[tazma95]

I work every day from 3.30 until 9 on Saturday and Sunday I work 11 to 3 then 5 to 10.30. By the time I actually get home it doesn't leave me much time I'm usually up to 1 studying.Not every night but most. I am not hooked on the pills I use to study with out them but id either fall asleep at the computer or stay up so late the next day id fall asleep in class. It got so bad my mum was called in for a parent teacher meeting because my grades were so bad. I Tried to tell her I couldn't handle school and work but as usual she didn't want to hear it she said I just needed to apply myself more to my studies. Oh I'm a waitress

[cdad]

its not that easy to just lay my future on the table and say ha just give it your best shot. What if my best shot isnt good enough, what if i can't study and fall asleep and fall behind then im screwed. No uni no future just a dead end job. Yeah that sounds great.

Here is where your inexperience shows through. Life is full of disappointments. And its full of the greatest joys you could imagine. But the real deal is that you have to live it to experience it. That's why us "old" people are saying the things we are. You appear smart enough that you should already know that failure is a learning experience not the end of the road. There are people in their 80's graduating college. You have a lifetime to live out and there is no roadmap. What you really need to focus on is staying the course and keeping yourself out of trouble. After that then focus on your passion. It really is true that when you do what is your passion you don't have to work. It's a joy everyday. Ive followed my passions and it has lead to many great experiences and friendships that otherwise wouldn't exist. Yes there are hassles along the way. Life is not always easy. But if you are true to yourself and remain so you will excel without even trying. Keep it real.

[Cat1864]

Something to look at when you study, are you spending time dreading it and making last longer than it should? Are you having any problems with the materials? We can help with those.

Looking at your schedule, when was your boyfriend 'helping you study'? Where was he helping you study? I think I am beginning to see where your mother started getting concerned and why she went through your things.

I am concerned that you haven't been totally truthful about the pills. What type of pills have you been using to stay awake while studying? Have you started using them in the morning to 'get started' and stay awake in class? Have you used them for that even once? Have you been tempted to? Do you have trouble going to sleep after taking them? Have you taken pills to go to sleep?

[tazma95]

When I study all I can think about os getting it done as quick as possible. I use to go to my boyfriends house on Saturday and Sunday between shifts he would help me study then and sometimes he would sneak over at night if mum was asleep. Well I'm glad you understand why she was concerned and went through my things because I don't think I gave her any reason to.

I'll be honest about the pills I've been taking dexamphetamines.Everynow and again I use them to help me at school if I'm really tired or have a big test.Some times I have trouble getting to sleep but I've been using tamazapan from the doctors too go to sleep for ages I always have some in my bathroom in case I need them.Its not a big deal people at my school are into heaps of things at least I'm not smoking pot or taking trips or E's I'm just using something to help me with school.I don't smoke I don't drink I'm only trying to do better at school.

[J_9]

So, you are taking amphetamines to keep you awake and then taking benzo's to help you sleep?

This can be a very deadly concoction and is most highly addictive.

[tazma95]

Despite what everyone thinks its not that bad I don't take these all the time and I'm not addicted to them I can stop taking them if I want to I just use them when I need to. I rarley mix the two together only when its late and I can't sleep. Man its not like I'm doing really bad drugs. Deadly, I've never had a problem with it. If what I'm doing is not good then how come my grades have improved so much I'm a better student even my teachers have made comments about it. Do you think I want it to go back to the way it was before failing no way!

[J_9]

Actually, you ARE doing really bad drugs. Amphetamines and benzo's are bad drugs.

Does Australia not have child labor laws? If so, it seems you are working way too many hours per week.

[Wondergirl]

i work every day from 3.30 til 9 on saturday and sunday i work 11 to 3 then 5 to 10.30.

Mon = 5.5
Tue = 5.5
Wed = 5.5
Thu = 5.5
Fri = 5.5
Sat = 9.5? Or 4.0?
Sun = 9.5? Or 5.5?

Total = 46.5? Or 37.0?

You're 15 and work that many hours as a waitress to pay the rent and half the bills ("pay her rent and half of the bills")?

What does your mom do all day? Is she disabled?

[tazma95]

My mom works full time she is co ordinator of a child care center. I don't mind working I just wish it wasn't all the time. Ive tried talking to her about it like I said she won't listen to me. This week is the first time I've had a whole week of work and its been good except for the fact that she invaded my privacy and now I have to deal with her over that. But if she won't listen to me about how I'm feeling then I don't know what to do but to keep doing what I am just hide it better.

[adviceishere]

Agreed, your speeding up your heart one minute and then slowing it down, this can lead to cardiac arrest.

[J_9]

just hide it better.

This is actually going to get you into MORE trouble. She will find it. I promise you that. I am the mother of a teen girl and I've already raised 2 boys. There is nothing you can hide from us, we will find it.

You have already broken her trust, what you will be doing by hiding "it better" will break your relationship with her. By hiding "it better" it shows that you are indeed addicted to these drugs. If you aren't, you would stop them altogether and find productive, rather than destructive, ways to deal with your situation.

If you can't handle the work hours, and you shouldn't have to work that many hours at your age, ask your boss to cut your hours by a few hours per week because your grades are beginning to slip.

You will never go to university if you get pregnant by this pedophile, nor will you go if you remain addicted to amphetamines and benzos.

[tazma95]

He is not a pedophile and I am not seeing him anymore I told him I don't want to get him into trouble so were having a break.I am not addicted to the pills I haven't even used them since I have been on holidays and I don't feel like I need to either.I will ask to cut my hours down but I don't know how mum will react to that seeing as my boss is her friend.I only wanted my mom to listen to me.

[talaniman]

Where's your dad in all of this?

[Cat1864]

When I study all I can think about os getting it done as quick as possible. I use to go to my boyfriends house on Saturday and Sunday between shifts he would help me study then and sometimes he would sneak over at night if mum was asleep. Well I'm glad you understand why she was concerned and went through my things because I don't think I gave her any reason to.

I'll be honest about the pills I've been taking dexamphetamines.Everynow and again I use them to help me at school if I'm really tired or have a big test.Some times I have trouble getting to sleep but I've been using tamazapan from the doctors too go to sleep for ages I always have some in my bathroom in case I need them.Its not a big deal people at my school are into heaps of things at least I'm not smoking pot or taking trips or E's I'm just using something to help me with school.I don't smoke I don't drink I'm only trying to do better at school.

Where did your mother think you were when you were at your boyfriend's house? Do you think that she might not have been as asleep as you thought she was when he 'snuck' out?

Have you read the side effects of the drugs you are 'ocassionally' using?
Amphetamine and Dextroamphetamine (Oral Route): Side effects - MayoClinic.com
Temazepam (Oral Route): Side effects - MayoClinic.com

Why do you have a prescription for Temazepan? Do you think that your mother doesn't keep an eye on medications that you are taking even on an as needed basis? How did you even get the 'dexamphetamines'?

This week is the first time I've had a whole week of work

What has your usual schedule been up until this week?

I haven't even used them since I have been on holidays

Are you 'on holidays' now or are you back at school?

Addictions and Habits sneak up on you. No one thinks that a pill every few weeks will ever become a pill every few days or turn into a pill every few hours. When it gets to where pills are the first thing you think of when you get tired or have a late night of studying, then you have a problem. When your mother takes the pills away and instead of accepting it, you try to think of better ways to 'hide' them (even though by your own words you say you haven't felt the need for them while on holidays), you have a problem.

If school is in session and this is your new 'normal' schedule at work, talk to your boss. IF your mother wants you to be responsible as a student and employee, then she will have to accept that part of that responsibility is communicating with your employer to work out a feasible schedule.

[tazma95]

My dad died in a car accident two years ago.My mum thought I was in town with friends when I was at my boyfriends.Im on school holidays at the moment until next week.My shifts at work are always the same even when I'm on holidays.I was prescribed temazepam because I use to have problems sleeping after my dad passed away so I just lie and tell the doctor I can't sleep and he gives them to me when ever I ask.My mum doesn't even know what pills I have if they are from the doctors she doesn't care I have my own bathroom if she's seen them she has never said anything. Dex are easy to get so many people at school are ADD or ADHD so you can buy them easy.Lots of people do it. So you say I have a problem I don't see it that way but maybe your right I don't know,I don't want to be addicted to them I just wanted to do well.This is where I get angry because I don't want to have to work so much I don't mind working on the weekend and maybe one or two nights a week but not all the time, I want to be able to make these decisions for myself but she won't let me. If I didn't work so much then I wouldn't take them I wouldn't need to. Your all really freaking me out about the pills I didn't think it's that bad.I don't know what to do now, I just mum would talk to me so I could tell her how I'm feeling and work things out.

[adviceishere]

Maybe you could write your mum a letter? She can't say anything until she has read it all, makesure your out of the house when she finds it, then at least she can think things through until she sees you and she anger will have calmed by then, explain it all to her, tell her why you have taking the tablets, about work and school, tell her EVERYTHING and make it heartfelt and really mean what you write from the bottom of your heart, tell her you really want to well in life and you went about it the wrong way, that you sorry and your solution to cut your working hours.

[Cat1864]

My shifts at work are always the same even when im on holidays.

This week is the first time ive had a whole week of work

I think a letter to your mother would be a good idea.

I also think you need to talk to a counselor at school. You both need to learn how to communicate with each other. A neutral third party can help.

You might not like hearing what other people think about your ex-boyfriend, but he was very wrong to begin a relationship with a 15 year old. Especially one who is looking for love and acceptance in the wrong place. He is an adult and should know better. I know you don't understand at this moment and that you are feeling all the negative emotions that come with breaking up, but someday it will be clearer.

[tazma95]

I wrote her a letter telling her everything how I feel and why I took the pills.She read it and when I came home went mental about all the pills (she didn't know about the sleeping pills she though I didn't take them anymore,and she didn't know what the other ones were) told me I was stupid and could have killed myself and how could I be so selfish she's already lost her husband and she could have lost me. We had a big argument I didn't mean to yell at her but she was yelling at me and I couldn't take it anymore calling me selfish I only wanted to make her happy. I told her I'm quitting my job so I can concentrate on my studies id find another job with less hours. She just walked out and went to work, how can she just walk away it makes me angry she always just leaves or doesn't say anything.I just want to scream, I fell so lonely I don't have my boyfriend to talk to or comfort me anymore my life sux I'm so over it. If she won't talk to me I'm not going to speak to her anymore she can go to hell maybe if I run away she will be happy she doesn't have to look after me.

[tazma95]

Why doesn't she understand I don't want to fight with her. I broke up with my boyfriend to make her happy, I told her wrote it all down why I took the pills that working all the time was just too much that I wanted to do well at school make her proud of me but she still yells at me I hate her.I feel like I have nobody she can't even just talk to me she makes me so angry I just want to smash something

[Cat1864]

She is probably scared. Think about how you would react if you found out that your mother was doing things that could take her away from you. I don't think you would be very happy.

Both of you need to calm down and then talk. If at all possible with a neutral third party as mediator.

Do you have a school counselor you can talk to? What about your doctor?

By the way, why the discrepancy between:

Originally Posted by tazma95
My shifts at work are always the same even when I'm on holidays.

Originally Posted by tazma95
This week is the first time I've had a whole week of work