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    Nestorian's Avatar
    Nestorian Posts: 978, Reputation: 152
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    #21

    Apr 16, 2009, 08:45 AM

    How can we justify behaviour? Also what do you mean by justifiable? Jake2008.

    Ever hear of William Glaisser? (I'm not sure I spelled his last name right.) At any rate, it may appeare that, according to choice theory, he is trying to fulfil he last need, fun, as well as his second to last need, power/ significants.
    Then there is the neurological aspect, the dopamine high that he may get from it. Because they did this, and like he says, their sexual relationship consist of a lot or a fair bit of anal sex, I don't find this behaviour entirely unreasonable. By that I mean that it is logical to see why he might do that. He is the dominate one, she seems to enjoy being the submisive, they have sex and that produces dopamine, and they associate that kind of play with sex, and their for pleasure. The question is, does she like it, or is it causing her to dislike the sexual behaviour?
    Then there is past behaviours that influence such behaviour, such as rape, child abuse, sexual confution, early child hood developmental issues, and so on. A child's development is a big factor in what their adult sexuality will be like.
    I'm not sure justify is a fair word. Justification implies something wrong, and I know that's your opinion, but you just left out what you meant by justifiable. Did you mean it as in it's imoral, or there is no reasoning for it? I was just wondering?

    Peace and kindness.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #22

    Apr 16, 2009, 03:01 PM

    One thing that bothers me about this question is the apparent lack of communication between husband and wife.

    If this is something you both enjoy, then as long as you're safe, go for it. But, if you are having doubts about why your wife is doing this, then you two need to talk, find out if you're both okay with it.

    I also have a problem with this;

    when she's really displeased me, I've taken to punishing her in a different way. I put her naked over my knee and, using my fingers, I empty her bottom of its contents.
    Displeased you? Punishing her?

    This doesn't sound like a Dom/sub partnership to me, it sounds like abuse.
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #23

    Apr 16, 2009, 03:54 PM
    Abuse is never justifiable, that is what I meant. The OP's question: "Why does my wife submit to such a humiliating punishment" implies dominance and control by the husband, and I have not read that there is compliance with his wife.

    Even he is wondering why she takes it.

    To me that means she is not enjoying herself. I doubt this is a two way street.

    I would love to hear from her.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #24

    Apr 16, 2009, 04:18 PM

    I can only add, he does not question why HE does this to her, he must want or wish to be doing this
    Nestorian's Avatar
    Nestorian Posts: 978, Reputation: 152
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    #25

    Apr 16, 2009, 06:21 PM

    For some people pain, humillation, fear, and so on becomes peasure. Their brains as I've siad, become wired that way.

    We can only make assumptions at this point, until you feel that you want us to hear more of the story.

    Take care Joshua, for this apears to be a little unsettling for you, and her both.

    May peace and kindness be with you.
    truesail's Avatar
    truesail Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #26

    Oct 14, 2009, 05:31 PM
    Perhaps ask yourself why doing this to her is something you consider punishment for her and not you. She understand the dom/sub dynamic. You on the other hand have some od issues to deal with in my opinion. Spanking is more normal that chocolate digging.

    I hope you use your left hand. A fingernail brush for you.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
    Pets Expert
     
    #27

    Oct 14, 2009, 05:35 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by truesail View Post
    Perhaps ask yourself why doing this to her is something you consider punishment for her and not you. She understand the dom/sub dynamic. You on the other hand have some od issues to deal with in my opinion. Spanking is more normal that chocolate digging.

    I hope you use your left hand. A fingernail brush for you.
    Please look at the dates of the threads before posting, and also the OP's contribution.

    This thread is a few months old and the OP has only posted twice. By posting you've bumped this thread to the top of the list when there are newer more urgent threads that need attention.

    It's great to read old threads for info but please refrain from posting on them.

    Thanks. :)

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