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Wondergirl · Jun 22, 2015, 05:01 PM

Originally Posted by xjterry

What do you mean? If I send a text writing 'happy b'day' it is so bad?

YES. DO NOT do that!!!!!! It's over. Finished.

talaniman · Jun 22, 2015, 06:00 PM

Okay, you just do whatever makes you happy..

Homegirl 50 · Jun 22, 2015, 07:31 PM

He has given you every indication that he wants nothing to do with you. He has told you before about calling him so much. Why would you think wishing him a happy birthday will make him happy or make a difference?
It is not about being good or bad or mean, it's about getting a clue and some dignity. Leave the man alone. He has left you alone.

xjterry · Jun 22, 2015, 07:53 PM

I am hurt and my feelings are confused.. I know that what you are telling me is because you can see the situation clearer but I feel like I am not supposed to feel this way. You are saying 'leave the man alone' 'it's finished' etc but how supportive is this? I mean I am grieving and it hurts a lot I need compasion not to fell like I am doing something wrong because I feel this way

Homegirl 50 · Jun 22, 2015, 08:08 PM

I am telling the truth. Did you ask a question only to be told what you want to hear? I feel for you, I really do. If it will make you feel better to wish him happy birthday, do it, don't ask our opinion, but think about what you would tell your friend if she came to you with this scenario?
It will get better but you must step back and give yourself time and space to heal.

talaniman · Jun 22, 2015, 08:58 PM

<>Big CYBER HUG<> from us all. Got friends, or family? Call them.

Oliver2011 · Jun 23, 2015, 06:10 AM

What do you want to happen at this point? When you make a bold move, right or wrong, like breaking up with someone, you have to understand that his reaction to that is completely 100% undoubtedly NOT in your control. From an outsider looking in, it seems as if you played your hand and wanted him to beg for you to take him back. And now you're saying "OOPS" because that didn't happen. If he doesn't want you back, there's not much you can do about that now. You gave him the out and he's running with it.

We get that you are hurting and need comfort right now. If we changed our answers because of that it wouldn't be giving you the best service. We have all been through breakups and we have all survived them. Dwelling on this is not going to help you in the long run. You need to get your mind focused on other things and each day you will be feeling better.

Originally Posted by xjterry

I am hurt and my feelings are confused.. I know that what you are telling me is because you can see the situation clearer but I feel like I am not supposed to feel this way. You are saying 'leave the man alone' 'it's finished' etc but how supportive is this? I mean I am grieving and it hurts a lot I need compasion not to fell like I am doing something wrong because I feel this way

talaniman · Jun 23, 2015, 06:44 AM

The worst thing you can do when you get dumped is to isolate yourself from other people. Hard to leave an ex alone if they were your ONLY support, and now you have none. Is this the case with you?

Oliver2011 · Jun 23, 2015, 06:56 AM

I totally agree and the OP needs to learn from this too. You can't make your partner your sole existence and support. It's not healthy and is a very difficult situation should the relationship not survive. You need to keep your friends, family, and fun that is separate from your relationship. It makes the relationship so much more healthy. That is not to say you don't invite your partner to participate in some of those things.