, really understaning that he would leve the country for business, and putting my trust in him.

That's just me though. I am also a little older then you, so I have been there done that, and I don't push issues and I am also very secure. People are going to do what they want to do.

I understand that you care for him, as well as he does for you. Just take it day by day. I hope that helps you a little.

Good luck.

[amicon]

This is the guy from your January thread I take it?

Stay broken up-why try to get back with someone who only causes confusion?

Move on and find someone who is there and who wants a committed relationship.