So confused.mixed behavior
I met this guy last Halloween. He called every day and we had many great dates. Over Christmas he took me to Mexico for New Years. January was much of the same dating wise but at the end of January I was going on a 6 week business trip over seas that we both knew was coming. The day before I left at dinner I wanted to have the "what are we" conversation, so I would know what the protocol was while I was gone. I said I wanted it to be something, he said "let's just see how things go." I took this the wrong way and we started miscommunicating all over the place and things ended in a bit of a fight. I then left the country. I couple days later I emailed that he was perhaps right, we should take it slow and get to know each other. We continued benign emails here and there the entire trip.
When I returned, he didn't seem in a great hurry but did ask if he could see me the day after I got back. I went by his house one night after a friends birthday dinner and we made out, no sex, and both remarked how happy we were the chemistry was still there. He called every day after and we had a nice dinner out. He then went out of town with his 3 year old for a long weekend, which he has shared custody. I didn't hear from him all weekend but assumed he was busy with the son.
I had a busy weekend myself and hadn't done much in the way of showering so by Monday thought I'd slip into the gym for a little steam/shower. He works in the same building as my gym but I've never seen him until I ran smack into him that day. He saw me driving into the parking garage and waited by the elevators for me to come up. Feeling smelly and gross I inadvertently acted kindof odd. He was very sweet, showed me pics from the weekend and commented I seemed nervous. I just said I wasn't planning on running into anyone. As we separated he asked "can I see you later this week?" and I replied nervously (and stupidly) "maybe." He then asked "well can I call you at least?" to which I replied AGAIN thinking I was coy "maybe." After thinking about it, I felt bad about my behavior and later that night texted him that he looked really great when I saw him. Crickets, nothing.
So still feeling bad, the next day I wrote again and said "I felt like things were a little uncomfortable. I didn't mean them to be. I'd love to see you this week." Again,no response. I'm starting to think, this is maybe his way of fading out. Then, what do you know, 2 days later, Thursday, I run into him again as I'm going to the gym. (universe works strangely sometimes). I was determined this time to be warm and friendly so did not act odd. He was friendly, asked what I was doing for the weekend. I had a lot of plans for some reason so said "tonight is a bday, fri is my brothers concert, saturday I might go camping." we joked and talked a bit and as we separated he said "if you want to grab a bite and see a movie, let me know..." I replied "you know my schedule so tell me what works for you." After I left I realized I didn't give him much of an opening so texted an hour later "How about Saturday or Sunday? I'm not going camping." Nothing. No reply. I waited through the weekend and yesterday, Sunday, grabbed the bull by the horns and called him. It rang once and went to voice mail which usually means the person hit "ignore."
I left a message saying "Hey I was just wanting to see what was up. I haven't heard back from you in a while so maybe your unavailable which is fine but if you'd like to get together I think that would be fun. Let me know and happy holidays..." Nothing! It's driving me mad. I don't know if I've confused him by my signals so he's taking some time out, giving me a taste of my own medicine OR I'm taking it personally and he's actually trying to end it by being cowardly. It doesn't make sense to ask someone out when you see them and then ignore them when they contact you. He's 48 and an attorney so I would THINK he would be man enough to end it if he wanted and not take the cowards way out, but that's sure what it feels like. Or have I messed it up? I do like him and I guess gave off weird signals because I wasn't sure what his feelings were from before my leaving. Any interpretation of his behavior or a recommendation of what I can do would be so appreciated. I'm not sure I'mcomfortable making any more contact. Thank you for reading.
Disappearing, what are the reasons
My guy would call every night for 4 months, I randonly ran into him on the street, he was really nice asked to see me in a couple days and to let him know my schedule. When I emailed it, he never responded, emailed again, nothing. Ran into him again 2 days later, again he asks me out. I was slightly colder so followed up later saying I'd be available on the weekend. Never heard again. It's been 4 days. Is this the biggest coward on the planet? He is on medication for depression. Do depressives ever disappear? How could I choose such a rotten ball of cheese?
