[vanheart]

Nice to hear.
Thanks for the update.
Keep going.

[bella99]

So glad to hear that you are feeling better. Take a lot of time to do things for you that you want to do, and don't worry about when your next relationship will start. It will happen eventually and you should just be totally happy to be single until then! Lots of great reasons to be single, like doing whatever you want whenever you want with whomever you want - and you don't even have to tell anyone where you are going :)

[sadnlostedddd]

Been 6 months, it still stings like crazy, everything else in my life is fine, but the break up is still a very sensitive, soft spot, and I'm beginning to wonder if it's a feeling I'll always have to live with.

[amicon]

The sting will fade and it won't be as sensitive-leaving just a bittersweet memory.

[talaniman]

Severe wounds are always sensitive until they heal. It takes time so stick with taking your medicine.

[dynocompe]

I had a scar on my leg from a hockey skate blade, the scar was purple for about 5 yrs, now you can't even see it hardly!

[paxe]

Time and NC is what it takes so that the sting go away. Make your own life interesting and enjoyable and you should be fine soon.

[pureorganic]

Great story!! I read all 21 pages and every post! Its amazing to see people change and grow after such a hurtful grevious time in there lives. If you find joy in the journey then you can take your trials and tribulations and weaknesses and turn them into a strength for yourself!! Keep us updated!!

[sadnlostedddd]

I am not having a setback, nothing happened, but I've been trying to fool myself this whole time. I keep telling myself I'm over her, I can find better, but deep down I know that I'm not anywhere close to being over her. I've done EVERYTHING right, I've been in NC since like, I don't know early November, the last time I looked at her fb was every December, this semester, I'm so busy, I've got work, I've got school, I've been lifting, I'm learning the piano still, and I just recently joined a fraternity, and everything seems perfect from the outside, the fraternity, I love it, I've met so many people, there's always someone to hang out with, school and my job are amazing, I've put on weight, but to be honest, I'd trade it all back in a second to be back with her, or to have back what we had.

It's very sad because I know that even if she wanted me back, I could never go back to her, after what she put me through, I don't think she deserves me, I couldn't let myself do it. But that's what I want so bad, and I've always wanted it.

What eats me up the most is how quickly she moved on, if we were both single, I probably would have been healed much quicker, and I'd probably feel a whole lot better, but her moving on, downgrading in the eyes of most, makes me feel so much worse. I probably have at least one dream a night thinking of her having sex with her new guy. In my mind, she's having the best sex in the history of the world.

It's just something I've learned to deal with though. It bothers the crap out of me, but no one knows, I don't let my emotions show, everyone thinks I'm over it. But to be honest there have been times, maybe once every 2 or 3 weeks that I cry thinking about everything.

I don't know if anyone can relate to what I'm saying, I don't want her back, I can never take her back, but I wish I could.

I feel like I'm thinking about everything that's perfect about our relationship, and she's thinking, or was thinking about that's bad about it.

I feel like, I'd be able to move on better if I knew she was hurting just as much as I was, she might be, she's sort of hinted at it a couple of times, but I don't know. It wouldn't give me hope, it would make me feel like I wasn't the only one who had invested emotions in our relationship.

I don't know, I'm all over the place, I'm just venting, its been almost 7 months, and I still haven't really moved on any. I've been gotten to the point where I've been able to deal with it all, but I still hurt like crazy, I probably think about her on average once every 5 minutes. I really really loved her, and I've changed a lot, humbled myself, become a nicer guy, and really grown up, but Idk, I feel like I need her to share it with, I don't know what to do at this point, I get the temptation to contact her, but that will do nothing, I want to look at her Facebook but that will only make it worse, I don't know my imagination is really killing me right now, I'm at work and I've been typing this up for the past half hour, I don't know I need some help

[amicon]

Look at everything you have achieved and be proud of yourself.
That's what you need to focus on now.

There is no rule book that says you have to heal after a specific number of days.

I do think though,that you should stop measuring yourself against your ex.

It really doesn't matter how she is or what she is doing.

What matter is that you keep going the way you are and that you are patient with yourself.

[bella99]

I know EXACTLY how you feel. Its been almost a year for me and I still sometimes wish it would work out between us, but at the same time I don't think he deserves the time of day from me. And yes, it is because you still are only thinking about the good times with her when you do think about her.

There is nothing I can tell you to do that you aren't already doing, except in time you will meet another person that you will have fun with again and then you won't compare your life to your exes any more.

Just think about the fun you are having with your new friends, being single, and don't compare your life to hers. I always think of everything as the next step to where ever I'm meant to be. There is someone much more amazing out there that you haven't met yet.

Keep doing what your doing... there's a lot of people in your boat.

[Newguy2009]

I don't know if anyone can relate to what I'm saying, I don't want her back, I can never take her back, but I wish I could.

Classic case of denial. You say you would trade everything just to go back to the way things WERE? WHY? I can see that you have been trying very hard to move on but the fact remains that you continue to dwell on the past and all the what ifs

I feel like I'm thinking about everything that's perfect about our relationship, and she's thinking, or was thinking about that's bad about it.

You have to stop thinking of what she thinks. STOP IT NOW! It took me a minute to come to the realization that things were over but if you have one last though of her let it be this "she left me, that tells me she just doesnt care and why should I?". That works for me and every time I think about getting back with my ex I remember this thought.

I feel like, I'd be able to move on better if I knew she was hurting just as much as I was, she might be, she's sort of hinted at it a couple of times, but idk. It wouldn't give me hope, it would make me feel like I wasn't the only one who had invested emotions in our relationship.

Again, you have to stop wondering about her and hoping she is going through the same pain. She may or may not be. I don't contact my ex anymore but I do hope she is well.(I used to wish her pain, but that does no good it only stoops to their level) that makes me feel better. Be the bigger man and walk away from this mess for good. Like others have said, there is no timeframe to get over someone but you need to really dig deep and know that there is no going back, only moving forward.

[emopunk7]

Hey it's normal. It's going to be 6 months for me too. It's funny because I think about the same things like she is having the best sex ever. Then it made me laugh after you said it and it made me realize it's something we all think of. They are not having the best sex in the world. I highly doubt they could find better sex. After doing this one girl who keeps coming back and she wants to hang out again, it showed me that sex is just as good with another girl. I used to grab my girl in the neck and have her smack my face and tell her to touch herself and lick her breast and I'd kiss her feet and bang her saying dirty things. I mostly missed being close and being able to do that stuff. After doing those same things with the new girl, I realized it can happen again and it helped. It's not exactly the same but that's because there isn't that love feeling but it helped me realize sex is just as good and can be a lot better. Sorry for the vivid details but I'm trying to help you out. You are probably having a bad day or thinking too much at work. It happens to me and I can't even write about it here anymore so I suck it in. You will be fine though. I had one love that was very short and the other for about a year and the longest and closest bond was my last one. There is always another one out there. Be patient. Trust me and keep your head up. You've had bad days before, right? These are just those days. You will be a better man at the end. You are maturing and you don't even know it. You are doing great so stay positive and continue being the best you can be. ARMY. LOL

[Something_Here]

I can def understand why it bothers you that she's with someone else. For me, even the notion that my ex has hooked up with someone or may have a new boyfriend is unsettling, knowing that it's a fact is probably a killer. Hard as it is though, we have to try to follow NewGuy's advice and stop thinking about how she's feeling and how/what she's doing. Keep up the effort, it will pay off eventually.

[sadnlostedddd]

Hey everybody, thanks for the support, the bad feelings go away, and then come back very quickly, I think it's just a phase and this weekend I'll let out some frustration and have a little fun.

I had an interesting conversation with a friend from hs last night who goes to the same college as me, and her and her hs boyfriend broke up last year, and she started dating someone else soon after, she said that she no longer has romantic feelings for her ex, and doesn't look at him like that anymore, but she still deals with their breakup...

Our breakup was pretty ugly, we broke up, got real emotional, said some pretty harsh things to each other, tried being friends, stopped talking, and then she started dating that other guy, one of the things that bothers me the most is that we were so close and then overnight everything fell apart the way that it did...

Will I always have to "deal" with out breakup, even if I'm in love with someone else?

[amicon]

I don't think you'll have to deal with it much longer,it's a learning experience and its part of life.

That doesn't mean you'll feel sad whenever you remember it,it'll be a memory,though bittersweet.

[Newguy2009]

People don't just break up over night. She had been feeling this way for some time, you just didn't see it.

Deal with the breakup head on by NC her. Over time you will heal and move on completely. Sure you are going to think about her from time to time and wonder how she is doing. That's normal. But those thoughts will become less frequent as you progress through life

[bella99]

Once you fall in love with someone else, your feelings won't be the same for your ex. You will still care about her, but not in the same way -and you will be glad that you two broke up, because if you had stayed together you would never have met the next and better girl :) There is a reason for everything.

[blkdymd]

Believe me, never want someone who has left you. They are gone for a reason you cannot understand at this time. Actions do speak louder than words and if she has moved on with another guy so soon she has been looking for someone else way before you knew. So don't look back, keep your good memories but don't waste your energy and heart on someone who can walk away from you.

[talaniman]

You will move on to other things to deal with soon. But if you haven't learned from this experience, you will carry your mistakes to the next relationship as unpacked baggage.