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Wendyrite12 · Apr 18, 2009, 03:16 PM

No, he goes out of town here and there, he's a lawyer so things are usuall planned in advance. Also, he has a blackberry so even if he is "out of town" he could have responded since he would have gotten my message. ALso it's been a good week at least. Why would he ask me out for the weekend if he were leaving town? I also feel that he said he was sorry so he DID get my messages and KNOWS he didn't respond. I'm wondering now if it's a commitment issue. He could have me and as I've backed off, now he's coming back around, but he needs to come back harder then ignoring me for a week and sending a 6 word email I'm not sure equals itself out...

Justwantfair · Apr 18, 2009, 07:24 PM

Personally, I don't have time for games.

If you sense a commitment issue, really think about pursuing this (I know that you are seeing that the relationship isn't worth the hassle) because commitment issues do not resolve. You just end up more involved going through a myriad of games. Cut your losses, because you deserve better then to wait around for a fool.

Good luck to you.

Wendyrite12 · Apr 19, 2009, 03:03 PM

Update: so my best friend runs into D, the ex, at a bbq. They get into a whole conversation about it. He says there is no other woman in the picture, the he had a lot of stuff going on with his ex (the mother of his child) last week and felt in over his head. He said he has been confused by my behavior and that he has gotten mixed signals from me. He said he tried to email me the day before (which was the lame 6 word email I posted about). He said he knows he's a terrible communicator but sounded as though everything was going as it should. That he felt before I left the country it was too soon to commit to everything but that we've kept in touch while I was gone and have hung out a bit since I've been back. Yea, barely! The thing is though,he has never contacted ME about any of this. You can't go through someone's friends when your 45. He needs to communicate to ME. I also wonder if now he's just trying to get out of his bad behavior by having my friend explain it to me. Or trying to explain it so our mutual friends don't hate him and he comes off as a confused nice guy or something. Unfortunately, the rest of my friends can't even stand to hear his name at this point, so even working anything out would be an uphill battle. Thoughts on this new information?

I wish · Apr 19, 2009, 04:48 PM

Just ignore the information. It's better if your friends don't get an update about him for you.

You're trying to heal, so any kind of information is just going to reset your recovery process because you analyze too many details.

Just ignore the information.

talaniman · Apr 19, 2009, 04:58 PM

Your giving this way too much thought, more than it deserves, and YOUR keeping your own confusion level so high, you will never heal, unless YOUR behavior changes radically.

Read the other long posts in this forum, and how they see hidden messages, and false hope, and confusion on any contact with the ex, what so ever. That's exactly where your headed. You need no updates, or reports about your ex from anyone.

Wendyrite12 · Apr 19, 2009, 05:12 PM

So I think what you guys are saying is, disregard this whole conversation that my girlfriend had with him and keep on my path unless he for some reason starts to communicate, wants to make it work, will amend behavior et. And THEN reevalute things. Until I hear from the horses mouth, what he says to others is irrelevant and I should continue healing and ignore the rest...

I wish · Apr 19, 2009, 05:21 PM

Originally Posted by Wendyrite12

So I think what you guys are saying is, disregard this whole conversation that my girlfriend had with him and keep on my path unless he for some reason starts to communicate, wants to make it work, will ammend behavior et. and THEN reevalute things. until I hear from the horses mouth, what he says to others is irrelevant and I should continue healing and ignore the rest...

Not even. There's no point going back to him. Even if he talks to you, you should still ignore him. He hasn't treated you with respect in the past, so how do you know he will in the future? You should find someone who actually treats you with sincerity and respect.