[bjohnrupp]

ah man guys.. i have been missing her like crazy. shes all i think about.. and im starting to think deep down maybe i do love her. one of the things that was tearing us apart was that im a lot more mature than her. im going to be a police officer soon and i have always acted older than my age. were both 20.. and i act like im 25-30.. but she acts like shes 15 still lol. maybe if i give her a few months of NC.. she will finally grow up and mature. over this summer i sent to a military style police boot camp and i matured A LOT. it was very intense.. i feel like she hasn't had that "push" into adult hood? anyways.. appreciate you all very much. my buddy of mine went threw something like this with his girlfriend, they broke up for about 3-4 months. got back together.. and now there a lot more mature and have an even stronger relationship. the only thing is i dont know if i can go 3-4 months without her. this past 7 days.. have been unbearable. every 24 hours feels like 24 days to me..

Well man it sounds like the no contact gave you an answer- you obviously love her if the last 7 days have been unbearable- go get your girl back!

[solost8904]

Excellent idea bro. BUT... should I wait a while until she matures? And I have thought if I do decide she's the one. We need to have a long talk about what needs to change before anything else happens..

[bjohnrupp]

excellent idea bro. BUT... should i wait a while until she matures? and i have thought if i do decide shes the one. we need to have a long talk about what needs to change before anything else happens..

If the last 7 days have felt like 7 months then why wait? Who knows how long it'll take before she matures. Definitely have a long talk with her and tell her the things that need to change. Trust me you don't want to wait and wait because she could meet someone else and you don't want to lose her. I wouldn't take a chance on losing her and I'd invite her out to dinner and discuss everything.

[solost8904]

If the last 7 days have felt like 7 months then why wait? Who knows how long it'll take before she matures. Definitely have a long talk with her and tell her the things that need to change. Trust me you dont want to wait and wait because she could meet someone else and you dont want to lose her. I wouldnt take a chance on losing her and I'd invite her out to dinner and discuss everything.

Yeah.. thanks for all your help man you have no idea how much I appreciate it. I have looked at girls at work, at school, and online.. and none of them seem to even compare to her.. do you think I should ask her to go out to dinner with me tomorrow so we can talk? Or is that to soon? And thanks for your quick answers..

[Imabadman]

Unfortunately... no one, and I mean NO ONE matures in 7 days.

Bjohn said it right... talk, talk with her. If you're fortunate she'll give you the time. COMMUNICATE!! That's where it starts and ends.

[solost8904]

Unfortunately... no one, and I mean NO ONE matures in 7 days.

bjohn said it right... talk, talk with her. If you're fortunate she'll give you the time. COMMUNICATE!!! That's where it starts and ends.

If I even do decide to meet her to talk tomorrow.. it will be at least a good 2 hour talk about what needs to change.. and if we do get back together and things just don't work then 1. I will know for sure she's not the one. 2. we will never be able to talk again and 3. I will feel like the biggest *** hole for having to break up again.. but I know this girl loves me.. truly. Thanks for your help

[bjohnrupp]

if i even do decide to meet her to talk tomorrow.. it wil be at least a good 2 hour talk about what needs to change.. and if we do get back together and things just dont work then 1. i will know for sure shes not the one. 2. we will never be able to talk again and 3. i will feel like the biggest *** hole for having to break up again.. but i know this girl loves me.. truly. thanks for your help

Take her to a nice dinner in a quiet restaurant... enjoy yourself! Sounds like a great girl! I lost my fiancé and like you I thought the world of her so I'm happy for you. Exactly right with your #1... not necessarily with your #2 and yea you're probably right about # 3 but lets hope you won't have to!

[jellyfish1981]

if i even do decide to meet her to talk tomorrow.. it wil be at least a good 2 hour talk about what needs to change.. and if we do get back together and things just dont work then 1. i will know for sure shes not the one. 2. we will never be able to talk again and 3. i will feel like the biggest *** hole for having to break up again.. but i know this girl loves me.. truly. thanks for your help

If I were you I wouldn't just have a 2 hour talk about what needs to change. You should at this point meet her and tell her that you want to get back with her but you are not sure if things would change (she might promise to change because she is obviously hurting but not follow through). Talk to her everyday over a period of days (but do not make out with her because if things don't work out she would suspect you or might just become more miserable) and see how much change there is and then get back with her.
I don't know if its only you who doesn't have close friends out side of the relationship or if it's the same for her. I agree with talaniman here. It's the most unhealthy thing to do. No matter how close you are you both need some outside influence in you lives. Maybe she hasn't grown up because she hasn't had that. We all learn from our experiences and from those of people around us so you both really need that. As for getting along better with your girlfriend than other people is concerned - once you go out there and give people a chance you would be surprised to find out how many great people like you are out there.

[talaniman]

I don't think a week is nearly enough time to have figured out if you miss the person, the soul mate, the relationship, the attachment, or all of the above. I doubt seriously if your emotional dust has settled in 7 days. Acting now would be on impulse, and feelings, and not rational thought of what the right thing should be.

I think you should take more time for yourself.

[jimbobthe2nd]

Hey man I'm in the same situation with + 4 years, I'm still with my girlfriend but don't know what to do, we have talked about it and I'm still confused. I don't want to loose her but I feel like I love has grown further apart. I see this was almost a month ago. Can you tell me how things ar going?

[adamyeomans]

Ahh man that sucks hey.. my girlfriend broke up with me after 5 years together just 4 weeks ago. I'm 24 now... we were so different but alike at the same time I didn't.. I still don't know what to do with myself. We used to talk on the phone everyday, she was perfect.. wayyyy out of my league :).
However I think the best thing to do is leave it for 2 months ad see what happens if your feelings change, if you fall back in love with her. Time will tell. Good luck man

[none12345]

thanks man.. i appreciate your answers. the thing is i just dont want to date anyone else.. especially if i do decide its completely over.. im not going to want to date for a while. and every girl i work with/ have class with just are not my type.. =/ just so frickin confused. its so hard now days finding a girl in college that isint obsessed with party's, myspace/facebook, and has some relationship experience.. im going to wait another week or 2.. i hope i just get a sign that said if she was the one or not.. because i just have NO idea. :(

OMG I KNOW! I'm in college too and all the girls are either taken, obsessed with parties or just want to have a good time, facebooking while the prof is talking, texting when you try to talk to them and the list goes on...

The thing is we are in college! Not time to settle down yet and we just need to have fun flirting with different girls :) Eventually the right girl will definitely come along. As for this girl, just spend some time apart. If she is the one for you, you will find your way back together one day :)